Shoe dropping already (New job woes)

[Horsetuna]

Ree: I did PM her, yes. And yes, I did call them, although I didnt have long to call since I was up since 7 am to 10 pm, on various buses going to the post office and bank and stuff so I can pay bills. I left messages though :P PS: The reason I dont call immediately when remembering is I work noon to 9, I get home at 10pm... while there's emergency numbers available, to make an appt most of the time you call during regular business hours.


Others: I'll look up the memory quiz stuff in a moment, once the computer unlocks.

Vitamins: Just bought some today, along with lactaid! Couldnt' find any Rescue Remedy though... Also picked up me pescription for Paxil.

GP's are hard to find outside of walk-in clinic ones, but I will shop around and see what I can find, for both the eval and such.

Re: ginseng. If its a blood thinner I probably want to avoid it. I have a naturally low (slightly before average but not anemic) blood pressure. I have been drinking chamomile tea and ginger tea.

I'll have to see sadly about the B vitamins next payday though... I only have food money and emergency money now, after bills suck it all up. I think I have a good start.

The fridge: Would putting it on my computer background work? I think I see it more than i look at the fridge door (The magnets always fall off when I slam the door anyways).

Thank you all for your ideas. I'll be making a list and saving it on the computer, as well as writing it out...

So far:

Call clinic, get in to see doctor I saw last time... see if he can get me in for a psych exam/physical. They recently did blood tests on me ( I forget for what. I had to fast 12 hours though), didnt find any.

Shop around for a GP. I can probably ask at the Clinic too.

Call mental health places (I can use the 211 which is the local 24 hour nurse-hotline, to get the numbers again.).

Get more active, out of the house (Doing that currently - I got into the SCA plus I want to start warhammering again.)

Justadude: More fish? Hmm. Well, I /do/ have to go shopping this week... monday after work I believe will be shopping day ( I like shopping after work, just in case it takes longer than I expect). I'll see what they have for fish. As for sleep, I find if I get more than a certain amount, I can't get up... I found 6 hours fully sleep, then catnapping for an hour (Ie, hitting the snooze button until the next hour rings in) does me for the day. I /am/ trying to get up earlier and get to bed ear4lier though, so I can have a fuller breakfast.


I think this is a start. I just have to stick to it.

PS - it is a memory problem. I came home today and found Mimi out of her cage! Unless she figured out how to open it, I forgot to put her in her cage when I went to work!

[Ree]

Good for you.
Now that's taking a step to helping yourself.

Like I said, I didn't want to seem like I was nagging, but you really do deserve to be happy, and I could tell from your post that you aren't.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'm a little late to the game here, but I wanted to comment.

I haven't had a true panic attack in quite a while now, but I used to get them fairly frequently. My first one happened at work, and ended in them calling my dad and him taking me to the hospital. They found nothing wrong but they didn't say anything about panic attacks; I figured out later that's what it must have been.

I have associated them, early on at least, with nuts (especially peanuts). The smell of peanut butter used to be enough to set me off. It still produces some anxiety but I don't freak out completely anymore. I still won't touch them, even in a sealed package if I can help it, and I read labels for nut warnings on everything I buy, and even look for nut oils in skin care products. There are other things that can get me going, but that's probably the biggest.

For a while I took Xanax, which really helped. It works quickly, within 15-20 minutes, usually; my doc prescribed it along with Paxil, initially, since Paxil can take several weeks to really kick in. If you are having a lot of anxiety you might consider asking your doctor about it. (Though apparently it can be addictive; I had no such problems, but be careful if you do try it.) I take Effexor now, which kicked in within 2 weeks, and I've been on it 4 years, now. The side effects can be more pronounced, though, than with longer-acting drugs (but they only lasted a week or so; now I only feel them if I forget to take it for a day).

I have a book called Don't Panic by R. Reid Wilson, that I found helpful. More than anything it made me realize that what I was feeling was not uncommon and I wasn't dying.

A little trick I developed when I felt a panic attack coming on: cup your hands over your nose and mouth and take slow, deep breaths. Same principle as breathing into a paper bag, no bag required. Helps calm the hyperventilation. (Also helped to block out the smells that tended to set me off.) One "side effect" - I have developed a habit of putting my hand over my mouth and my dad always yells at me

I have MoodGym bookmarked on my computer; I read about it in a magazine a while back. I think I might have to check it out further.

[Horsetuna]

Actually I think I had Dont Panic at one time. My old doctor in the other city lent it to me. I laughed because I was reading HItchiker's Guide to the Galaxy at the time, and the doc was english.

I'm on PAxil now too... I feel like I have the flu and my jaw aches from yawning. Hopefully it fades quickly.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Actually I think I had Dont Panic at one time. My old doctor in the other city lent it to me. I laughed because I was reading HItchiker's Guide to the Galaxy at the time, and the doc was english.

I'm on PAxil now too... I feel like I have the flu and my jaw aches from yawning. Hopefully it fades quickly.

hehehe...when I started Effexor I felt like I was drunk. And if I yawned or turned my head too fast I'd get even more dizzy and almost fell over a few times. Luckily my doc warned me about that and I was able to tell my managers that I was starting a medicine that might affect me like that so they wouldn't think I was drinking on the job

[tollbaby]

Obviously, the ideal thing is for you to get medical help, see a doctor, perhaps get supportive medication and a personally tailored program. But if you don't have a job and you're not in a country which provides supported or free medical care, you probably can't do that.

So .. give this a try. Worst it can do is be useless, and it might help!

On the plus side, HorseTuna lives in Canada, and thus there IS free access to medical care, etc.

HT, not to be flippant, but USE it. Please get some counselling/therapy... it may seem trivial to others, but it's affecting your ability to function normally at work, and if they don't see you trying to help yourself out of the rut, they very well might let you go.

Sorry.... I had responded before reading through the entire thread. Horsetuna, I'm VERY glad you're moving towards getting some help You just need to keep it in the top of the priority list!

For those who jumped on the whole "Suck it up" thing.... I didn't see a single comment that said "Gee, HT, suck it up already"... I did see some people saying "own your behavior and your problems, and if you're not happy, DO something about it." THat is often the kick in the pants needed when someone is in a panic and feeling sorry for themselves. If you don't know HOW to go about looking for help, ASK Many of us here would be more than willing to do the few minutes' research to find the resources you're looking for. We're not a heartless bunch of lynchers, everyone who responded to this thread did have the same motivation - to help HT find some help so that her (her? his? I've got to confess, I haven't been paying attention enough to sort that out) job wouldn't be in jeopardy I have mental health issues (Asperger's - yes, I've finally gotten an official diagnosis - and some pretty weird OCD/social anxiety issues) but I take responsibility for it. When I become furious over the stupidest little things during *that* time of the month, I usually step away from whatever's angering me and tell my kids or whoever it is that I'm a bit irrational due to hormones and I need to step off to calm myself down (the boyfriend REALLY appreciates that, let me tell you - prevents any number of fights).

I'll stop talking/typing now.