Not again! *sob* *rant*

[Horsetuna]

So I messed up gain today at work... I didnt do someting right when processing payment cheques, and After my boss kept asking me "What did you do wrong?" I stared at it for a good 15 seconds trying to spot the errors (Which I couldnt), and then whenever I tried to say somethign she'd interrupt with "What did you do wrong? What's wrong in this invoice?" and basically flustering me.

Then she went on with the 'You haven't been payign attention!" comments again, and I started to get a little bit upset visibly... my eyes watered though it wasn't a full out bawl. I went through about ten tissues in two minutes.

Then she said I cost us 2000 dollars (CAD).

Course, THAT didnt help, and now i'm on lunch break bawling my eyes out again (I luckily can walk home for lunch).

What's wrong with me? I haven't heard back from the Counselling people (though likely they only will communicate by phone, which I dont have now) or anyone, I can't get in to see a doctor cause nobody is taking patients (And I can't afford antidepressants at the price they are, and the other ones I took in the past never worked or made me fall asleep - costing me my OTHER good paying job, so now i'm terrified of taking drugs), and I panick over the smallest things no matter HOW HARD I try.

I'm so fired, and I can't even get another job now.

Heck, not even A&W or the fast food restaurants answered my resumes when I submitted them. That sucks when FAST FOOD wont even hire you.

I have skills. I'm smart. Just... not in a way that gets me a decent, live-on job.

[Der Cute]

HT:
Did they say fired? Were you handed your walking papers?

Cutenoob

[Horsetuna]

No. But my previous experiences with such situations never end well.

I got back from work and my boss reassured me I was doing fine though, and I'm going to be getting myself a wee journal book and basically writing down STEP BY STEP instructions on how to do EVERYTHING. She supports the idea. I dont know if they fixed the 2.5 k mistake (It was 2415 some odd bucks).

[Ree]

I used to have a book for my cashiers with every single scenario I could think of, and all the steps listed, one by one.

It took me close to a year to put together, but it was worth it.

I had photocopies of every type of invoice or transaction. I tried to anticipate everything before it happened so they would have a reference to go to should something happen.

The cashiers loved it.

I am a listmaker. I learn better by being able to read and then do, so I have always found it helped me to keep a small notebook with things I wanted to remember.
I hope that works for you.

Let this be a lesson, though.
You assumed the worst based on your past experiences and spent your entire lunch stressing.
Reading your post, I was positive you were going to say you hadn't gone back to work, and just assumed you were fired, so I was surprised to read that you went back. Good for you.

Let that be a good lesson that fear and the dread of what will happen can be self defeating. Sometimes we can talk ourselves into all kinds of terrible situations, only to find that the actual experience wasn't nearly as painful as we thought.

[blas]

I must agree. Wait it out and see what happens. I know, that seems easier said than done, but just try to take your mind off of it and wait until your next scheduled day.

We have troubleshooting guides and pages involving if/when where I work too, Ree, and they really help when I'm training. But that's only if the trainees are willing to reference it

[marasbaras]

Really stick to making the journal. Show your boss that you're serious about being a good worker and not making such mistakes in the future.

A good boss will appreciate your efforts.

[Horsetuna]

Really stick to making the journal. Show your boss that you're serious about being a good worker and not making such mistakes in the future.

A good boss will appreciate your efforts.

not always. I threw away 100 dollars in antidepressants and bought a different xpensive one at a former job because the first was making me drowsy. I TOLD them this that it would take a bit to leave my system, and they still let me go for 'sleeping on the job' (IE, I passed out/fell asleep due to the drugs.)

But I'll try to keep it better. ETA: Apparently, the Store Manager likes me, according to one of the techs, and my Supervisr is 'abrasive' to everyone, even the guys who know what they're doing. So I gotta jsut thicken my skin, or hope she realizes she's the one putting me in tears.

sometimes I wish I could be brainwashed into 'not caring as much' though :P

[powerboy]

Heck, not even A&W or the fast food restaurants answered my resumes when I submitted them. That sucks when FAST FOOD wont even hire you.

I have skills. I'm smart. Just... not in a way that gets me a decent, live-on job.

I have been there. Infact I have gone back. Well I do have a job right now, but I am looking. I put in at a warehouse job, I have the experience. It was going to be better pay, weekends off. Did I get it, nope. Why, they told me because I didn't have experience. WTF????? I am so tired of where I work.

[Horsetuna]

Well, we had a big meetng today. ONe thing about my boss is he's... wordy. Repetitive.

The meeting went well though, it wasn't a lecture, and he says we're doing a great job, and was just heaping on the compliments.

To be honest, this is the first boss I'e ever had who talks like this. He makes up for my supervisor to be sure.

So it seems I'm not fired. I am trying harder anyways.

[Raieth]

If the AD made you sleepy why not take it at night? That's what I do. Mine makes me pass out after about an hour so I take it at night before bed. It's so worth it. I feel like a new person now!

Where I live there is a pharmacy program called "Pharma-care" that helps pay for perscription drugs. It make my $50 dollar bottle $19 instead. You should see if there is something like that where you live.

[Horsetuna]

I /was/ taking it at night. I'd sleep fine, be awake in the mornig... t hen just nod off again. I tried coffee (which I hate), going to bed earlier, taking the pill in the afternoon... Nothing seemed to work.

And it doesnt matter now. That was last year.

[purplecat41877]

How about putting chocolate syrup in coffee? That's what I do.

[Horsetuna]

I'ma ctually not supposed to HAVE caffene. I have very slight Wolf-Parkinsons, so coffee caffene makes my heart all jittery more than with most people (and that's just as bad as falling asleep as I can't think).

Anyways, that's two years in the past now. No need to worry about it now