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I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke. -
In my defence, the wording was “pants or skirts optional”. I just interpreted it differently. And I’m utterly shameless apparently."It's a joke not a dick. No need to take it so hard."
“Here’s $10, go to Walmart and buy a houseplant. Carry it around to make up for all of that oxygen you waste.”Comment
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Sing Weird Al Yankovic's The Night Santa Went Crazy over the loud speaker.Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.Comment
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It could be worse. You could be singing A Terrorist Christmas by James & Kling.Quoth TheWolfEmperor View PostThis site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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Just because we are allowed to wear Christmas *sweaters*, does not mean I am allowed to dress up in a reindeer onesie for work... or like the grinch. No matter how entertaining it is for everyone else"It's a joke not a dick. No need to take it so hard."
“Here’s $10, go to Walmart and buy a houseplant. Carry it around to make up for all of that oxygen you waste.”Comment
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Don't tempt meQuoth catcul View Post
Just because we have an employee with a Santa Clause costume does not mean I can show up in my Krampus costume.Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.Comment
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The CEO is visiting our office building today.
Things I'm not allowed to do while he's here:
*wear jeans.
*wear my red dress with green stockings.
*ask him if I can pass as a girl.
*ask him to touch my breast forms and ask if they feel real.
*ask him if he wants me to be his princess.This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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Or you could sing Jingle BombsQuoth TheWolfEmperor View Post
I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
-- Life Sucks Then You Die.
"I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."Comment
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Don't forget Christmas at Ground Zero!Quoth TheWolfEmperor View PostThis was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - TrixieComment
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^ YES!
Go around telling people if this place fell into the ocean they would be skimming stupid off of it for weeks.
boss said I'm thinking of leaving to give more than 2 weeks, so I told him today hopefully March.
I'm not going to get into details but I'm am so over this place.AkaiKitsune
Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.Comment
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Quoth Racket_Man View PostOr you could sing Jingle Bombs
*raises hand*
Done that.
But, in my defense, it was after closing and no customers were left in the store.
Besides, I didn't sing . . . I just played the video on YT and held the phone to the microphone.
Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)
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I'm not allowed to sing X-M@$ by Corey Taylor with my coworkers. (Link NSFW)
Merry F
ing Christmas, everyone.
I'm also not allowed to sing Naughty Christmas by Lacuna Coil at children, no matter how much they misbehave.This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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I'm not allowed to sing Te Quiero Puta! by Rammstein since my female Mexican coworker sits behind me. I'm also not allowed to sing Py by Rammstein either.
This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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That’s alright, somehow we got on the topic of the bathroom renos at work and how someone went into the wrong one... I am not allowed to randomly burst into song, particularly if it’s “the restroom door said gentleman”... I think it was bulky some guy named bob rivers?"It's a joke not a dick. No need to take it so hard."
“Here’s $10, go to Walmart and buy a houseplant. Carry it around to make up for all of that oxygen you waste.”Comment
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Fire is not the appropriate way to dispose of paperwork with personal information on them. Yes, even if the shredder is busted again."It's a joke not a dick. No need to take it so hard."
“Here’s $10, go to Walmart and buy a houseplant. Carry it around to make up for all of that oxygen you waste.”Comment
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