Honest Job Interview Answers....

[ArenaBoy]

Okay, we've all had to keep our thoughts to ourselves when it comes to interviewing a job but if you could give your honest answer to them what would they be? I ask this because after interviewing for a lot of jobs as of late a lot of questions are quite silly to me.

Here goes

Why did you apply here? Money, people have bills to pay. Do you think I'd be applying for this job if I didn't have to worry about bills, school, and food? NO WAY! I'd be living life to the fullest and watch as much soccer as possible if I didn't have to work.

What makes you think you are able to do this job? How about the fact that if I wasn't so desperate for cash that I'm willing to work my butt off just so I can survive?

In case of a confrontation what would you do? Defend myself. I say this because after having to put up with security at Whiskeyclone and the way they handled things I'm not willing to risk getting the crap kicked out of me by an angry madman wielding a giant beer bottle just because he doesn't like the fact that he has to pay a higher price for his beer.

Where do you see yourself in *Insert amount of time*? Hopefully away from you and in Italy living in Milan or England living near Chelsea's stadium. I can dream can't I?


Feel free to add.

[Kiwi]

Whats your worst characteristic?
Thinking that whom ever the chump was who came up with this question needs a sound kick in the arse? Or maybe Im just to uptight?

Where do you see youself in 5 years?
Bloody hell I do know, married to an insanely rich man who is old and travels ALOT for business, and Im living a competely shallow yet hedonistic life filled with shopping and being pampered while not having to lift a finger? Im 23, I dont know where I will be at the end of June let alone 5 years!

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Yes i always find the questions they ask very annoying. Here's the kind of answers I would give if i had my way (p.s. I'm a sarcastic bitch):

Why should we hire you? because I can bark like a seal, balance a stool on the end of my nose and do a striptease at the same time. Why in the hell do YOU think you should hire me?! Is this a taste of what I will experience as your employee, having to do your job for you? Trying to warn me, eh?

Why did you apply here? Well, I had a conversation with Edgar Cayce's ghost the other day whilst cleaning my crystal ball, and he told me to apply here. He also told me you're going to hire me at double my current pay, give me a nice corner office and let me surf the net all day while being paid.-----No really, the employment ad you put in craigslist this week had absolutely no bearing on my decision to apply, none at all!!!

How do you deal with confrontation? I usually nail their asses to the wall---literally. I never go anywhere without my trusty staple gun. Problems with sexual harassment at work? Lemme at 'em! I'll staple his scrotum to his thigh! No really, the other employees with be terrified of me within a week. Then I wont have to deal with confrontations, they'll just jump whenever I walk by!

Where do you see yourself in ten years? My ultimate goal is to be a member of the Manson family. I know it went out of style like 30 years ago, but I just love those marks on their foreheads. Squeaky Fromme is my hero!

[ArenaBoy]

Whats your worst characteristic?
Thinking that whom ever the chump was who came up with this question needs a sound kick in the arse? Or maybe Im just to uptight?

How could I forget this one? My answer: "I have a few of them: I hate stupid people beyond all reason. I'm also a very sarcastic asshole who condescends to stupid people for the hell of it.

Do you think you can get along with the workers here? How the hell should I be able to predict that? I haven't even met anyone besides you.

[AirHostess]

What is your worst charactaristic?

I hate customers!!!

[JustADude]

I found out a couple days ago, while getting some new windshield wipers before work, that Pep Boys was hiring and doing interviews THE NEXT DAY so I'd have to apply on-line that night as soon as I got back from work and call the manager the next morning to arrange a time. When I finally got home, I was so punch-drunk and tired I made the mistake of answering parts of the automated psych-screener in the app HONESTLY.

I'm not sure why I was rejected from going further, exactly, but here are my top picks for job-busters, phrased as best I can remember, and the possible answers. Mine are in bold:

Can you ever do too much for a customer?
No ----- Undecided ----- Yes
*Can we say 'Free replacement for a 5-year-old battery they got from WAL-MART?

If an employee is using illegal drugs and it isn't affecting their work, should they be left alone?
Completely Disagree - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 - Completely Agree
*Seriously, I don't care so long as they can do their jobs, they don't come to work reeking, and they perform up to spec.

How often in the past 24 months have you done something you felt was dishonest?
Enter a number: 1
*I count that telemarketing job as one act.

If your boss issues a new policy that you have a problem with, which are you most likely to do?
Confront them then and there ----- Talk about it with your co-workers but not your boss ----- Say nothing about your problems.
*Lessee, no option to approach the boss discretely at a later time and speak with them privately about my concerns, so I'm picking the only choice that might actually get something DONE about it.


Every other question I answered as perfectly as only someone whose mother let him study the answer keys to the National Social-Workers Association standard psych evals can answer them, so obviously they were looking for Good Little Drones, not someone with intelligence, an open mind, and the nice coat of jade that only comes with experience.

[ArenaBoy]

I'd rather have someone who is honest than someone who is willing to bullshit me to my face.

Sadly, a lot of companies don't want those types of people. They want people that they don't have to worry about making a big splash. The instance they see someone who is willing to stand up for themselves and challenge the status quo they don't hire the guy.


Also, I was actually asked this when I applied for Whiskeyclone.

Are you a Cheez-Whiz basketball fan? Good god no! I hate basketball. I'm a soccer fanatic who would skip a day of work just to watch a game. If it's the World Cup then things will be worse.

[Naaman]

I
Every other question I answered as perfectly as only someone whose mother let him study the answer keys to the National Social-Workers Association standard psych evals can answer them,

My most hated are the 'cheerful pseudo psych' questions

"What animal would you describe yourself as?" Koala bear

[justZu]

Why did you apply here? Money, people have bills to pay. Do you think I'd be applying for this job if I didn't have to worry about bills, school, and food? NO WAY! I'd be living life to the fullest and watch as much soccer as possible if I didn't have to work.

You sound just like my husband. He works because he has to, but out of work it is all soccer. He has the premium soccer channels and watches them all the time. When he's not watching soccer, he's playing it or coaching it. Good thing I love it, too.

[JustADude]

My most hated are the 'cheerful pseudo psych' questions

"What animal would you describe yourself as?" Koala bear

Not those kinds of questions here. These were are the 'are they really psycho, or just faking', security-clearance job screening, etc tests. Ones that self-correct for people trying to BS their way through.

For example, the correct answer to 'Have you ever told a lie? Yes or No' is 'Yes'. EVERYONE has lied at some-point, even if it's just making someone feel better about a bad hair-cut, and admitting it means you're honest enough to own up to it and you're not just saying what you think they want to hear.

Oh, and I'd have to say St.Bernard.

[Ms. Pounce]

My most hated are the 'cheerful pseudo psych' questions

"What animal would you describe yourself as?" Koala bear

I've gotten that one, and have a carefully worded answer memorized in case I *EVER* come across it again. >_<

Gwad I hate those....

And this one... I've gotten it twice in my past series of interviews...

"Give me an example of when you made an unpopular decision, and explain why you made the decision?"

UM -- WTF?!

(If anyone knows how to answer that, please let me know. My manager is bound to ask that godforsaken question again.

[TNT]

The places that have hired me since I've stopped bullshitting in interviews have all been AWESOME to their employees.

We've a woman who occasionally came to our call center to do some trainings. I was totally impressed by her... she was the most bullshit-free person I'd ever met. Others who were considerably more jaded than I am were equally impressed... one of them said, "Could you imagine working for her? None of the corporate 'we've got to follow procedures' crap... with her it would be 'get the job done right... we can deal with the details later.'"

A new job opened up and I applied for it. I went for my interview with the person who would be my supervisor if I got the job. And guess who that was? During the interview, I felt comfortable enough to say exactly what I wanted to say.

I start the job next week. I don't know what the future holds, but it looks very bright. I think her and I can do business.

[Cyanocobalamin]

Re: Animal question

I've gotten that one, and have a carefully worded answer memorized in case I *EVER* come across it again. >_<

Do tell!

For me, I suppose my answer would be "erm.... Homo sapiens."

A couple weeks ago I applied to a store that gave me one of those psychological tests. As much as I tried to answer the way they wanted (ie, the 'correct' answers) I found myself simply being honest

Gee, I wonder why they didn't ever call me for an interview and didn't even have a phone call returned asking about the status of my application

[Killer Bees]

Why did you apply for this job?
Because the agency sent me and I need the money.

Why Should We Hire You?
Because I actually have a good work ethic and you won't have to worry about me coming in with a shot gun and blowing away annoying co-workers. Well, not within the first six months anyway

Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years Time?
Swapping places with Tori Amos and living her life instead of mine.

How Do You Deal with Stressful Situations?
I scream and yell obscenities at the people who stressed me out and booby trap their computers. Then I go to the pub and get rat faced until I feel better

What Kind Of Person Would Your Friends Say You Are
A really nice one if they know what's good for them.

Tell Us One Instance Where You Went Above And Beyond The Call Of Duty For a Customer
Never did that! And even if I did, I don't remember because as soon as I walk out the door, this job ceases to exist to me until the following morning.

[DarthRetard]

The one im not fond of is "What Pay Salary Do You Require?" before you even know if you're hired or whatever.....damn that pisses me off. Haysuess Kreesto....


My other favorite....Why did you leave your previous job?

This one always gets a smartass answer, period. It always works too.

Sir, I left because I felt I was being overpaid. I'm feeling spoiled that you're even giving me 401k and healthcare. Just promise me you'll let me work long hours with little pay.


Never fails, they love it.