This may sound cold but...

[myswtghst]

Actually it will sove everything - for the depressed person. It will just leave an unholy mess for everyone else. Unfortunately it's not about growing up, it's about getting better, either naturally or with help.

I was actually never quite selfish enough to kill myself, when I had my bad phase. I tended towards plenty of self-abuse, but I always would come back to how much it would hurt my family, especially my mother, who has her own depressive tendencies, and I just couldn't do it. I could handle being responsible for my own death, but not anyone else's potential death/misery.

That being said, I generally think that if you get caught, you either didn't plan well, or you wanted to get caught. In the time I was cutting myself and not eating for days on end, just for the physical pain of it, I never got caught, because I did it for me, not for attention. Which is part of the reason I abhor the emo-teens who "cut" themselves and then brag about it. It is not something to be proud of.

[CrazyCashierGuy]

After the shock of hearing what she had actually done wore off, I felt a bit quilty because I just thought she was being a slob like all the other SCs who make messes in the store. When I saw the blood dripping on the floor (just a few drops at that point) I was disgusted and thought to myself, "Jeez you pig, get on the damn toilet!"

We had a guy go nuts in our mens room a couple weeks ago, and of course I'm the one who gets the report. The guy was in the restroom talking to himself and then he starts cursing and RIPS the toilet seat off the fixture and smashes it on the ground into pieces. He then decides to go do number 2, which was about when LP arrived on the scene. She decides to have me and two utility guys go in and see whats going on first. We opened the door....

and retreated.

I'm not sure what exactly happened, but as per the SC, apparently they let him get on his motorcycle and go home....

[MadRocketScientist]

When I was twelve years old, I was coming home on my bike from a friends house up the street (I lived in the country near Plymouth WI, up the street was a mile and a half away, and our nearest neighbors were about a 1/4 mile down the road) when I noticed a large car parked right at the edge of our front yard with someone in it. I am a helpful sort & I thought someone might be in trouble, so I rode over to the car to see if they needed any help. I pull up to the driver side door and look in to see a lovely young woman with a LONG BARRELED CHROME .357 revolver pointed at her chest (she had the grip against the steering wheel and her thumbs hooked through the trigger).

I'm sure you can all imagine what a shock that was! I'm not sure how I kept my head, but I did. I asked her if she needed any help, she looked at me and said no. I said OK and rode back to the house, called 911, said some girl in her car is thinking REAL hard about shooting herself in my front yard and could they please send a few county mounties to try and discourage her (yes, that is how I said, I can not help but be a smartass). I gave them the identifying information (car description, our fire number, etc.), and then took the dog outside. About 5 minutes later I could hear sirens in the distance that quite suddenly stopped and a few seconds later the deputies came over the hill and I heard the gun go off.

She lived, put a hole through her lung, but since the mounties were there right away, they got her stabilized and off in an ambulance ASAP. She came by about 6 weeks later and thanked me for calling the police on her. She did not explain why she wanted to die, but she said she was better.

I never saw her again, but I am still glad I was able to offer the little help my 12 year old self could.

[Andara Bledin]

This is why people think men are more likely to be suicidal than women. Fact is, they are just more likely to choose a more 'definitive' method, and therefore actually succeed more often.

I suspect that it's probably something a bit different. I think that guys are just a bit more showy than women. Guys want to go out with a lot of flash and noise, so they choose a big way to do it. Women tend to be a little more private with their parting shots, so they pick something quiet without possible spectators.

One of my aunts was married and lived in the mountains in Vermont. She came home from her job one day to find her husband had hanged himself in the barn. My brother had a best friend who killed himself with a gun and my brother got to be the one that found him. The family actually blamed my brother for years. I think at least some of them still do.

I've never contemplated suicide except as an abstract curiosity because deep down I'm really incredibly morbid. But the very idea of what sort of mess I'd be leaving behind for the people who care about me and even random strangers is just so abhorent to everything I am and stand for that I would never even contemplate such an act. I have way too much empathy to ever do anything like that to anyone.

^-.-^

[JustADude]

I suspect that it's probably something a bit different. I think that guys are just a bit more showy than women. Guys want to go out with a lot of flash and noise, so they choose a big way to do it. Women tend to be a little more private with their parting shots, so they pick something quiet without possible spectators.

I wouldn't say "showy", I'd say "efficient". "Guy" methods, if you've noticed, tend to be much quicker and more inevitable than the ones women chose... one more (rather morbid) point on the old comparison about men being goal oriented and women being process oriented.

[NightAngel]

*dusts off old Criminal Justice knowledge...*

Women are most likely to choose methods that do not harm their physical appearance as much- such as overdosing, etc.
The reason is not necessarily vanity though- but that women are more conscientious of the people they are leaving behind. They don't want to leave behind a bloody, nasty mess or make their funeral arrangements harder on whoever will be taking care of it than what it's already going to be.

[JuniorMintz]

Women are most likely to choose methods that do not harm their physical appearance as much- such as overdosing, etc.
The reason is not necessarily vanity though- but that women are more conscientious of the people they are leaving behind. They don't want to leave behind a bloody, nasty mess or make their funeral arrangements harder on whoever will be taking care of it than what it's already going to be.

That's it, pretty much.

I'll admit, I've been depressed and thought suicidal thoughts before. The one thing that I always worried about was who would find me and how. I decided that if/when the day came and I wanted to off myself, I'd slit my wrists in the shower while fully clothed. I'd just sit there and bleed to death, but the mess left behind would be minimal since it'd all get washed down the drain. I didn't want my mom or dad to come home and find blood everywhere.

(Thank god I'm better now!)

[GingerBiscuit]

I don't talk about this often, it makes me feel uncomfortable, but remembering how, in my suicidal days I felt... I didn't care about strangers, but I didn't want to do it at home. Didn't want a family member or friend to find me. As it was non-family members and non-friends who had helped get me to this state, it made sense to my angry and depressed brain that a complete stranger that would probably have hurt me anyway should find me.

For a while I was planning to slit my wrists in a green space near to where I lived, partly cause of that, but partly as I wanted to die with greenery around me.

As I am still here, yu might be able to guess it didn't happen.

[Ree]

I hope all those who have expressed their past history with suicidal thoughts have sought some type of professional help to deal with them, or at the very least, have dealt with the issues that brought them to that point.

Thoughts of suicide aren't like thoughts of, "I really really want a toasted bagel now" and they don't just go away on their own.

We can bury the thoughts, but they will resurface if we don't take the time to deal with the reasons why those thoughts are there. I don't know too many people who are successful doing that on their own without the benefit of trained professionals.

Suicide is a very serious issue but there is some bizarre romantic notion attached to the idea of suicide. It is not some dramatic way of sending a message to people.

If it's done for attention seeking, or even talking about it is done for attention seeking, then there are better ways of getting that attention.

Suicide is permanent.

[Horsetuna]

I've had a lifelong problem with depression, coupled with paranoia and delusions. I tried getting help once, but the therapist I went to seemed to only be trying to make me MORE paranoid (In forethought, I wonder if He was trying to provoke me to assert myself)

I never did get to the hurt myself point, aside from feeling too cruddy to eat and letting it affect my work.

I'm on antidepressants now thankfully... I know I did think about 'I dont want to live. This sucks." a few times, but I dont think I got to the point where interference was necessary.

Ironically, that thought I had always was followed with 'But who would take care of Mimi and Paulie? They'd miss mommy! " (My two parrots).

So I guess pets DO help with therapy.

[Elf]

I had a period of time when I considered suicide by just not eating. (wasn't hard as depression kills my appetite) Family, friends and my cat helped keep me aloft. That was period from 2000 till 2003. After I moved to TN in 2003 I took myself off the insane amounts of medication I was on.

Would you believe that I have felt better these past 4 years without meds than I ever did on them? Ever since I've never had the urge to add another scar to my arm nor to kill myself. I think I was one of the unlucky ones whose meds only made the natural depression (from the death of my father) worse than it would have been without. Even when the depression does hit because of stress or other events I manage it better. For whatever reason, I'm happier now and grateful.

[cinema guy]

I hope all those who have expressed their past history with suicidal thoughts have sought some type of professional help to deal with them, or at the very least, have dealt with the issues that brought them to that point.

I was on antidepressants for several years. They really helped, as did the local support group. The psychiatrist didn't really help, just controlled my meds. I wish I knew what lead to my depression, but all I can really think of to say is I've had it on and off for years to varying degrees, with no single cause.

Thoughts of suicide aren't like thoughts of, "I really really want a toasted bagel now" and they don't just go away on their own.

They also pretty much over-ride any thought of, "I don't want to upset my family." The desire to die is not rational, even though the process of doing so probably is.

[Andara Bledin]

I tend to be a bit manic depressive. Right now I'm near the top of my manic phase. Lots of positive things have been happening, so I'm pretty buoyed.

When I hit the low, end, however, I can get pretty maudlin and withdrawn. But for a lot of reasons, suicide has never been even a consideration. One of those is a matter of faith. Deep down to the core, I know that suicide is wrong. End of discussion. Beyond that, I don't seem to be able to operation without considering the consequences of what I'm doing, and the consequences of ending my life are far too much for me to consider that a viable option. Finally, no matter where you are, things can change, things can get better, as long as you keep on going on. Dead is the end. No change, no new things, no getting better, no knowing what happens next.

^-.-^

[Pezzle]

I felt like killing myself for a very brief, sporradic period. It was after the pain amounted to a level that I could not take. During this time my mother was drinking heavily (Third DUI and spending weekends in jail), my grades were failing, and my friends I felt had abandoned me though now I see it wasn't true. I'd also just gotten my heart broken, and at fifteen that sucks rocks. Having never dealt with that feeling before, I tried the easy way out. After popping a blood vessel in my eye and being able to count every vein in my face (I could feel them) I had to make it stop, the epiphany came. In some way, while in that moment I did want it, I no longer desired it.

Now that I'm going on 20 and living a happy life with a boyfriend of over one year, doing very well in college, my mother has quit drinking all together, and life is pretty much on an upward climb... I am very thankful that I didn't carry out my own death sentence!

When I am depressed or stressed now mostly because of work, I do get downtrodden and withdrawn... I tend to only want to be with my boyfriend or sleep, and often have a hard time getting out of bed. When the pressure is relieved, I can get on with life in a much more pleasant fashion. I feel my suicide attempt was a lesson, and a lesson well learned. I can deal with petty things and life's pressures a lot better, and I'm no longer ashamed to cry when I must let bulk emotion out.

I've never been placed on medications, but I often wonder if they could help temporarily when the shit hits the fan so to speak... Either way though, I'd rather not leave a bloody mess for poor retail workers. That can be traumatizing to them... I suppose I'm rather considerate, must leave a pretty and well hidden corpse -laugh- I see my boyfriend when he's on meds. While not being able to hit rock bottom is nice, not being able to feel arousal and feelings of joy is also discomforting. Feeling numb is not the way I want to feel.

[Sharsarannon]

Almost every single person at some point in their life will feel suicidal to some degree. The trick is always just to consider. Sooner or later you find some reason, however stupid, to keep sticking around. It doesn't have to be a good reason. Your family, your pets, just to spite, just because you're too damn stubborn, just for the heck of one more day, just to see how the story goes on...But everyone has at least one reason to find.