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THOSE RIDICULOUS LITTLE PRE-EMPLOYMENT TESTS!
I always love when you start a new job and they have some ridiculous new "TEST" they have you take that is going to give them some insight as to who you truly are and hopefully save them from some terrible hiring mistake, or worse, a thief! Basically, all these tests REALLY do is fill in for managers who are mediocre at best. If you are a manager of any reasonable common sense or worthwhile caliber, you do not need these ridiculous things. You can usually ask the right questions and decipher enough from a resume and application to know when someone is blowing smoke up your ass.
But companies spend millions on these things that are supposed to be some magic something. I have never found them to be anything more than a complete waste of my managerial time. And the one thing I have noticed above all, your most honest individuals, will fail miserably! These things are not designed for honesty. It is the scammer, and thus, the person we are ideally trying to keep out that can pass with flying colors. Why do you think that 80% of theft from companies is internal???? The bastards passed the "TEST"!
One major grocery chain I worked at utilized these wonderful things and had a policy that once we conducted an actual interview, we were bound to administer the test, even if we did not feel we were going to hire them. They feel that if they pass the test, maybe the manager should take a second look.
So I interviewed this 17 year-old girl for a courtesy clerk position. I don't go through the typical BS questions. People rehearse them. I read a resume' or application ahead of time and when an applicant comes in....we just chat. So I told her to just tell me about herself.
WHOA!!!! Should have stopped her at the door. She informed me that she had just come out of rehab and was only there because her parents were making her get a job. She owed them restitution since she stole from them to buy her crack and they had her arrested. She explained that she was trying to stay clean and could "probably " pass the drug test. She could only work every other weekend and her dad had to pick her up every shift so her work schedule and his would have to match.
Now this obviously sounds like she is purposely trying to throw the interview and I wish I could end it all here.....but....company rules.... ENTER THE TEST! I call in the results and there is such hysterical laughter on the other end of the phone. The operater just can't stop. When she finally starts to breathe, she gives me this girl's score: 4 out of 200 and proceedes to say it is the lowest she has ever seen. The girl admits to:
Physically assaulting her co-worker, stealing cash from another job, using drugs on the job, drinking on the job, using cocaine that day, smoking pot within the last 2 days, helping others steal from her employer, and just about every form of drug and alcohol abuse you can think of both at work and home, plus every conceivable horrendous thing you can imagine.
Companies, I beg of you, quit making people take these stupid ass things. I knew long before she took the test she was a nut. Train your managers better and quit asking the stupid questions. I know that it almost makes me want to just fill one of them out by drawing a picture or something and see if it will give me a high enough score to get hired.
But companies spend millions on these things that are supposed to be some magic something. I have never found them to be anything more than a complete waste of my managerial time. And the one thing I have noticed above all, your most honest individuals, will fail miserably! These things are not designed for honesty. It is the scammer, and thus, the person we are ideally trying to keep out that can pass with flying colors. Why do you think that 80% of theft from companies is internal???? The bastards passed the "TEST"!
One major grocery chain I worked at utilized these wonderful things and had a policy that once we conducted an actual interview, we were bound to administer the test, even if we did not feel we were going to hire them. They feel that if they pass the test, maybe the manager should take a second look.
So I interviewed this 17 year-old girl for a courtesy clerk position. I don't go through the typical BS questions. People rehearse them. I read a resume' or application ahead of time and when an applicant comes in....we just chat. So I told her to just tell me about herself.
WHOA!!!! Should have stopped her at the door. She informed me that she had just come out of rehab and was only there because her parents were making her get a job. She owed them restitution since she stole from them to buy her crack and they had her arrested. She explained that she was trying to stay clean and could "probably " pass the drug test. She could only work every other weekend and her dad had to pick her up every shift so her work schedule and his would have to match.
Now this obviously sounds like she is purposely trying to throw the interview and I wish I could end it all here.....but....company rules.... ENTER THE TEST! I call in the results and there is such hysterical laughter on the other end of the phone. The operater just can't stop. When she finally starts to breathe, she gives me this girl's score: 4 out of 200 and proceedes to say it is the lowest she has ever seen. The girl admits to:
Physically assaulting her co-worker, stealing cash from another job, using drugs on the job, drinking on the job, using cocaine that day, smoking pot within the last 2 days, helping others steal from her employer, and just about every form of drug and alcohol abuse you can think of both at work and home, plus every conceivable horrendous thing you can imagine.
Companies, I beg of you, quit making people take these stupid ass things. I knew long before she took the test she was a nut. Train your managers better and quit asking the stupid questions. I know that it almost makes me want to just fill one of them out by drawing a picture or something and see if it will give me a high enough score to get hired.
(not saying that they are out to rip you off- they're not (well maybe some are). but in sales, especially cell phone sales, you have to play the sales game...I hate playing games)
I told them I couldn't understand how or why I failed..... of course it was an early morning interview and I kept falling asleep during the test.....LOL. But other than not answering "the customer is always right" with a yes answer, I think I gave really good answers....
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