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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • When somebody asks me how I'm doing today, don't respond "Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that I'm perfect!"
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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    • I am not allowed to make jokes about me being blonde.
      Especially because I am the ONLY blonde.
      I am however, allowed to claim "blonde moment" for screwing up the first aid paperwork.
      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

      Now queen of USSR-Land...

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      • No matter how innocent they sound, or the lack of swearing, singing songs from Family Guy, Simpsons, American Dad and South Park are all forbidden. ESPECIALLY South Park.
        The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

        Now queen of USSR-Land...

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        • I am not allowed to mope. Apparently it brings everyone else down?

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          • Slack off from checking on the customer bathrooms every 30 minutes (A job I CAN'T even do half of the time because of how busy it gets). But if I'm lucky enough, sometimes I'll get a front desk employee who doesn't bother asking.

            Not sure if I've mentioned that one already.
            "Any kind of hereditary privilege is wrong, it's not just anti-democracy, it's just like inherent wrong" - Robert Smith

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            • Do not print the set of cards from Cards Against Humanity and leave them lying randomly around the store.

              Not even in employee-only areas.
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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              • Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                Do not print the set of cards from Cards Against Humanity and leave them lying randomly around the store.

                Not even in employee-only areas.
                Now I really want to print off these cards and play the game. That's hysterical.
                At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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                • I'm not allowed to ask for mailing addresses for loan customers, to make sure the customer's loan coupons go to the correct address.
                  "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                  -Mira Furlan

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                  • I must not point and laugh at my colleagues who end up covered up to their knees when entering a cow shed.
                    A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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                    • Quoth Ghel View Post
                      I'm not allowed to ask for mailing addresses for loan customers, to make sure the customer's loan coupons go to the correct address.
                      *BSOD*


                      Wut?

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                      • Quoth Aethian View Post
                        *BSOD*


                        Wut?
                        The loan officer gives me the promissory note to prepare the coupons from, often before the loan goes on the computer. It generally has just the customer's physical address, not their mailing address. We had a couple coupon books returned last week because they were sent to the wrong address. When I asked the loan officer to give me the mailing address when she gives me the info to prepare coupon books, she acted like I was asking her to do a ton of extra work.
                        "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                        -Mira Furlan

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                        • Quoth crazylegs View Post
                          I must not point and laugh at my colleagues who end up covered up to their knees when entering a cow shed.
                          OK, there is a story with this one I am betting.

                          I would like to hear it.

                          same for why you must not chase cows.
                          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                          Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                          • Quoth fireheart View Post
                            OK, there is a story with this one I am betting.

                            I would like to hear it.

                            same for why you must not chase cows.
                            Two separate incidents - in two separate jobs!

                            New rule:

                            I must not suggest to a vegetarian coeliac that a nice breakfast is a bacon sandwich.
                            A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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                            • Step away from the training computer Irv; we all know you want to replace everything with the Customer Service: It Gets Worse video.
                              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                              Comment


                              • Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                                Step away from the training computer Irv; we all know you want to replace everything with the Customer Service: It Gets Worse video.
                                That should be mandatory viewing for anyone working with the public.

                                And I guess I can't form a posse to go to the bigger nearby store and kidnap our former store manager and bring him back and give them back the manager we have now due to customer demand.

                                Now that would give a whole new definition to Customer Service.
                                Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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