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A co-worker of mine and I came up with this wonderful list of things to do or not do at a bank. This was, of course, one one of those slow days at the drive up when there was nothing better to do.
1) Learn how to fill out a deposit slip. Filling them out is not rocket science. I learned how to do so in grade school.
2) If you are going to the drive up window, please have EVERYTHING ready. Nothing angers us more (or the people behind you more so) than somebody at the drive up who doesn't have their crap filled out. If you need time, pull into a parking spot or go inside where we have lovely tables, coffee, and lolly pops.
3) No, we don't have any new state quarters and no, we don't know when the new ones are coming. Asking every day won't get them there any sooner, especially since we don't control the supplier.
4) Learn how to balance your checkbook. We do charge, by the way, for doing it for you.
5) Don't get mad when we ask for ID. Just because somebody at another branch knows you doesn't mean that everybody at every branch knows you.
6) Please hang up the phone when you're at the bank. Not only is it rude to the other customers and employees, but you're at the stinkin' bank! Way to pay attention to your money their, chief.
7) Our bank hours are 9-5 (with the drive thru open at 8). If you need longer hours, use the ATM or switch to a bank with hours that fit your schedule better, like the bank across the street with a branch in the grocery store that's open 7 days a week.
7a) Don't show up at 5:05 pm and expect us to be open. Our building can be secured in five minutes. Again, use the ATM.
8) If your ATM card gets stolen, report it IMMEDIATELY! And furthermore, learn to keep track of your card. (Apparently there was a woman a little while ago who lost her card at least ten times because she was too careless to keep track of it. This time somebody actually used it and wiped her account clean. Not fun for the customer service reps at work).
9) If you're at the drive up, don't be afraid to use the tube. It doesn't bite and it's usually faster than waiting in line at the drawer.
10) The drive thru is meant for speedy transactions, not 14,000 different little things.
11) Please observe the clearly labeled one way driving pattern in our parking lot. It's that way for a reason. Thank you!
12) Please keep your coins clean if you expect us to count them in our machine.
13) Please do not walk up to the drive thru window unless you're looking to get hit by a car. The corner leading up to the drive thru is a blind one and chances are the driver of the vehicle won't see you until it's too late.
14) Please do not bring in a check made out to somebody else and expect us to cash it for you, especially if it's not signed over to you or you are not the power of attorney for that person. If you are the POA, please make sure you're listed on the person's account for whom you are power of attorney for.
15) We need to eat too. Lunch time is a busy time, so expect transactions to take longer than normal.
16) This one is for one of our local business customers. For godness sakes, BUY A CALCULATOR OR CHECK YOUR DEPOSITS BEFORE BRINGING THEM OVER!!! (Their bags are wrong almost every time they bring them in)
17) No, we can't take your bag of rolled coins at the drive up. The neither the drawer nor the tube is built to accommodate the weight. And no, I can't give you any rolled change through the tube either. The last thing we need is for it to get stuck again because there was too much weight in it.
18) We are not mind readers. If you need something, just ask. For example, if you are depositing a check, but ran out of deposit slips, just say so. We'd be more than happy to give you one, and even extras if you so need. Don't just hand us the check and expect us to know what to do with it. Would you like all $20 bills with your $400 cashed check. No problem as long as you ask before I've sent everything back to you.
19) Sorry, we can't fill out your deposit slips for you, especially if there's cash involved. Don't get snippy when we hand your stuff back to you and have you fill it out. This is company policy and my job isn't worth risking for your laziness.
20) If you need the balance on your account, please ask before we hand everything back to you and you've put your stuff away. It's just a convenience for you and me since I can just push a button or two and have your balance printed magically onto your reciept.
21) If you car is too big for the drive up, then perhaps you should consider going inside. Yes, that means you in the one ton pick up truck with the dualie and you in the Hummer H2. Also, if you continually hit the curb in your car, or hit the sigh, then perhaps the drive up is not for you. (I kid you not, there is some chick in a minivan who keeps hitting the sign and the curb every time she comes to the drive up).
1) Learn how to fill out a deposit slip. Filling them out is not rocket science. I learned how to do so in grade school.
2) If you are going to the drive up window, please have EVERYTHING ready. Nothing angers us more (or the people behind you more so) than somebody at the drive up who doesn't have their crap filled out. If you need time, pull into a parking spot or go inside where we have lovely tables, coffee, and lolly pops.
3) No, we don't have any new state quarters and no, we don't know when the new ones are coming. Asking every day won't get them there any sooner, especially since we don't control the supplier.
4) Learn how to balance your checkbook. We do charge, by the way, for doing it for you.
5) Don't get mad when we ask for ID. Just because somebody at another branch knows you doesn't mean that everybody at every branch knows you.
6) Please hang up the phone when you're at the bank. Not only is it rude to the other customers and employees, but you're at the stinkin' bank! Way to pay attention to your money their, chief.
7) Our bank hours are 9-5 (with the drive thru open at 8). If you need longer hours, use the ATM or switch to a bank with hours that fit your schedule better, like the bank across the street with a branch in the grocery store that's open 7 days a week.
7a) Don't show up at 5:05 pm and expect us to be open. Our building can be secured in five minutes. Again, use the ATM.
8) If your ATM card gets stolen, report it IMMEDIATELY! And furthermore, learn to keep track of your card. (Apparently there was a woman a little while ago who lost her card at least ten times because she was too careless to keep track of it. This time somebody actually used it and wiped her account clean. Not fun for the customer service reps at work).
9) If you're at the drive up, don't be afraid to use the tube. It doesn't bite and it's usually faster than waiting in line at the drawer.
10) The drive thru is meant for speedy transactions, not 14,000 different little things.
11) Please observe the clearly labeled one way driving pattern in our parking lot. It's that way for a reason. Thank you!
12) Please keep your coins clean if you expect us to count them in our machine.
13) Please do not walk up to the drive thru window unless you're looking to get hit by a car. The corner leading up to the drive thru is a blind one and chances are the driver of the vehicle won't see you until it's too late.
14) Please do not bring in a check made out to somebody else and expect us to cash it for you, especially if it's not signed over to you or you are not the power of attorney for that person. If you are the POA, please make sure you're listed on the person's account for whom you are power of attorney for.
15) We need to eat too. Lunch time is a busy time, so expect transactions to take longer than normal.
16) This one is for one of our local business customers. For godness sakes, BUY A CALCULATOR OR CHECK YOUR DEPOSITS BEFORE BRINGING THEM OVER!!! (Their bags are wrong almost every time they bring them in)
17) No, we can't take your bag of rolled coins at the drive up. The neither the drawer nor the tube is built to accommodate the weight. And no, I can't give you any rolled change through the tube either. The last thing we need is for it to get stuck again because there was too much weight in it.
18) We are not mind readers. If you need something, just ask. For example, if you are depositing a check, but ran out of deposit slips, just say so. We'd be more than happy to give you one, and even extras if you so need. Don't just hand us the check and expect us to know what to do with it. Would you like all $20 bills with your $400 cashed check. No problem as long as you ask before I've sent everything back to you.
19) Sorry, we can't fill out your deposit slips for you, especially if there's cash involved. Don't get snippy when we hand your stuff back to you and have you fill it out. This is company policy and my job isn't worth risking for your laziness.
20) If you need the balance on your account, please ask before we hand everything back to you and you've put your stuff away. It's just a convenience for you and me since I can just push a button or two and have your balance printed magically onto your reciept.
21) If you car is too big for the drive up, then perhaps you should consider going inside. Yes, that means you in the one ton pick up truck with the dualie and you in the Hummer H2. Also, if you continually hit the curb in your car, or hit the sigh, then perhaps the drive up is not for you. (I kid you not, there is some chick in a minivan who keeps hitting the sign and the curb every time she comes to the drive up).
