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I.P Freleigh's Animal Stories

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  • #16
    Not at work, but during 10th grade we had a squirrel apparently living in the plenum space above the English department. He even got a sketch of himself in the yearbook.

    Speaking of birdcrap, when I was walking home from the bus stop when I was in 7th grade, it was fortunate I was walking on one side, because a flock did what I can only describe as "carpet bombing." They all released their s**t at once on the opposite side of the road. I can only imagine if I had gotten a video of it, making a narragtion of "Pilot to bombadier, open bomb bay doors, prepare to strike target on the count of 10..."
    Testing
    "I saw a flock of moosen! There were many of 'em. Many much moosen. Out in the woods- in the woodes- in the woodsen. The meese want the food. The food is to eatenesen."

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    • #17
      Quoth Emrld View Post
      sorry . . .it was dead because my heel went into it's skull
      Still not your fault, although I can understand never wanting to see those shoes again.
      Labor boards have info on local laws for free
      HR believes the first person in the door
      Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
      Document everything
      CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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      • #18
        A few summers back I had a mouse that nested in my bottom drawer (those cheap plastic things). Saturday morning I went to get my street clothes and I knew the jeans would be right on top. So I stuck my hand in without really opening it and felt something attach itself to my hand. Pulled my hand out mouse and all. Mouse went flying, I started screaming. When I opened the drawer up all the way there were 4 baby mice.

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        • #19
          When I worked at one of the candy stores at an area amusement park, we had a squirrel who would regularly help itself to a bag of peanut M&Ms. We also had some squirrels who managed to get into the upstairs storage area and get into the boxes of mixed nuts. The supervisors thought the employees were stealing stuff at first. Well they did until one of them happened to be upstairs and saw the squirrels having a little party.
          Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. Bershowitz

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          • #20
            I used to work at the local Zoo, and I've told these stories before but I think its a good time to bring them up.

            WHY YOU DO NOT FEED THE PEAFOWL.
            Peafowl are great birds. Peacocks are beautiful, and the girls are cute I think. Thing is, they are quite brave and WILL take food out of your hand.

            They are free roaming, and often have babies as well. The little ones are so cute... the faster the run, the faster they peep, like their pistons were moving faster ... Peep... peep... peep peep peep peeppeeppeeppeep...

            Course, they being cute, people would feed them fries and the like. Which we tell them NOT to do. Even the other girls did it. At the burger building you go up to the windows and order your food, like a walk-through.

            The problem with these is, well, LITTLE peafowl become BIG peafowl. I still remember when one juvie jumped up on the window sill of the burger shack and scared the daylights out of the girl there (They're all afraid of the things). I of course just shoved him off and closd the window.

            Apparently they jumped INTO the shack once and were running around under the friers eating old fries.

            An older one also went up to a two year old with a hot dog (and of course, the two year old is all 'ooh! pretty bird!" ) and then yanked the hot dog, swallowing it whole.

            I also remember hearing about the zookeepers having to catch and relocate one peacock to another part of the zoo because he was CHASING kids and stealing their food!

            THE STARLING GANG

            The birds in the Conservatory are quite the bunch too. We had little beautiful starlings, but they acted like a street gang. One landed on a deck chair we had inside, and the girl mopping flipped her mop at him. He flew off.

            Then, he came back with a buddy.

            Then a few more came down, and they all stared at her.

            Soon about two dozen starlings were all sitting on this deck chair and table staring at her. She freaked and got me to shoo them off.

            I also remember seeing two of them fighting on the pathway, with a circle of other Starlings around them as they grabbed each other's legs and stuff. Pretty funny.

            We also had bigger birds in the Conservatory. They were new at the time. Very lovely... Toucanoos or something (not toucans), with a bright crest. VERY friendly too.

            The way the conservatory kitchen is set up, is there's a gate that you slide around the counters to close it off. There's a little opening to one side though so we can get in and out after closing up.

            One girl went in the kitchen one day and found one of the toucanoos. She of course, freaked. And I had to go shoo this bird out.

            They were quite bold. They would land on the salad bar and try to eat the cherry tomatoes. They wouldn't fly off when I approached so I had to shove them off with a tray (I didnt want to risk being bit.)

            And then there's the exotic insects that the Conservatory had.

            Yeah, the place was a health hazard waiting to happen, I know. Its closed now, thankfully.

            I'll think of more stories later, likely from the fish and reptile store. Night.
            Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

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            • #21
              When I used to camp regularly, we camped in an area that was native to a lot of pygmy rattlesnakes (did you know pygmy is the only word techinically without any vowels?). Well, one day i was just walking around collecting firewood, and as i was walking back to camp, my girlfriend was freaking out, as she didn't even really like the outdoors as it was. She's a couch camper, you know?

              Turns out this snake had wrapped itself around my shoe. It WAS a pygmy rattler, and was just chilling there. I wasn't sure whether to stand still or just shake my boot. So I just had the gf make a lot of stomping noise, to scare him off with the vibrations.

              He took three nips at my boots apparently while I was walking.

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              • #22
                Quoth DarthRetard View Post
                (did you know pygmy is the only word techinically without any vowels?).
                *cough*Styx*cough*

                Rapscallion

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                • #23
                  Quoth Rapscallion View Post
                  *cough*Styx*cough*

                  Rapscallion
                  Double cough: Crypt
                  Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

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                  • #24
                    Damnit, uncle john's bathroom reader lied to me!

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                    • #25
                      At the liquor store I used to work at we had a pigeon somehow get inside of the store. It got in on a Saturday, and it was Sunday morning when I finally managed to trap him in between a cardboard box and one of the front windows, take the box outside and let him fly off to possibly take a crap on somebody's newly washed car.

                      There was also the story I told last summer about the very friendly pit bull that wandered into the store and decided that the back room was a nice place to hang out. Nothing like getting paid to babysit a dog for 90 minutes.

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                      • #26
                        Quoth Rapscallion View Post
                        *cough*Styx*cough*

                        Rapscallion


                        Quoth Horsetuna View Post
                        Double cough: Crypt
                        ***Triple cough:*** Try
                        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                        Hoc spatio locantur.

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                        • #27
                          Quoth DarthRetard View Post
                          (did you know pygmy is the only word techinically without any vowels?)
                          Hymn
                          Try
                          Dry
                          Why
                          By
                          Cyst
                          Etc. etc...
                          Check out my webcomic!

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                          • #28
                            Quoth Polenicus View Post
                            Try
                            Dry
                            Why
                            By
                            "Cry
                            Try
                            Why
                            But that was just a dream, just a dream..."


                            *ducks rotten tomatoes*
                            Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica.
                            Dwight: Bears don't eat bee... Hey! What are you doing?
                            The Office

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