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Bee stings and preachers!

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  • Bee stings and preachers!

    Okay, while technically this isn't a job in the literal sense of the word and more like a chore, I thought it deserved a place here.

    My father had asked me to mow the lawn for him today while he was at work. I have nothing better to do since I'm still unemployed (See my thread in the Management board). I mow the lawn abut every once when my parents ask me to (Yes, I still live at home. I don't make NEARLY enough to move out) and today started no different. My parents front yard has this little courtyard area that has this HUGE bush in it that bees apparently love to get into. I forget this lovely piece of info and begin mowing around there. One of those pesky fellers flies out, lands on my back and sting the ever-living CRAP out of me. I say that knowing full well that bees can only sting once... I think. But it hurt like fire and I began to run around swearing and yelling and blaspheming up a storm when out next door neighbor comes out of his house.

    Now, the funny thing to note here is that my next door neighbor is a preacher. And his daughters play with my sister. I can only imagine what he must think of me. A 220lb grown adult man running around in his front yard screaming "F***! God... F***! DAMMIT!" and so on. But here's where it gets good for you, gentle reader. He proceeds to walk over to me and attempt to perform, what I can only imagine is, an exorcism on me.

    Him: Satan, hold on to this child of god no longer. Let loose your evil grasp and let him see the light. Begone oh evil one...(This goes on for a few minutes)

    I stop screaming as soon as I hear him start talking, and when he was done, the only thing I could do was stare at him. He placed his hand on my shoulder and says "Those fuckin bees got me too last weekend." and walks back into his house.

    Needless to say, that whole chain of events was the last thing I expected to happen to me today.
    Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command.

  • #2
    So was there a bee hive in that bush? Did you get rid of it?

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    • #3
      No. My dad works for a bug killing company, I told him about it and he said he's going to take care of it.
      Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command.

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      • #4
        Quoth Gaudemeus View Post
        One of those pesky fellers flies out, lands on my back and sting the ever-living CRAP out of me. I say that knowing full well that bees can only sting once... I think.
        <\Eastern European Professor Accent>

        The standard honey bee can normally only sting once, as the stinger will hook into your skin like a tiny fishhook and stay there. A portion of the honey bee's insides will remain attached to the stinger, and the bee will die. However, Bumblebees and Yellowjackets look almost the same at a glance, and can sting multiple times because they have no hooks on their stingers. Instead of hives, bumblebees and yellowjackets usually build tunnels in soft earth in shaded, protected areas such as wood piles and bushes.

        <\Eastern European Professor Accent>
        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
        Hoc spatio locantur.

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        • #5
          Quoth Gaudemeus View Post
          He placed his hand on my shoulder and says "Those fuckin bees got me too last weekend." and walks back into his house.
          Now I'm not to religious nor do I venture inside of a church to often. But I reckon I'd be down to check out one of his sermons
          My Karma ran over your dogma.

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          • #6
            Yeah, same here.

            That gave me a good laugh.
            You're focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem! --From Patch Adams

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            • #7
              Quoth Gaudemeus View Post
              No. My dad works for a bug killing company, I told him about it and he said he's going to take care of it.
              <GodFather Accent>
              It will be... taken care of... my son.
              </GodFather Accent>

              ...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?! -- Kalga
              And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. -- Wicked Lexi

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