Most WTF things you've been asked at work.

[OneMoreTime]

"Do I have to stand in line to buy Sudafed?" I felt like telling him "No, just butt in line in front of everyone else, they won't mind since you're buying Sudafed."

[DGoddessChardonnay]

That's brilliant. Right up there with an exchange I had with an ex-CW (and slight co-irker) at the wholesale club.

Him: "Hey, did ya miss me?"
J2K: "Yeah, but my aim's improving."

He burst out laughing.

And just today while I was up front checking on the cigarette supply, I heard this witty exchange between two of the cashiers and a regular customer:

Customer (to cashier Why ain't you married yet?

Cashier: I'm waiting on YOU

Customer: *sputters, drops his hat*

Cashier 2: Speechless now, aren't you? *to customer being checked out* He dropped his hat on that one.

Customer: I think I'm leaving on that one! *mad dash for the door*

All of us:

Me: Some men can't handle the heat.

[Totiono]

A few months back as I was walking by a giant fenced-in pond we have for flamingos a guest approached me and asked "What gift shop do I purchase a flamingo from? I really like 26!"

I didn't quite grasp the question and thought they were referring to stuffed animals so I pointed them in the direction of the nearest gift shop and said that they carry a variety of flamingo merchandise.

Turns out they thought the pond's purpose was so that you could pick out the flamingo of your choice according to their numbered ankle tag and purchase them to take home with you. Sometimes we have trainers "march" groups of flamingos across the park to other ponds and the guest apparently saw this and thought it our way of showing them off to increase sales, like how farmers show off pigs at auctions.

[drjonah]

One morning a guy walks up to the door, opens it and holds it open for a customer who is leaving with their purchases. Then proceeds to walk in and ask 'Are you guys open?'

[Ghel]

I have answered this call many times:

SC: How late are you open?
Me: 4:30.
SC: Oh, damn. I'm 15 minutes away. Can you stay open late so I can cash my check?

As if we wanted to stay late, especially on a Friday or before a holiday, which is when we usually get these calls.

[Food Lady]

I was working food and wearing a beige chiffon scarf over my hair in lieu of a hat (love that I can). Some guy asked in an accusing tone, "Is that a pantyhose on your head?" Really??

[Water]

I posted this story elsewhere in "sightings" (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...d.php?t=111231). I had someone ask me while I was taking a break if I wanted illegal drugs on mall property during mall hours. Seriously? He has to have big balls to ask me that.

[jedimaster91]

There is an exam we do that involves tagging some eggs with radiation and then tracking them as they make their way through the digestive system. The tracer binds to the proteins in the eggs and is literally just radioactive enough so our scanners can pick it up. Our tracers mimic substances your body uses anyway, so you're more likely to have a reaction to the eggs themselves than one of our tracers. They also have a half-life of about 6 hours, and for this particular exam, we don't see much of anything left at about 4 hours because the starting amount is so small. [/bkgrd]

Not long ago I did this exam on an inpatient. This guy was.....special to begin with. The next day he wandered down to my department to ask me (since I was the one who got stuck doing his exam) if it was a normal side effect from the test to have pain and swelling in his testicles. Um, no.

[dalesys]

...normal side effect from the test to have pain and swelling in his testicles. Um, no.

Just like this leemer, right? [NSFW, maybe]

[Dizazter]

<BG> I work in a freestanding building (sporting complex). At the front is a small grassy area, a city sidewalk and a 4 lane road. Parking lots on either side of building and a paved area behind building connecting them. The entrances are on the sides, directly across from each other (think shotgun house). <end BG>

We were having some work done on an outside drain pipe right outside one door, so we had that one blocked off temporarily. A group was just finishing up and I was outside smoking when one of the ladies that had been coming to this place literally longer than I have been alive... comes out the door, looks at me and says "How do I get to the other side of the building?" I'm sure I would have loved to have a picture of my face at that moment.

My boss laughed when I told him I almost told her to get on her broom and fly over. (She had a habit of being somewhat unpleasant.)

[Josh]

"Where do you keep the watch that when you shake it a screen pops up in the air?"

yes, this was a serious question.

[WishfulSpirit]

One morning a guy walks up to the door, opens it and holds it open for a customer who is leaving with their purchases. Then proceeds to walk in and ask 'Are you guys open?'

He might have been aware of how many people shop past closing time and was asking if you were closing now.

[Gilhelmi]

While in the Army, I was told to stealthily move large "Convoy Ahead" signs that go on lead vehicles. (BG: State side real world mission to transport munitions for the US government. Remember that the next time you see a military truck convoy. )

BC: Battalion Commander
CSM: Command Sargent Major

Company "B" had decided they did not need those signs and would "never" use them. Because they were too cool to follow the law (violating Federal Law, multiple States Law, and ARMY LAW). Yea, they never bought any.

Well the BC had to make sure they were legal to run, so he was forced to "permanently borrow" Company "A" signs (who were not running convoy missions) to keep the mission rolling (I suspect heads were also rolling at "B" when the BC got off the phone with their higher ups. ).

So he had new signs made to replace the old signs, but he wanted to keep them a surprise. (Surprise! the Army actually moved quickly on this one ) So I snuck 5'X2' signs across an empty parking lot while the BC and the CSM kept lookout for Company "A"s Commander and Staff NCOs.

[HawaiianShirts]

Worked for a pizza place while in high school. Had several customers ask to order pizza by the slice. If this was lunchtime, we could do it, because we had a warmer with at least four pre-made pizzas that we sold by the slice. If it was dinner, we couldn't, because everything was made to order.

Some lady just didn't get that and tried to order a large (16 inches, 12 slices) by the slice. As if I could top the pizza in 12 segments according to where it would be cut when it came out of the oven. Something like this...
SC: I'll have one slice with just pepperoni, two with pepperoni and mushrooms, one Supreme, one with Canadian bacon and pineapple--
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't make a pizza by the slice. I can do half-and-half or several small pizzas, if you'd like.
SC: Oh, okay. Make me a large. I'll have one slice with pepperoni, one Supreme, two--
Me: Excuse me, but I can't make a pizza by the slice.
SC: Oh, I understand. So let's make it a large. One slice pepperoni, one with Canadian bacon and--
Me: I can't DO that!

It went on like that for several rounds until she finally got frustrated and cancelled the order that I hadn't even started entering. If I recall correctly, somebody else called from the same number later and ordered two half-and-half larges.

[XCashier]

SC: Oh, okay. Make me a large. I'll have one slice with pepperoni, one Supreme, two--
Me: Excuse me, but I can't make a pizza by the slice.
SC: Oh, I understand. So let's make it a large. One slice pepperoni, one with Canadian bacon and--

"Apparently you don't understand." What part of "no" doesn't she get? Was she even listening? (Obviously not. )

Suggest she try making it that way herself, then it might sink into her concrete skull that it cannot be done.