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The girl is 20 years old! Cut her some slack!

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  • #16
    If DH and I are going on vacation we call my parents and let them know when we leave and we call them again when we get to our destination. My parents do the same thing when they go on vacation and my brothers and sister do too. We do this as a safety thing.

    But the 20 years old's Dad freaking out because she's getting a ride from a guy friend is just ridiculous and pathetic.
    Figers are vicious I tell ya. They crawl up your leg and steal your belly button lint.

    I'm a case study.

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    • #17
      When I worked for Campus Safety (read: giving parking tickets in the college parking lot), this one woman came into the office literally screeching and out of breath that she had lost "her baby" and she couldn't find her. Literally, every few words out of her mouth was "my baby," some panting, some sweating and some words in a foreign language.

      All of the student security--all 4 of us-- were pulled off the lots to help the actual security guys look for, what we all expected to be, a baby. The woman was so incoherent they could hardly get a description out of her aside from brown hair, brown eyes, and a name.

      Later, we find out her baby is at home. How old was her baby? 19.

      Nine

      Fucking

      Teen.

      Apparently the kid either usually got a ride from a family member or took the bus home. That day she'd taken the bus home, and called her house to tell her family she was taking the bus home, but her mom wasn't home and showed up on campus and commenced to freak the hell out.

      Because she'd been hysterical, we actually thought a baby, as in 0 years old, had been abducted. We were all really pissed off.

      We did catch a couple people having sex in the library though. That was funny.

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      • #18
        I don't know what the situation with their home life is- but perhaps her parents know her better than you think? Perhaps there are reasons for their behavior?
        None of us know- maybe we never will.

        And if she's living in their house then it's still their rules. If she doesn't like it she needs to move out.

        Also, contrary to what some people seem to think- you NEVER stop being a parent. You can't turn it off- some people are better than others at controlling themselves though.

        When I'm 50 and my oldest is 30- he still going to be my kid. That will never change and I'll always have the Mom worry. I just happen to be one of the Mom's who can control myself.
        "I don't want any part of your crazy cult! I'm already a member of the public library and that's good enough for me, thanks!"

        ~TechSmith 314
        HellGate: London

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        • #19
          My parents tried to enact a curfew on me when I was 19/20. I had never needed one before, but suddenly needed one after I came home late one night after catching a late showing of American History X. Never mind that I had made the effort to call in saying that I was going to be late coming home and my brother just didn't relay the message to my parents.

          And they didn't want me driving back and forth to my then-boyfriend's house, so I just decided to spend the entire weekend and most of my fall and spring breaks at his house out of spite. I had invested a good amount of money fixing up and maintaining my car, which my parents never did. My parents constantly "borrowed" it and ran down the tank without filling it back up. And they called me "irresponsible" because I drove to his house after class on Friday instead of back home.

          Then there was the time my mom flat-out called me a liar when I told her I had a late class that didn't let out until 10 pm. That was the last straw. I handed her the phone and told her to call my professor to confirm it. Then I ripped into her, telling her that I was an adult and expected to be treated as one. And if she couldn't deal with that, I would be seeking out other living arrangements.

          I was sick of being under suspicion when I had done nothing to justify their being suspicious. I was a freaking loner in high school and my idea of a fun Friday night was sparring in taekwondo class. All I did most days was go to class, come home, eat, shower, study, and sleep. God forbid that I actually taste the fun of being an adult, *gasp* go out to dinner with a classmate, or *horror* spend the weekend having wild pig sex with my boyfriend (while on the pill), or *WTF* catch a late night movie that I've been wanting to see all freaking month.
          A smile is just a grimace that's been edited for public consumption. -- Tony Cochran

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          • #20
            if I was a bit late home without calling my parents would just take me to one side and say 'we were worried, please let us know if you'll be late'.
            I didn't move out till I was 20, as I couldn't afford to, but as long as I let them know where I was going and who with, they were ok with me staying out late, partying etc. They accepted- I'm a young woman, I'm going to want to go out, have fun, and am smart enough to look after myself.
            Deepak Chopra says, "Fear deprives people of choice. Fear shrinks the world into isolated, defensive enclaves. Fear spirals out of control. Fear makes everyday life seem clouded over with danger.

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            • #21
              Quoth NightAngel View Post
              Also, contrary to what some people seem to think- you NEVER stop being a parent. You can't turn it off- some people are better than others at controlling themselves though.

              When I'm 50 and my oldest is 30- he still going to be my kid. That will never change and I'll always have the Mom worry. I just happen to be one of the Mom's who can control myself.
              My mom is sometimes cool, sometimes not with me.

              I've been a responsible person since I was a kid. My goody two shoes personality is what led my brother to be a complete ass so that he could get attention because he didn't have the willpower to be better than I was.

              I can tell every parent out there reading this that nothing will push a child like me away faster than treating me like I'm not responsible. Especially when I'm the only adult out of a household of 4 that is actually paying the bills!

              Yeah... that's an issue with me....

              ^-.-^
              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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              • #22
                Stupid computer stuffs not working right, I SWEAR I added this thread to my subscribed list so I could get notified of any replies... and it didn't, so I consider it fishy and find out I have had three pages of replies. Anywho I have an update and some responses to what other people have been theorizing.

                The girl was not being irresponsible calling all of her friends, her friends were calling her because it was their first chance to talk to her after a day at work. She did call one of her friends but only to tell him to stop sending her text messages. The offer for a ride was made before she was able to call her parents. Her father was flipping out because she was going home with a boy. I may not have known her personally for long, but I am actually a very good judge of character. This is not the kind of girl who runs around and can't be trusted to get a ride home with a friend. I have associated her based on the fact she reminds me of myself. Her father was... straight out telling her she was lying about the bus and that she had planned it all out so she could run off and hang out with a boy because she wanted him to take her home

                The bus has also not showed up a few more times on her, and every time her father accuses her of lying. Just yesterday, her father asked her if she was on drugs, even though she had another coworker beside her who had also been ditched again, who has spoken with the bus drivers who admit some of the drivers do not drive into the park even though they are supposed to. She is going to SDSU in the fall and is currently taking college classes. She is FAR from irresponsible. Heck, I still need to register for classes...

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