Corporate speak

[JustADude]

I'll sign up to be Henchmen for ya. Although I may have to start as a Minion till I get the hang of your operation.

Heh. It's simple, really. I'd have started it already if there wasn't already one in the area. Basically, a shop dealing strictly in vintage stuff (80's toys, classic video games, etc) and import items like anime, wall scrolls, etc. Trust me, you'd fit right in!

I'll take henchman, with an option on trusted lieutenant?

Sorry, Trusted Lieutenant goes only to my best friend and blood-brother, if he hasn't gone off to teach English in Japan by the time this opens.

At West I was a "Marketing Representitive" Care to guess what I really was?

Um, telemarketer?

[Broomjockey]

Sorry, Trusted Lieutenant goes only to my best friend and blood-brother, if he hasn't gone off to teach English in Japan by the time this opens.

Ah, it's cool. Can't blame a guy for trying though!
Heh, how about untrusted lieutenant?

[CancelMyService]

My company insists that calls should be renamed "interactions", which causes some funny moments when supervisors and/or upper management have to noticibly pause to make sure they don't say the "c-word" around newbies. Also I think TNT might work for the part of the company that's the bane of my existence: those who send me the weekly reminders of all the stuff I f'ed up

I find terms like "Team Member" somewhat insulting, as you're trying to make the staff feel better by giving them a spiffy sounding job title rather than actually improving the quality of their working environment/pay/etc.

[JustADude]

Ah, it's cool. Can't blame a guy for trying though!
Heh, how about untrusted lieutenant?

What, you mean you actually WANT me to walk you into a room lined with plastic, nail you in the back of the head with an over-chronied paint-ball marker, and tell you you're fired and to never come back?


If that's what floats your boat...

[Broomjockey]

What, you mean you actually WANT me to walk you into a room lined with plastic, nail you in the back of the head with an over-chronied paint-ball marker, and tell you you're fired and to never come back?


If that's what floats your boat...

Hmm, that sounds kinda painful. Maybe lieutenancy just isn't for me. How's about I get to be the guy to hand you the paintball marker when you do that to people? I'll work cheap, as long as you let me tape it...

[JustADude]

Hmm, that sounds kinda painful. Maybe lieutenancy just isn't for me. How's about I get to be the guy to hand you the paint-ball marker when you do that to people? I'll work cheap, as long as you let me tape it...

That'd be Henchman right there. Heck, I'd even let you be the one to pull the trigger so I could film part of it from inside the room.


We now return you to your regularly scheduled topic...

[DannyboyO1]

Ahh, jargon. At US Cellular...

Supervisors > Coaches

Like anybody else, outside the workplace, I'd call 'em as I saw 'em. And I wouldn't try telling anybody who didn't know my job that I was a "Customer Service Representative". I told my grandmother I was a "phone jockey". It's a descriptive term. Says I'm on the phones the whole time.

I like descriptive terms. Janitors and trashmen aren't "Sanitation engineers". The guy who designed the machines in use at the sewage treatment plant and has a few degrees... that's a sanitation engineer.

Changing the name doesn't change the situation. If I'm the lowest rung on the ladder, it doesn't matter if you call me a pope or a peon, team member or teamster... I'm still the guy that is asked to stick to someone else's bad decision and heaven help me if I go against the superior's wishes... whether I've been informed of them today or not.

I never quite got "Customer Service Representative" I represent Customer Service? What, I advocate it? Maybe it's a gang thing. Am I supposed to signify as well as represent? Should I be flashing gang signs specific to my company? Or maybe I was elected to the House while I wasn't looking. Really, if you haven't realized by now what a meaning phrase "Customer Service" is to begin with... you've forgotten that it is the cornerstone of ALL business. Giving customers what they want, in exchange for money, so they'll do it again.

Plus, there are risks when you change names. You change things associated with them. MCI didn't like to call their per-line charge that, people wouldn't agree to it. So it was filed under taxes and fees as some sort of "fee". Then the courts said "F you." and they switched it back. But for a time, they could say with a straight face "No per-line charge."

Presidents can't declare war. But if you call the invasion a police action...

Names have meaning, and power. Language is a weapon. Use with caution. And consider applying a warning sticker to Webster's.

[TNT]

Also I think TNT might work for the part of the company that's the bane of my existence: those who send me the weekly reminders of all the stuff I f'ed up

Hence the reason I'm known as the "Prince of Darkness" by some of the people in the call center. Hearing from me is never good news...

[Dips]

I love when people think dressing things up with fancy words is going to fool anyone.

The sponsors of one of the trade shows we attended last year decided to move the vendor exhibit into a tent in the parking lot next year.

It was most amusing how the words "tent" and "parking lot" were conspicuously absent from all the handouts and brochures describing these wonderous new digs we were expected to pay a few thousand for the privilege of setting up a booth.

Instead words like "flexible structure," "adjacent pavillion," and "climate-controlled dome" showed up.

Call it whatever you want. It's a tent in the parking lot and we don't plan to purchase a booth in it.