Customer quotes that have made my week... special

[SengaKitty]

OK, so I've had a visit from several special busses this week... but the quotes I'm about to post either just made me go WTF or forced me to mute my phone and fall out of my chair laughing. Feel free to add your own (not sure if this goes here, mods feel free to move)

Mute your phone and laugh hysterically, then fix his problem
Me: Okay sir, and what is your cable box doing?
Old Guy: This dang box ain't doin nothin but lookin at me stupid!
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Did you really just ask me that?
Me: Okay, now could you please right click on the wireless icon?
Lady: Okay, I forgot, but which one is right?
Me: The button on the right?
Lady: My right?
Me: -facepalm- Yes.....

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Ummm....
Me: Alright, I need you to go ahead and unplug your modem, and then bypass the router by taking the ethernet cable out of the router and putting it straight to the modem...
Fun Guy: Okay, well I'm just gonna lay you down here, so you get comfortable, cause I'm gonna have to use both hands...



Ah well... I had to pass those on hehe... Will probably have more later

[Rapscallion]

More along the Brain Burp lines.

Rapscallion

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I always get confused because I have my mouse on my left, so "right-clicking" to me is actually clicking the left-most button (thus exacerbating my left-right confusion that I have anyway). I've seen the mouse buttons also called MB1, MB2, MB3, which makes it easier for those of us who have the mouse on the left hand side and have the buttons switched over the other way.

I use a mouse left-handed myself, but with the touchpad on the laptop, I'm a righty.

Confused? Not me . . . someone else might not be able to though.

[Mister]

I always get confused because I have my mouse on my left, so "right-clicking" to me is actually clicking the left-most button (thus exacerbating my left-right confusion that I have anyway). I've seen the mouse buttons also called MB1, MB2, MB3, which makes it easier for those of us who have the mouse on the left hand side and have the buttons switched over the other way.

OK, that one stopped my dead in my tracks for a while, I'm right-handed and never thought about this before. The mouse and it's functions have been designed for right-handed people (I imagine some duh's from left-handed people now) because the most clicking (left-clicking) is done by the most agile finger, the index-finger. The lesser clicking, the specials like fastmenu's and special weapon modes, are done by the less agile finger, the ring-finger. To offer the left-handed people the same comfort, the buttons need to be mirrored so the most used button is now the right button under the index-finger. Which would mean the terms "leftclicking" and "rightclicking" only apply to right-handed people. They should be renamed to "Clicking" and "Specialclicking"

Does anybody here have Microsoft connections? I'd love to see a successful movement to change these terms.

To the Leftorium !

[Dreamstalker]

Me: Okay sir, and what is your cable box doing?
Old Guy: This dang box ain't doin nothin but lookin at me stupid!

Wow, I've always said that our cable box goes nuts if someone looks at it funny...never did I know that they have the power to make people go nuts by doing the same.

Ummm....
Me: Alright, I need you to go ahead and unplug your modem, and then bypass the router by taking the ethernet cable out of the router and putting it straight to the modem...
Fun Guy: Okay, well I'm just gonna lay you down here, so you get comfortable, cause I'm gonna have to use both hands...