Shoe dropping already (New job woes)

[Horsetuna]

Well, I had started orientation at a large hardware store last weekend... I went through orientation, I was SO excited and nervous to get on the phones!

So I Get on the phones... yeah, a few problems but I was catching most. I even wrote down notes to help me along.

On friday, something happened, I dont wanna talk about it, but it was trivial. BUT, in my nature, I had a panick attack and was sick, and couldnt go to work.

Then, I went in to work in a rather sour mood on saturday. On top of that, I had messed up my punches earlier that week, so I had to go get them fixed (And when you miss a punch you get a demerit point! I missed LOTS). And I also had a cold sore, so eating, drinking, and even talking on the phone (Which was my job) was hard.

So yeah, I was a little at ends at work, but I got it done.

Today, my friend who got me the job there IMed me, saying that people were teling her I had an 'attitude' and other troubling stuff.

Well, I lost it. I had another breakdown. I was crying at the computer, and even now, six hours later my heart is racing and I feel sick. I just dont know what to do.

The boss will talk to me on wednesday, when I go in next.

I'm just in a panick. I /know/ I'm going to break down in front of her... I need this job desperately. My part time job, which I was full time at till recently, doesnt pay enough to live comfortably. I /need/ this job. I am confused, baffled.. i know I was grouchy saturday but really....

Can they really judge me already in my first week?

God, I hate the world. I just can NEVER seem to keep a good paying job... and I've been jobhunting almost monthly since I came back to Calgary (september). I'mt ired of this. I'm sick of interview after interview. I LOVE working at this new job. Its fun, I can SIT DOWN and stuff....

But it seems I am cursed to NEVER keep a job I enjoy.

Why? What did I do to deserve this?

[powerboy]

I know how you feel. For months and months, I was doom to only having interviews no one actually hiring me. The job I have now, is because the main owners and I are friends, and they knew I was unemployed. You are not cursed, it just seems like it, but you are not. God works in mysterious ways.

[DrugstoreJulie]

No imo they can´t really judge you by your first week. I really hope they let you stay.

[Lyse]

I have a pretty big problem with anxiety and panic attacks, too. If you have documentation from a doctor, it might be useful to bring with you for your meeting on Wednesday. New jobs are an extremely stressful change, and can cause problems even if your anxiety is normally under control. Most places understand the pressure that people feel to make a perfect impression as they start off, and should realize that this could cause issues with stress and health.

I would just explain that you are not looking for preferential treatment; just the ability to prove yourself over a period of time - and the understanding that things that trigger problems in your first week will be non-issues by your fourth month.

I hope that they realize that judging a person based on such a short period of time actually doing the job would be extremely short-sighted of them.

Let us know how the meeting goes.

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I am irritable at the molecular level, today. The cristae of my
mitochondria are pissed off. My synaptic clefts are cross. My islets of
Langerhans have had it up to fucking here.

[COMINATCHA]

On friday, something happened, I dont wanna talk about it, but it was trivial. BUT, in my nature, I had a panick attack and was sick, and couldnt go to work.

If something affects you enough that you are feeling sick and can't go to work, then it can't be that trivial.

If you are having problems that affect your ability to work as well as you can, maybe seek out your boss first and have a chat to her? I don't know what it is that is wrong, and i'm not asking you to say, but sometimes if you let people know that not all is well, they will be more understanding of your moods.

It's not nice to hear that people are saying mean things behind your back, so I hope things get better for you *hugs*

[Horsetuna]

It was a game... I was upset over my character... its pretty trivial... I've gotten attacks over spilt milk.

Thank you for the support. I'm going to drown myself in chamomile tea to try and sedate myself to some point.

[Lyse]

It was a game... I was upset over my character... its pretty trivial... I've gotten attacks over spilt milk.

I'm going to let you in on something that it took me a couple of years to figure out:

If it affects you physically, then it is not "trivial" or unreasonable. The cause of the attack may be, but the attack itself is not. While it is going on, the issue with your game character takes on as much significance as a car crash.

I spent a lot of time berating myself for "letting" little things get to me like that. One of my friends pointed out that I dislike hearing her say things like "I know that I shouldn't be angry about this", and would tell her that there is no should or shouldn't when it comes to emotions; only inappropriate responses to those emotions. She said that she has the same reaction when I state that I should not allow myself to panic of little things. If I had that kind of control over the problem, I wouldn't choose to panic at all.

Sorry if this is a little disjointed. I spent several years dealing with these problems on my own and trying to tell myself to "toughen up" and "what the hell was wrong with me". I just worry about others doing the same.

Did this make any sense?

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I was not _creating_ a disturbance, I was improving one already there.

[Horsetuna]

That is EXACTLY how I feel! Exactly! You wish you could stop it, you wish you could convince yoruself its 'just a game'... hell, I'm seriously considering hypnotherapy to see if I can get myself to stop taking it so seriously! Some people, even my friend, dont get it... My own friend who works there threatened to tell them why I missed work on Saturday (over a 'silly game').

[Kiwi]

I've gotten attacks over spilt milk

one of my triggers is teaspoons in the sink... its not the actual teaspoon, its that loss of control, its the fact now I have to rinse off the teaspoon then get a new clean sponge, run the hot water, apply soap and scrub that sink clean then rinse it then rinse sponge and on and on and on.

And of course now water spots are everywhere no matter how careful I am so I have to wipe them up. It makes no logical sence to get upset over a teaspoon in the sink but it just gets me everytime. What you have to do is try your best to calm yourself down internally.

I had thearpy for panic attacks, ive read many books on it and even then its still a struggle (I had one tonight because a freckle has come up on my lip suddenly) so now its the end of the world and im dying and on and on and on. You just have to work through them as tough and as shitty as they are.

Before your meeting, prepare for it, write down things so you can go in with a clear head of what you want to say. Try not to let yourself get worked up about it (haha easy to say right) and dont punish yourself for it. It doesnt make you weak, or a bad person or anything negative its just what you have to deal with.

Good luck for the meeting, keep us updated!

[Horsetuna]

Well, its not a meeting per-se, its probably a 'here is what you're doing wrong and what we need to work on'.

[Seshat]

There's a free Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course online that you can do, which might help with your anxiety problems.


http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/


It's run by the Australian National University, it's confidential, etc, etc, etc.


Obviously, the ideal thing is for you to get medical help, see a doctor, perhaps get supportive medication and a personally tailored program. But if you don't have a job and you're not in a country which provides supported or free medical care, you probably can't do that.

So .. give this a try. Worst it can do is be useless, and it might help!

[draftermatt]

Employers can and will judge you on your first week.

Did you tell them that you are prone to panic attacks? Do you have documentation of it from a doctor?

Well number 2 is most important because you should probably get youself looked at. However, if they don't know these things about you all they know is that you missed a day in your first week, and when you came back you were in a bad mood.

Sure you have a very valid reason, but unless they know about it...

I rarely get sick, but this year I did on my 3rd day at my new (PT) job. They looked at me quite funny when I came back, and apparently asked my friend (who got me the job) if I was coming back.

I was told a few weeks ago that I've stayed longer than any of them imagined I would.

First impressions are lasting.

But please, if such small things are throwing you for such a loop seek help.

[Rapscallion]

A guy at work put several things into perspective for me. I had a few emotional concerns at the time, some of them stemming from here, and he said that for once I wasn't appearing cheerful etc. I explained.

He gave me the kick up the arse I needed. He pointed out that he'd been in the armed forces and had seen three mates blown up in front of him in action.

It's just a game. Your job is the source of your ability to play the game. Remember your priorities and remember that it could be much, much worse.

Rapscallion

[wagegoth]

Definitely get help, but you might need to be careful if they start throwing medications at you. Have you tried Valerian Root? Try it on your day off (find the odorless kind).

When you meet with the boss, you don't necessarily have to tell him about the panic attacks, and you really need to make a point of trying to relax. Being a little nervous is okay, actually a good way to approach him. Tell him it's your first week, and you've been really nervous, and you're sorry that it may have spilled over, but you really like the job and think it could be a good fit for you once you're up to speed, and you hope he'll give you the chance to learn and relax into the position.

Don't try to cover-up. If you start getting nervous, and you talk too much when you're nervous, then shut your mouth. Be polite, a bit eager, friendly, smiley. Don't over-explain. Thank him for the opportunity he's given you to have this great job.

BTW, I have chronic depression and Asperger's Syndrome, a real double whammy. Therapy sometimes helps a bit, medication has caused a lot of problems (I've tried nearly every one on the market) so I can't take it. I started to break down in a meeting with HR and my supervisor one time, and it was a friendly meeting, I just got really stressed. I knew they were happy with me and my work, so I felt comfortable telling them about my chronic depression. They were actually impressed that I managed things so well, considering my condition.

But since this is a new job, you might want to keep the panic attacks secret, at least for now. Attribute your problems to nervousness with the new job. Ask him if there's anything you can do to improve things, but only if he tells you there are complaints. Tell him how much you want to succeed, and that you hope he can be a resource for you [if you think he's comfortable with that].

And, sometimes, you have to "cowboy up." It isn't easy, but getting into the habit of pushing yourself through something can help you deal with it better in the future.

One thing that has been really helpful was taking some drama classes. I can put on a persona, instead of me, when I need to deal with stressful situations, including meetings. It also forces you to cut through stage fright and move forward.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

[Andara Bledin]

I think, were I to be in such a situation, that I would want to have a discussion with my boss and let them know that the stress of the new position and trying to make a good impression was giving me a little trouble and that once I was settled into the job, I would be more stable.

Of course, I have to admit I have no experience like what you have. I'm actually the opposite, in most cases. I was actually let go from a job because I didn't not appear to be properly hysterical over a minor internal mistake I had made.

^-.-^