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I wish I could totally send this to the people in charge without getting shitcanned...
"Not My Problem"
1) Open Departments: Does it bother you that I regularly am using this option rather than scanning in the item? Does it screw up the inventory counts? Awwww...well how about this: FIX THE DAMN THING! If the item would scan I wouldn't be doing open departments. so fix it and quit complaining to me. Get a little proactive here, because this is not MY problem.
2) Invoices: Don't like the way I do invoices? Does it annoy you when I am constantly changing the prices on things to make them match? Does it bother you when I put in a substitute item because one wasn't on file? How about this - FIX IT YOUR OWN DAMN SELF. Get into the system and make it so that when I type in the item number for something, it shows up as the proper price and item and not two dollars more. This is not my problem.
3) So the coupon that YOU designed doesn't scan in properly on YOUR system. Huh. So what am I supposed to do? Manually enter it as a generic company coupon, staple it, log it here and there and blah blah what else? HAha, guess what - NOT MY PROBLEM. I'm going to continue hitting my handy little price override key. Awwwww is it screwing with the inventory? Well what do you say you get off your a$$, do some work for once, and FIX THAT TOO?
4) And the survey that you designed is too complex for the customers to figure out? So they give us low scores when they mean to give us high scores? So I'm supposed to take an extra 15 minutes PER CUSTOMER to explain this crap to them? HAHAHAHAHA! How about you change the instructions printed on the survey to include the fact that 1= crappy and 5= awesome. Because....that's right! It's NOT MY PROBLEM!
5) So people are stealing gas? Explain to me again how this is my fault....my back was turned as I was making coffee for the customers to buy. Tell me how I am supposed to do both. Actually, nevermind, because yet again...it's not my problem. It's your gas, it's your money, you want to protect it, than freakin' do something about it.
6) So our underground storage tanks are showing a variance? What, are you saying that the big WOODEN STICK we drop down in there every day might not be 100% accurate? Easy solution - get one of those electronic Veeder roots. Oh, its too expensive. Yeah, so are the fines we could incur for our tanks being off. But again...NOT MY PROBLEM!
7) Oh look, half our merchandise didn't come in. Why's that? Maybe its because once again someone at corporate dropped the ball and F***UCKED UP the item codes - AGAIN. I will order the stuff and stock it, but if it doesn't come in, it's NMP. Ya know, there's actually a guy who gets paid to take care of this stuff, and last time I checked, it isn't me.
8) And once again your lousy technicians have completely FUBAR'd the office computer and now -*random important sales figure*- doesn't properly calculate with the daily sales. When exactly did this become my problem? Pay me 20 bucks an hour and I'll fix the friggin thing. Otherwise, well...I guess its NOT my problem.
9) Ever stop to think that the reason we don't sell something is because we charge an arm and a leg for it? Ever heard of "loss leaders"? Ever heard of something called "Being competive"? If you're going to charge half again the standard market value don't expect to be making huge sales any time soon. Do I need to say NMP here?
10) Oh, you don't like that we let potential thieves or people who harass customers hanging out in the store? Hmmm...seems to me you made it perfectly clear I don't have the authority to remove unwanted customers when you refused to help me get rid of the person who was SEXUALLY HARASSING ME. I could have owned your friggin company after that so why don't you quit b*tching and either take care of it yourself or just shut up for good about it, because it's really...well you know.
"Not My Problem"
1) Open Departments: Does it bother you that I regularly am using this option rather than scanning in the item? Does it screw up the inventory counts? Awwww...well how about this: FIX THE DAMN THING! If the item would scan I wouldn't be doing open departments. so fix it and quit complaining to me. Get a little proactive here, because this is not MY problem.
2) Invoices: Don't like the way I do invoices? Does it annoy you when I am constantly changing the prices on things to make them match? Does it bother you when I put in a substitute item because one wasn't on file? How about this - FIX IT YOUR OWN DAMN SELF. Get into the system and make it so that when I type in the item number for something, it shows up as the proper price and item and not two dollars more. This is not my problem.
3) So the coupon that YOU designed doesn't scan in properly on YOUR system. Huh. So what am I supposed to do? Manually enter it as a generic company coupon, staple it, log it here and there and blah blah what else? HAha, guess what - NOT MY PROBLEM. I'm going to continue hitting my handy little price override key. Awwwww is it screwing with the inventory? Well what do you say you get off your a$$, do some work for once, and FIX THAT TOO?
4) And the survey that you designed is too complex for the customers to figure out? So they give us low scores when they mean to give us high scores? So I'm supposed to take an extra 15 minutes PER CUSTOMER to explain this crap to them? HAHAHAHAHA! How about you change the instructions printed on the survey to include the fact that 1= crappy and 5= awesome. Because....that's right! It's NOT MY PROBLEM!
5) So people are stealing gas? Explain to me again how this is my fault....my back was turned as I was making coffee for the customers to buy. Tell me how I am supposed to do both. Actually, nevermind, because yet again...it's not my problem. It's your gas, it's your money, you want to protect it, than freakin' do something about it.
6) So our underground storage tanks are showing a variance? What, are you saying that the big WOODEN STICK we drop down in there every day might not be 100% accurate? Easy solution - get one of those electronic Veeder roots. Oh, its too expensive. Yeah, so are the fines we could incur for our tanks being off. But again...NOT MY PROBLEM!
7) Oh look, half our merchandise didn't come in. Why's that? Maybe its because once again someone at corporate dropped the ball and F***UCKED UP the item codes - AGAIN. I will order the stuff and stock it, but if it doesn't come in, it's NMP. Ya know, there's actually a guy who gets paid to take care of this stuff, and last time I checked, it isn't me.
8) And once again your lousy technicians have completely FUBAR'd the office computer and now -*random important sales figure*- doesn't properly calculate with the daily sales. When exactly did this become my problem? Pay me 20 bucks an hour and I'll fix the friggin thing. Otherwise, well...I guess its NOT my problem.
9) Ever stop to think that the reason we don't sell something is because we charge an arm and a leg for it? Ever heard of "loss leaders"? Ever heard of something called "Being competive"? If you're going to charge half again the standard market value don't expect to be making huge sales any time soon. Do I need to say NMP here?
10) Oh, you don't like that we let potential thieves or people who harass customers hanging out in the store? Hmmm...seems to me you made it perfectly clear I don't have the authority to remove unwanted customers when you refused to help me get rid of the person who was SEXUALLY HARASSING ME. I could have owned your friggin company after that so why don't you quit b*tching and either take care of it yourself or just shut up for good about it, because it's really...well you know.
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