At Merry old England base we had a US Post Office. The Postal clerks were the laziest lot I have ever seen. There was 3 of them to run a post office smaller than a studio apartment in NY. They worked from 8 to 11 and 1300 to 1530 (Yep only 5.5 hours a day) No weekends and never stood watch. (In case there was a postal emergency) The Queen Bee (QB for short) was a well entitled Blue Falcon. One day my Supervisor (same rank as her) we will call him Epic goes to pick up his mail. Now due to their two hour lunch Epic had to take time out of his work schedule to go pick up his mail. This was a common fight with QB over the working hours. Well Epic goes in gets his mail from the 2 drones and then walks out. QB comes running after him and demands he thank her and the drones for giving him his mail. He gives her the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and demands to know why he should be so thankful for people that make his and everyone else’s life miserable by only working 5.5 hours a day and act like there giving you a kidney when you can get them to do any work.
Well he heads back to the Shop. By the time he had gotten back QB had called the number three of the Top Base Triad (Her BFF) The BFF called the Shop top dog who jumped Epic the moment he walked in the door. Epic told the Shop Top Dog to stay in his lane and that BFF can to, this was the AOR of the Junior Enlisted.
He turned to the 6 Network Admins sitting on the network floor and said “Destroy her”
So we did! First we photo shopped an image of a Unicorn with Rainbows and the word Thank You all over it. Then we made several Wave files with the word Thank You in different tones attributes. (Husky Thank you voice, Sweet, robotic, Sarcastic, ect) then we remoted in to Her computer. Set the photo as her back ground, Set the Wave files as default noises for all key strokes, mouse clicks, error beeps, ect, Then added a Fire Wall and Black hole to her system so she could not go to any web site that did not end in .mil or.gov (no more online shopping) Locked out all her user permissions so she could not change anything, set user time restrictions in place and did a few nastier things I won’t get into then rebooted.
Then we waited took a whole 10 Minutes and Epic answered the phone.
QB: WTF did you do to my Computer
Epic: Meeee? I haven’t done anything is there a problem.
QB: Nothing works and I don’t have any permissions and it keeps saying Thank You.
Epic: Can you get to email?
QB: Yes
Epic: Can you get to .mil and .gov site to work?
QB: Yes
Epic: Sounds like its working just fine .. oh and thank you :::Click:::
We let her stew for a week BFF tried to get involved but we just acted like we couldn’t figure out the problem. As it was a small command Top of the Triad found out had a laugh told us to fix it and told QB to be open 8 hours a day 5 days a week and 4 hours on Saturday.
Well he heads back to the Shop. By the time he had gotten back QB had called the number three of the Top Base Triad (Her BFF) The BFF called the Shop top dog who jumped Epic the moment he walked in the door. Epic told the Shop Top Dog to stay in his lane and that BFF can to, this was the AOR of the Junior Enlisted.
He turned to the 6 Network Admins sitting on the network floor and said “Destroy her”
So we did! First we photo shopped an image of a Unicorn with Rainbows and the word Thank You all over it. Then we made several Wave files with the word Thank You in different tones attributes. (Husky Thank you voice, Sweet, robotic, Sarcastic, ect) then we remoted in to Her computer. Set the photo as her back ground, Set the Wave files as default noises for all key strokes, mouse clicks, error beeps, ect, Then added a Fire Wall and Black hole to her system so she could not go to any web site that did not end in .mil or.gov (no more online shopping) Locked out all her user permissions so she could not change anything, set user time restrictions in place and did a few nastier things I won’t get into then rebooted.
Then we waited took a whole 10 Minutes and Epic answered the phone.
QB: WTF did you do to my Computer
Epic: Meeee? I haven’t done anything is there a problem.
QB: Nothing works and I don’t have any permissions and it keeps saying Thank You.
Epic: Can you get to email?
QB: Yes
Epic: Can you get to .mil and .gov site to work?
QB: Yes
Epic: Sounds like its working just fine .. oh and thank you :::Click:::
We let her stew for a week BFF tried to get involved but we just acted like we couldn’t figure out the problem. As it was a small command Top of the Triad found out had a laugh told us to fix it and told QB to be open 8 hours a day 5 days a week and 4 hours on Saturday.
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