Watch your backs, I mean it!

[blas]

As most of you know, I have been under a lot of stress at work. I got a promotion that I wanted REALLY badly. But of course, as it always happens, when I work hard for something I really want and I finally get it, it always comes with too many drawbacks and too many cons than pros.

I came to a new department. I know my place. I know I am not in charge of anyone. My purpose is to train new people and to give them all the knowledge that I know, and to help them succeed to be the best that they can be. I made that promise to my supervisor and to the company when I signed my promotion papers. I will uphold that promise.

Now, notice I just said that I KNOW my place. I do not act like I am above anyone. I ask a lot of questions to room runners and senior operators because I am still new to their department and am unsure at times of what goes where, what do I do when this happens, etc etc.....and I figured people would be understanding and helpful that I want their assistance and look up to THEM for guidance.

Nope, that's not the case. The first two weeks, I got in trouble for my attire, which went uncomplained about for over a year and just out of the blue. Not only that, but I am being watched like a hawk watching a field mouse. People are paying more attention to what I am doing rather than what they SHOULD be doing. I am being observed like a mouse in some experiment in a laboratory.

They are just waiting for me to screw up. Watching me, waiting for me to drop something, waiting for me to damage something, waiting for me to put something away incorrectly.

I am ashamed to admit that last week, out of the 4 days I worked (I had to take a night off because I was about to have a mental breakdown, and I mean it!), two of the days, I put my hood up as I walked to my car at shift end and wiped tears away from my eyes and walked into my parents house with mascara mudslide going down my cheeks. Then I had to explain to my parents that I was a coward and I had succumbed to these people's expectations of failure from me. Now I know there is nothing wrong with crying, but I felt so WEAK. I SHOULD have stood up for myself, I should have.....

Well in a few hours it will be the start of a new week. I would like all of these pricks and bitches to realize that what happened last week will NOT happen again.

I will do my job and do it well. I will not give a shit if you are watching me. I will look back at you and give you a puzzled face, as if to say "What's your problem?"

I will walk with confidence, not walking looking at the floor. I will walk past all of you, facing forward, not listening to hear the things you have to say about my body or my age. I am better than that.

I will have you know that I am a pretty mild tempered nice girl. I realize in that type of work area, there will be things said about my age and my appearance. As well as anyone else who is young and has the potential to go above and beyond.

But there is only so much bullshit I have to take. I will NOT cower and walk away crying or hide in the bathroom again. I WILL corner you. I will NOT stoop to your level and swear at you or throttle you like I want to. I will stand up for myself in a mature mannor, and lay everything on the table. I will let you know EXACTLY how I feel about the way you have all been treating me lately. I will also let you know that if you insist on continuing this behavior, I will talk to my boss about it. He may have taken your sides with my clothes, but he will NOT tolerate you all treating me this way when I have done nothing wrong except darken your doorways with my presence.

These people are stupid and ignortant. Several people in my other department have already hated me so and tried their hardest to get me to run away crying and make me quit, but what happened to them? I stood up to them and reported them, and they got in HEAP BIG TROUBLE for it. Now they have to watch THEIR backs, as if they do it again, THEY are gone. Do you want to be on thin ice and out of a job just because you hated someone for no reason? Didn't think so.

What happened these last two weeks will NOT happen again. I am too strong mentally and have put up with this shit from people my own age my entire life. I will be DAMNED if I let people twice and beyond twice my age try to make me run away screaming to mommy and daddy. I will be DAMNED if I let jealous angry people try to ruin my life and jeopardize my job.

You have been warned. Now get back to work already.

[Pedersen]

I will walk with confidence, not walking looking at the floor.

I am reminded of a quote from my favorite TV series of all time: "I can not have an assistant who always look at the floor as she walks. She will forever be bumping into things."

In other words, good for you. Don't look at the floor. Look ahead. And go kick their asses.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Hold yourself to that.

[powerboy]

I am proud of you for that.

[dalejrfan71]

I feel the same as you blas, I hate when people hate you for an unjustified reason. When I was in high school I used to let the kids get to me about the way I dressed (I used to wear rock band shirts everyday). My parents told me that if they make a comment to tell them MYOB!!! That was the best advice they ever gave me. From then on if someone made a comment about my clothes, I told them that if you don't like what I'm wearing to not look at me then.

[blas]

That's what it is, just like high school. Nearly everyone in that room is 45 going on 16. It's disgusting. Some of them probably have kids or grandkids who are dealing with bullies in school, so they preach to them "Tell them to grow up!", then they go to work and repeat that same bullyish behavior at work.

Last I checked, we were all supposed to be adults.

[Jester]

You might want to practice the Disdaining Stare of Death.

Someone says something stupid or ridiculous, just look at them. No smile, no frown. Just look at them, look THROUGH them. Don't say anything. Just stare at them.

It's as if to say, "Okay, THAT was stupid. What brilliance are you going to pitifully attempt to follow it up with now, genius?"

Not sure if this can be explained, but a whithering morally superior stare like this, if done right, can be devastatingly effective. I speak from experience as both the Starer and the Staree.

[JustADude]

Not sure if this can be explained, but a whithering morally superior stare like this, if done right, can be devastatingly effective. I speak from experience as both the Starer and the Staree.

I believe the proper expression is chin-neutral (aka, not a chin-up haughty stare or a chin-down glower), one eyebrow slightly cocked but otherwise deadpan.
Of course, I might be influenced by having just watched a full season of SG1 back-to-back... Teal'c 4TW.

[Jester]

Actually, it's really different for everyone, but it's the kind of stare where the other person should think "if that person's eyes were actually able to throw daggers, I would be a human pincushion right now."

Yes, THAT kind of stare.

[iradney]

My Mom has something similar - except the temperature in the room goes down a few degrees till frost appears. It's got quite an effect. Couple that with suddenly crisp diction and soft voice, trees themselves move out of her way.
I <3 my mom!

[draggar]

Being promoted but not changing workplaces is difficult. First, people expect you not to change (but you have to) and second, people can feel resentment if they also applied (they always think "I would have been a better candidate / she's getting all of my money"). But, upper management thought they you were the best candidate, be proud of that.

Also, like technicians and engineers, a trainer is a very powerful person and probabaly the most influential person in the enviroment, managers are not (managers are more like glorified slave-drivers / babysitters). In time people will stop thumbing their noses at you and start respecting you, and if you treat them with respect and a good sense of ethics (which I am sure you are doing) they will in turn respect you.

I will walk with confidence, not walking looking at the floor. I will walk past all of you, facing forward, not listening to hear the things you have to say about my body or my age. I am better than that.

Yes you are. Do not stoop to their level, it will only hurt your career. It's sad that the assholes get away with anything but when someone stoops to their level, even for a second, all hell breaks loose. Be confident, yet not pushy. Don't lose your cool around them either. If you break, then they know they can break you and will not stop. Keep your cool, even if it means going to your car during a break to scream.

These people are stupid and ignortant. Several people in my other department have already hated me so and tried their hardest to get me to run away crying and make me quit, but what happened to them? I stood up to them and reported them, and they got in HEAP BIG TROUBLE for it. Now they have to watch THEIR backs, as if they do it again, THEY are gone. Do you want to be on thin ice and out of a job just because you hated someone for no reason? Didn't think so.

Good. You need to show them that you are serious and you will not take the bull. People are there to do a job, not to make your life difficult, if they are not doing their jobs, then they need to be reported (within reason, you do not want to be labeled as the tattle-tale).

Take it from me, this is not an easy transition. I have been promoted into a supervisory position in the same location. I dealt with a lot of crap when I started but it quickly ended when I kept my head (and I am the type of person who likes to 'test' new managers also).

[ContraCorriente]

I swear we are going through the exact same situation at work. You are definitely in my thoughts. =)