Thank you for calling ....

[AlleyCat]

The final hour at work, incoming call.

Me: Thank you for calling .... (mmmm, where do I work now? Its not Business Depot or Kinkos or McAfee or the Impound Lot)

Brain Fart goes on for about 7 seconds, I finally said Sega.

(oops ... wrong company still)

[telecom_goddess]

I used to be bad about answering my home phone with my business phone greeting

[AlleyCat]

I do that too by accident, unless I am trying to be a smart alek.

[Mishi]

I do that too by accident, unless I am trying to be a smart alek.

My hubby does it on purpose, if he recognises the number. He managed to catch my dad off-guard with "<AREA> Crematorium! You kill'em, we grill'em. Rugz speaking, how may I direct your call?"

[MrPibbsRevenge]

I almost had a bad slip when I got partially through the greeting.

Me: Thank you for calling <Store> We buy and sell used po- games! Games!

I blame my co-workers for talking about the store of interest located down the street moments before hand.

[MsCrankypants]

My first job out of college was working as a Spanish translator for 911 emergency calls in my home state. For the first couple of weeks of that job, I'd answer my home phone, "911 translation, how can I help you?" Oops.

[Mycroft]

I work two jobs (one just for fun), and am, basically, "phone support" for both. Why, yes, I have answered the phone at $JOB1 with the greeting for $JOB2...

And I also get warning of who's calling. "Joe's Rent-a-Mafia. You got the job, we got the Mob" is one of my favourites.

[Seshat]

Helga's House of Heaven; your pleasure is our business!

[noone]

Jo's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'Em!

Tentacle Pleasure Palace, how may I fondle you?

[dalesys]

Your Nation Drug Test Lab.

[MadMike]

My hubby does it on purpose, if he recognises the number. He managed to catch my dad off-guard with "<AREA> Crematorium! You kill'em, we grill'em. Rugz speaking, how may I direct your call?"

I did something like that to one of my friends awhile back. This was before Caller ID, but my then-girlfriend told me to expect the call, and it was late enough at night that it probably wasn't anyone else. She had to go somewhere, so it was just me and a buddy of mine sitting around getting drunk. When the phone rang, I answered it, "(name of town) police department, may I help you?"

There was a brief pause, and then my friend's confused voice saying, "I'm sorry, I have the wrong number." Then after she recognized my drunken laughter, she said, "Oh, you dick!"

[dalesys]

When I ran a computer repair center for Shadio Rack 30 years ago, the national parts warehouse would call at the same time every day to get my order.

So I'd answer "Confusion Shack Radio Center."

[Ironclad Alibi]

I had a girlfriend back in college that would sometimes answer the phone at the dorm's front desk. She would say, "Who in the hall do you want?" Of course, if you didn't listen carefully it sounded a little different.

[Imogene]

"Who in the hall do you want?"

Shouldn't that be 'Whom'?

Also, I really want to answer the phone with "Harga's House of Ribs" or, "CMOT Dibbler's Sausage in a Bun... and that's cuttin me own throat..."

[xx_wolfie_xx]

Harry's happy house of hedonism how may i help you