This is not based on any particular carry out I have done, but rather it contains bits and pieces of all of them from the almost two years I've been there.
So a customer comes up and says they want to buy a piece of furniture, let's say, a computer desk. Here is how the carryout will most likely go.
1. Find a pallet jack. This means you must walk all the way across the store to recieving, where they are located. The quick way is through the back room.
2. Upon procuring pallet jack, try to go back the same way you just came. Find the way blocked by softlines clothing racks, have to go out onto the floor to go the rest of the way and fight through the crowds around Electronics
3. Wrestle incredibly heavy desk onto pallet jack.
4. Wrestle incredibly heavy desk off of pallet jack because the box has a tear in it, wrestle box that was underneath it onto pallet jack instead.
5. Take customer over to Sporting Goods register because it will be much quicker than waiting in the lines up front. After ringing them up, watch as five more customers descend on you like vultures on a dead horse wanting to be rung up. This will take another 15 minutes
6. Start pulling jack with desk on it towards the front of the store as customer follows, asking why you can't build it for them.
7. A customer asks you to open up the video game cabinet because they are sick of waiting, tell them you are busy and can't help them.
8. A customer demands you help them look for a blender, tell them you're busy and can't help them.
9. Stop and almost smash your foot with the pallet jack because eight-year old demon spawn on heelies glides around the corner.
10. Find out that "Excuse me" has changed meaning from "Could you move please?" to "Please stand in my way and stare at your own fingernails" Watch as customer finally gets the idea to move, and moves, a quarter of an inch forward. Resist urge to just go past and run over their feet
11. Resist urge to yell "Get the FUCK out of the way" to another dumbass that decides to block the aisle
12. Finally get to the front end. People are everywhere and space is tight. Tell customer that demands that you jump on a register that you are busy and can't help them.
13. Get through the crowds and to the front door. Wait for customer to fish through impossibly full purse to get the reciept. Reciept is found and you start heading outside. Tell customer to meet you at the loading zone.
14. You wait ten minutes for customer to pull up. Resist urge to go on profanity-laden rant when customer pulls up in a Ford Escort
15. With help from a cart pusher, try to cram desk into the trunk at customers insistence. The box does not come close to fitting. Instead almost crush your hand trying to cram it into the back seat.
16. Finally shove desk into back seat at a cost of your lower back hurting. Customer gets in car and drives off with barely a thank you
17. Go back inside the store, walk all the way to the back to drop off pallet jack, go on profanity-laden rant in the back room as amused coworkers laugh. Go out onto the floor, and have a customer ask for help carrying out a treadmill
So a customer comes up and says they want to buy a piece of furniture, let's say, a computer desk. Here is how the carryout will most likely go.
1. Find a pallet jack. This means you must walk all the way across the store to recieving, where they are located. The quick way is through the back room.
2. Upon procuring pallet jack, try to go back the same way you just came. Find the way blocked by softlines clothing racks, have to go out onto the floor to go the rest of the way and fight through the crowds around Electronics
3. Wrestle incredibly heavy desk onto pallet jack.
4. Wrestle incredibly heavy desk off of pallet jack because the box has a tear in it, wrestle box that was underneath it onto pallet jack instead.
5. Take customer over to Sporting Goods register because it will be much quicker than waiting in the lines up front. After ringing them up, watch as five more customers descend on you like vultures on a dead horse wanting to be rung up. This will take another 15 minutes
6. Start pulling jack with desk on it towards the front of the store as customer follows, asking why you can't build it for them.
7. A customer asks you to open up the video game cabinet because they are sick of waiting, tell them you are busy and can't help them.
8. A customer demands you help them look for a blender, tell them you're busy and can't help them.
9. Stop and almost smash your foot with the pallet jack because eight-year old demon spawn on heelies glides around the corner.
10. Find out that "Excuse me" has changed meaning from "Could you move please?" to "Please stand in my way and stare at your own fingernails" Watch as customer finally gets the idea to move, and moves, a quarter of an inch forward. Resist urge to just go past and run over their feet
11. Resist urge to yell "Get the FUCK out of the way" to another dumbass that decides to block the aisle
12. Finally get to the front end. People are everywhere and space is tight. Tell customer that demands that you jump on a register that you are busy and can't help them.
13. Get through the crowds and to the front door. Wait for customer to fish through impossibly full purse to get the reciept. Reciept is found and you start heading outside. Tell customer to meet you at the loading zone.
14. You wait ten minutes for customer to pull up. Resist urge to go on profanity-laden rant when customer pulls up in a Ford Escort
15. With help from a cart pusher, try to cram desk into the trunk at customers insistence. The box does not come close to fitting. Instead almost crush your hand trying to cram it into the back seat.
16. Finally shove desk into back seat at a cost of your lower back hurting. Customer gets in car and drives off with barely a thank you
17. Go back inside the store, walk all the way to the back to drop off pallet jack, go on profanity-laden rant in the back room as amused coworkers laugh. Go out onto the floor, and have a customer ask for help carrying out a treadmill
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