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Quoth AkaiKitsune
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Wait, you previously celebrated the winter solstice in a good sized city in Illinois?“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers -
Dressing up in scrubs does not count as a Halloween costumeComment
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I'm not allowed to visit a bank branch with a face shield on.This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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Safety slogans recited at shift change meetings must no longer make reference to death, dismemberment, disfiguration, or flatulence.
Sure, ruin my fun.
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost dailyComment
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I am not allowed to do “arts and crafts” with the box the new flyers come in. I am especially not allowed to make a spongebob design on said box and wear it around the store. It’s a very long kinda rectangular box.
I am not allowed to do above with a “shocked spongebob” or a “crying spongebob” and then wear it in front of the crab tanks. Nor am I to get my coworkers to take a picture of me doing so while pointing at the crabs and titling it with any reference to Mr. Crabs or his future dismemberment. Or to “swallowing him whole”.
I am not allowed to make a Patrick box and rope a coworker into doing any of the above with me.
I am not allowed to wear big googly eyes on my glasses covering my real eyes. No matter how entertaining everyone finds it."It's a joke not a dick. No need to take it so hard."
“Here’s $10, go to Walmart and buy a houseplant. Carry it around to make up for all of that oxygen you waste.”Comment
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That aged like fine milk.Quoth catcul View PostThis site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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If I offer a certain kind of candy to my coworkers, I'm not allowed to say, "Go ahead and suck on my balls."This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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If my coworker makes a joke about my vampire mask, I'm not allowed to say, "I don't need your neck to suck you off."This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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If I ask for a server to be turned on, acceptable requests would be, "Please turned it on," "Please power it on," or, "Please bring it online."
I am not allowed to say, "Hey, Dave. Crank that mother fucker up."This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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Putting googly eyes on the back of my shirt/a hi-vis vest is apparently unprofessional..whatever 'professional' means around here."I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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"Professional" means the boss thought of it.Quoth Dreamstalker View Post
"Unprofessional" means the boss did not think of it."I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."Comment
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I'd say the googly eyes really are more professional than him."I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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Claiming Havana Syndrome probably isn't going to get me out of work.Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost dailyComment
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That wouldn't be diplomatic.Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.Comment
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I can't play my "Robots Activate!" ringtone over the PA right at opening. At least not if C is around, everyone else thinks it's awesome.
Not allowed to make foam horns/a Viking longship head to put on the front of my cart."I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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