Nothing like a visit from LP!

[Lady Heather]

OK! We have SC: Sucky Customers and now we have SW: Sucky Workers. Or STUPID Workers, either is appropriate.
This in no way should be seen as promoting stealing. It's just for laughing at the stupidity of idiots.
When trying to steal from you employer Do Not Do the following:
Ask a member of your Managment staff if it's OK to steal from another store.
Don't ask if "trading" is OK. (I steal from my store for you and you steal from your store for me)
Steal from another store and then offer a piece of your loot to a member of managment.
Steal from your own store and offer a piece of your loot to a member of managment.
One word: CAMERAS
Never wear stuff you stole from work to work.
No, Discards are not "freebies"
No, Damaged goods are not "up for grabs"
When you hear LP is comming "Shit! Who rated me out?" is not a good response.
Do not report an employee for changing their time card if you are stealing from the registers, thinking LP will let it slide since you reported that other guy.
Do not try to bribe the LP guy/girl
Don't tell your friends they can take stuff, if they get caught they might rat you out
Don't tell your coworkers your stealing, especialy if there is a $$$ reward for reporting theft
No, you can't turn yourself in for the $$$ reward

[matty]

Well here I was, chuckling away at this list, and then I got to the very last line:

No, you can't turn yourself in for the $$$ reward

and...

Man, how on Earth do you figure that one out?

So, Lady Heather's SW/Co-worker, I guess this means you think that next time you get a speeding ticket, you simply confess, then the cops pay you?

[Stormraven]

Okay, I've seen the acronym for a while, but still can't figure out what it means. LP? Local Patrol, maybe?

[Darkforge]

Okay, I've seen the acronym for a while, but still can't figure out what it means. LP? Local Patrol, maybe?

It stands for "Loss Prevention"

[Stormraven]

Ah. Thanks.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I shudder to think of what kind of dry-pool diving team members Lady Heather's store hires if they are doing everything on that list.

[Lady Heather]

Not every example of idiocy is from my store. The Loss Prevention Investigator had some excelent stories, (the turning yourself in one is true). After LP left (along with a co-worker) we started coming up with a list, feel free to add your own....

When Trying To Steal Do Not...
Damage Out $1,000 worth of product every shift
Don't put the night deposit in your purse infront of the bank security camera
No you can't "borrow" the Disco Ball and Strobe Lights for you party
No one's going to belive you're taking home product for a "quality control survey"
Don't ask a co-worker to break the $100 you just stole
Once more: CAMERAS STUPID!

[marasbaras]

No, Discards are not "freebies"

What does a store do with discards?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

What does a store do with discards?

We do one of three things with ours:

1. Send them the DC as salvage (which I guess gets destroyed there).
2. Send them to the return center (whatever that is)
3. Destroy the item at store.

When you have a defective item, the sku or upc of the item is typed into the computer which tells us which of the three things to do with it.

[Becks]

No one's going to belive you're taking home product for a "quality control survey"

Maybe if you offered to let people watch...

[lordlundar]

What does a store do with discards?

Where I used to work, they were labeled as DIF Which was Destroy In Field. This consisted of a hammer, a flat surface, and an overenthusiastic worker.

Often times, I needed the hammer simply to keep staff from taking said items home. Like hell I was going to lose my job so they could get a freebie.

[Meadhands]

Do NOT Leave a list of store items entitled "Steal these" in the breakroom.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Maybe if you offered to let people watch...

That'd work well with nighties, teddies and other lacy undergarments.

[Ad_Astra]

What does a store do with discards?

Send them to the trash compactor...

Which burns me incredibly---we recently junked some older games systems, nothing wrong with them, still new in the boxes..we were ordered to destroy them and put them in the compactor.

If they're just getting checked out of the system why not give them to someone or an org that could use them? My suggestion that since they were considered "lost merch" by corporate that we donate them to the local after-school program or children's shelter (I'm sure they would be appreciated) was met with eye rolls. I think it's so wasteful to throw away something like that. Then again maybe I'm just still too idealistic.

[CancelMyService]

Yeah, that's such a waste to destroy functional returned products, especially when a great deal of "defective" returns were because the buyer couldn't be bothered to learn how to use it.

Not to mention discarded electronics is one of the biggest causes of pollution, all the metals and whatnot leaking into the soil......