Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[star82869]

I'm not allowed to use the sliding funiture movers as ice skates in the hallways without my suit jacket durring work hours or not.
I'm not allowed to use the sliding funiture movers as ice skates in the hallways with my suit jacket durring work hours or not.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

No playing ring toss with the Trojan vibrating rings and the pizzle sticks.

[Geek King]

...answer the umpteenth "How are you feeling?" with "Soft, fleshy, and a bit hairy", after being off sick for a couple of days.

[KatherineB]

My boss told me yesterday that, whenever I actually find a full-time job and leave my current position, he won't be letting me on the phones from the day I hand in my notice. For some reason he just doesn't trust me. Can't think why...

[Rapscallion]

It's apparently frowned upon to see a CPR training session (mouth to mouth, bloke laid on floor with bloke attending) in progress in the meeting room and take in a pack of intimate lube before scarpering.

It makes the instructor blush.

Rapscallion

[cinema guy]

We only ever got to do mouth to mouth on dummies!

[Rapscallion]

So did our lot.

Think about it...

Rapscallion

[ShinyGreenApple]

- Even if I am overwhelmed and frustrated, it is not acceptable to pull patient's scrips down from off the top shelf and slam them onto the counter. It is not acceptable to take the binder clips off of them and throw those, either. (We use a stick to hook the binder clips and 'fish' it down rather than going up and down the stepstool.)

In all honesty, that was the first time in the over two years he's known me since Boss saw me having a slight tantrum and I think he was scared. You know, my red hair and all

- Boss disapproves of us discussing the possible sex lives of conjoined twins, too.

Yeah, we hear "Aww, guys, come on, stop, don't talk about that at work!" from him quite often

[BrenDAnn]

I'm apparently not allowed to tell people that C-Store is NOT a can redemption center, for fuck's sake! *sigh*

[Salted Grump]

According to a Co-Irker that thinks he's a manager (he's bottom-rung, like me), I am not allowed...

-To take breaks.
-To have a drink of fruit juice if I'm going into Hypoglycemic shock.
-To be polite to the guests (movie theatre jargon. Pfft.)
-To use hand gestures to direct guests to the proper theatre.
-To enforce the 'No outside food and drink' policy.
-To move from my spot at all, regardless of muscle cramps due to inactivity.
-To bring in outside food as a gift to my other co-workers (Fucker scarfed down over Half an extra-large pizza when there were only four people working, including myself. He left Three slices behind)
-To explain promotions that the concession staff are unable to do due to time constraints.

I'm very tempted to point out all of the above to the General Manager of the theatre, as A: Her word is law, and B: she's also diabetic, and has no desire to see any employee deal with health problems that are easily prevented by Common. Fucking. Sense.

[Kristev]

Oh my! That fool is going to get someone hurt, then get promoted! What a waste.

[fireheart]

I am not allowed to teach my kids how to weaponise pumpkins.

I am also not allowed to teach them how to create cowless beef.

Or how to fire somebody.

[gremcint]

I am apparently perfectly allowed to bring my motorized nerf tommy gun to work.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Using the Shocker hand gesture to point people towards stuff is not allowed. We're a family store fer crissakes.

[Marmalady]

I am not allowed to growl at the manager when, after spending half an hour arranging a load of stock the way he asked me to, he now wants it done completely differently.