Retail Saints and their corresponding prayers

[Professional Serf]

Retail Saints and their corresponding prayers :


Saint Apathy of the Immaculate Acquiescence
Oh Saint Apathy, save us from dignity, lest we stray too far into evil confidence and harbor foolish notions of hindsight, experience, and intellect. Remove from us any desire to question, or suggest different paths to our superiors, for such is contemptuous vain-glory. Fill our hearts and minds with your holy apathy that we may better serve the Lord(SM). A-men



Saint Sycophant of the Most Holy Pucker
Oh Saint Sycophant, grant us an audience with our superiors. Grant us witty quips to shower them with. Grant us strong neck muscles so that our nodding may go on uninterrupted. Grant us sharp eyes and ears to catch others when they blaspheme against the Lord(SM) Remove from us all self-worth, dignity, and pride...for such is vain-glory and beneath contempt.
A-men

[Becks]

When I feel clever, I'll add some of my own.

[Geek King]

Saint Vidicon, Patron Saint of Electronics and Preventor of the Perverse

Saint Vidicon protect us from the perversity of electronics, especially that caused by the deamon Murphy and the mad prophet Finagle's corrolary. Lead us not unto false answers, and deliver us from user error. Save us from kinked cordage, shorted circuits, and surge protectors that stick open, for yours is the clock speed, the matched RAM, and the video interface forever.










**Saint Vidicon merrily borrowed from a favorite author. A no-prize to whoever knows who and the series.

[Rapscallion]

**Saint Vidicon merrily borrowed from a favorite author. A no-prize to whoever knows who and the series.

Hmm - Christopher Stasheff and the Warlock series?

Rapscallion

[Professional Serf]

Saint Cheeseyus...patron saint of the sales floor.

Oh Saint Cheesyus, grant us strong facial muscles that we might smile...especially when we want to puke. Make us good actors that we might convincingly show concern or care...when what we really want to do is bludgeon. Fill our mouths with kind words and compliments...when what we really want to say is "is your head up your ass!". Grant us immunity from the "deodorantly challenged" and their antithesis the "painfully perfumed". Deafen us to the shrill screams of our customers, their children, and Christina Agulairia's caterwauling. Grant us thick skins that we might endure all of the MANY inept managers and the inevitable lackluster marks we'll get on our monetary reviews. Finally, grant our children the wisdom to go to college so they dont end up in retail too. A-men

[Aldous]

This reminded me of Robin Williams's stand-up. "Sorry Christopher, dashboard sales are down, baby.Take the kid off your back and get outta here Chris. We're bringing in St. Prada, our lady of Accesories."

[Geek King]

Hmm - Christopher Stasheff and the Warlock series?

Rapscallion

DING! DING! DING!

Well done Raps, a bright, shiney no-prize is on it's way!