This isn't Hooters!

[CherryCokeKissez]

This guy really isn't a SC (or wasn't until I found this out a couple of days ago) other than the fact that you can smell him several tables over because he's got some serious B.O. Thus our name for him, Stinky Guy, original I know. Other than that, he's never caused a fuss. He's always by him self, dresses all in black (even in the summer time, right now, we're gettings temps over a hundred), has really thick lenses in his glasses, and his hair is always like combed to one side and pasted to the side of his head. He's quiet, never any trouble to wait on (aside from smell, some can handle it better than others), and he's not needy or demanding. I've even seen him outside the restauraunt at his work, he works at Wal Mart. But I'm not the only one who's seen him outside the restaurant, one of our servers has too.

T said that she's seen him working at Pep Boys (a car place) and started up a conversation with him there. Apparently, he goes to our restaurant to "watch the girls" and what creeps me out the most "especially the hostesses." He went on to say (according to what T told me) that he knows he could "never have them" but he likes to look anyway. She asked him if he knew that most of the hostesses were under 18 and he thought for a moment and said "yeah" and he still liked to look anyway.

Besides being totally grossed out because I'm one of the hostesses, I'm wondering if he would a) be justified in banning him from the restaurant (although, he could find other restaurants to go do the same thing) and b) be the type to eventually go from casual on-looker to something worse (especially if provoked like say, being kicked out). DF said I should look him up on sexoffender.com or whatever the site is, but I don't know his name and I think he always pays with cash so we can't get his name from a credit card receipt.

Yeah, we're used to being hit on all the time, but that's by drunks and some of the hostesses ask for it by wearing low cut and revealing shirts (they're old enough to know better, too young to not like it, despite what I try to tell them). But this guy is coming in every week to watch girls that he knows he could never have. That just sounds like the beginnings of a stalker/raper to me. I dunno, maybe I've been watching too much CSI...

[air914]

Sounds creepy to me - I'd keep a close eye on him.......

[South Texan]

His first name isn't "Mike" and his last initial "H" by any chance?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I understand this is kind of sad, creepy behavior, but it isnt' illegal. Men like to look, and unattractive geek boys like to look, too. Likely, he's lonely. As long as all he's doing is looking, I wouldn't worry about it.

Certainly keep in mind to be alert to more sinister behavior, but there are a lot of very lonely people in the world. This is probably his only way of simply connecting with girls. Pathetic, but so far, harmless.

Not saying he is not potentially dangerous, but right now, you got nothing. I'd go on as if nothing has changed because really, nothing has.

Sure, he's a creepy guy. But there are plenty of creepy guys who come in there, most who you aren't even aware of. Don't spend your time obsessing over this one while three more you DON'T recognize are sneaking around after you in the parking lot.

My point? Be careful of EVERYONE. Not just the ones you think look creepy. Trust your instincts. And keep your customers at a safe distance, be they creepy or not.

[toolbert]

If I were you I would just watch his behaviour and if it starts to make you feel more uncomfortable then I'd have the owner/manager on duty have a talk with him about his habits. I also think Reco's point is spot on. He could actually be a really cool guy, while that normal seeming guy is really the creep. Just becareful of your surroundings ^.^

[FastFoodFlunky]

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

There are many perverts in the world, and simply because this guy admitted to his perverted mindset doesn't justify banning him from the place. Like you said, he gives no other hassle other than having B.O. If the females working the place really are that attractive, I'd bet a good majority of the other males that dine in the restaurant are there partially for the same reason - to observe.

I'd wait until he does something specifically to make you feel uncomfortable before you speak to upper management about him. In the meantime, just accept that he is a lonely man, and try to forget his reasons for being there.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

At this point, we don't even have a reason to think he's any more a pervert than anyone else. He's a man who likes to look at attractive girls and women. All men like to look at those they consider attractive. The difference with this guy is that he's totally honest about it.

[Tria]

His first name isn't "Mike" and his last initial "H" by any chance?

Off topic.... But I knew a Mike H. once.... Harmless sweetie in a wheelchair. Dirty minded as me, hard to believe.

[Barefootgirl]

Well I wasn't going to say that you've probably been watching too much TV, but since you mentioned it...

The dangerous creeps are NOT the guys who admit to it. If he was really planning on stalking the waitresses, its hugely unlikely that he'd have admitted that he was attracted to them and came there just to watch them.

He simply sounds like a sad, lonely guy with few social skills who likes to look at pretty girls. If he was stunningly good-looking and came in every day just to quietly watch the hostesses while he ate, would anyone object to that? I doubt it some how.

Take RecoiveringKinkoid's advice to heart. While everyone is fluttering around worrying about StinkyGuy, there may well be a REAL dangerous guy, who doesn't smell and wears ordinary clothes, biding his time in the corner.

[wagegoth]

It was the ordinary, everyday guys that gave me the most trouble. Usually, the quiet, weird guys left me alone (not to say that might not change).

Really, watch for the ones that hang out longer than necessary, especially on a regular basis. Do they just stay around the building or parking lot for no reason? Do they joke with the hostesses or waitresses in a way that might cause the girl to reveal personal information? Asking about boyfriends, family, or housing situations? Making innocuous comments about the girl's appearance, that, each visit, ratchet up a bit? Touching the girl lightly on the arm, and then that increases?

It comes down to an increase or acceleration of behavior. It means they're getting comfortable, sizing up the situation, adjusting the girl's attitude so she doesn't view them as a risk, but just a regular nice customer.

Okay, sorry to freak everyone out, but it's a been there, done that, made it out.

[South Texan]

Off topic.... But I knew a Mike H. once.... Harmless sweetie in a wheelchair. Dirty minded as me, hard to believe.

For those who may be newer to CS, Mike H. was an infamous poster on Planet Feedback who wrote many letters objecting to almost everything on television. Most of us had a picture of him as a fat, nerdy, loner type who lived in his mother's basement and watched TV for hours. We wondered whether his vocal protests really were a cover for his own perverted thoughts caused by seeing women in skimpy clothing, etc.

He once mentioned that he worked at Wally World, so I thought it would be funny if this guy turned out to be Mike H.

[CherryCokeKissez]

At this point, we don't even have a reason to think he's any more a pervert than anyone else. He's a man who likes to look at attractive girls and women. All men like to look at those they consider attractive. The difference with this guy is that he's totally honest about it.

I'm not too worried about this guy, since he's been a regular for some time and caused no trouble, and as you said, he is honest about where he's looking. The really bad ones aren't. I still say that we're not a Hooters though...

Believe me, I do keep a close watch on anyone acting suspicious. All of my hostesses know that if they are made to feel uncomfortable in any way they are to tell a manager or tell me and I'll tell a manager and we'll get it taken care of. But we have at least one hostess who isn't the brightest bulb and likes any kind of attention, even if it might be potentially bad.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, the dim bulb waitress will just have to learn the hard way, and she probably will.

If she's an adult, don't worry about her. She's a grown up and you are only responsible to her to a point.

[Canarr]

Like it's been said, I wouldn't worry about that guy overly much. Looking at attractive females is a typical, male behavior, and his "confession" may be nothing more than simply an indication that he prefers your restaurant over others because of the attractive female staff. And if your entire female staff - especially the hostesses - is very attractive, I'd venture the guess that this probably isn't a coincidence, but that there's something like a plan behind it: employing attractive staff in order to increase the number of customers isn't exactly a new prospect, and one can hardly blame the guy just because it worked on him.

Try asking yourself: would you be equally "grossed out" if the guy was tall, blond, tanned, and good-looking, CherryCokeKissez?

On a sidenote: being attracted to a well-built, attractive girl under 18 is *not* a sign of being perverted, since we're not talking about a guy watching 10-year-olds on the playground. But looking at 16-/17-year-olds working at a restaurant (I assume none of your staff are younger than 16?) hardly reveals a "perverted mindset", as FastFoodFlunky called it. It merely reveals him as being a typical, maybe overly lonely male.

Men look at attractive women. Women look at attractive men. It's what we do. Some go more out of their way to do so than others, but it's still entirely normal behavior (until we're talking about hiding in bushes with a camera).

My point is, don't do more to him/against him than you do with any other male customers. He's probably better than most in the regard that he won't try to hit on you, since he considers you out of his league already. But report him to management for admitting to something probably 80% of your male customers do? Leave the poor guy alone.

[Rapscallion]

Some good points there, Canarr, but if memory serves you're from Germany. I believe your age of consent is lower than ours in the UK, and ours is sixteen. The usual age of consent in the US is eighteen.

There's a different cultural slant.

Rapscallion