Have any sign of self-respect or self-definition.
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Things I am not allowed to do at work.
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Use the word Patrol. That is hint at, let anybody know that, or otherwise mention the word at all. When somebody asks me what I am doing walking around..I guess I am supposed to say "I can't answer that."
Reply "I am doing great, how are you today?!" when asked how I am. No..seriously..I was told this.
Let my vehicle warm up to do my vehicle patrol, frost on windows or not.Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.
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Throw a party celebrating my lying sack of shit arrogant as all hell dumber then a box of rocks inconsiderate slut puppy former AGM's termination and not invite my vulcan awesome GM.
Welcome my amazing new AGM who's downright awesome and has everyone worshipping the ground she walks on with a vodka and hot tub party.Accountant by trade, Night Auditing Drunksitter by choice.
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Not allowed to close the store down early, herd all the customers out, and sneak in booze and wild men to celebrate the demotion of a detested store manager.
Speaking of that store manager, I guess I'm not allowed to lock HIM into a store - by himself - that's not opened yet while it's still dark out with NO keys or alarm codes, much less the phone number for the corporate department that handles the store alarms.Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)
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I am not allowed to:
-have the Easter Bunny Of Doom(*) on my register to annoy coworkers.
-to go UP to coworkers with said bunny and go "HUG ME" in a deep growly voice.
-to rip out the speaker unit in the back of said bunny and rig it up so that it starts singing whenever someone walks past.
-to throw it into the baler.
-Set it on fire.
(*) We just got some plush Easter Bunnies in stock. These ones however, SING. As for the voice, picture Justin Bieber as if he was 2 years old. Now make his voice about five times higher and that is the Easter Bunny of Doom. The song is irritating.The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom
Now queen of USSR-Land...
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i am not allowed to use work computers to find sources for parts and upgrades for my death ray as it scares my boss
i am not allowed to call my subordinates "minions"
i am not allowed to mention my nemesis
i am not allowed to use the work computers to find a source for kryptoniteThere are only two rules of tactics: never be without a plan, and never rely on it.
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carnival:
i am not allowed to strangle idiot parents
don't inflate the bounce slide with it aimed at a tree
don't randomly stop and start the ferris wheel
i am not allowed to upgrade the tilt-a-whirl
i am not allowed to use the bounce rides during work
i am not allowed to use the bounce rides after work
i am certainly not allowed to use the bounce rides with the bosses daughterThere are only two rules of tactics: never be without a plan, and never rely on it.
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I am not allowed to sing Japanese Pop songs.
I'm a 6' 3" guy with a deep voice. Something about combining those three traits with cheerful, bubbly songs in a foreign language is apparently creepy as hell.
Or maybe it's the fact that I can sing in Japanese without ever having learned the language...Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx
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