You Know You've Been in Retail Too Long... (Home Edition)

[HawaiianShirts]

I think someone else wrote a thread like this before, but I can't find it. If I remember correctly, though, that other thread (I couldn't find it when I tried searching) was based on experiences while out shopping that prove retail employment has taken over your life. This one is based for experiences at home that prove the same thing.

So here are mine (these just happened to me). Feel free to add your own.

Signs You've Been in Retail Too Long

The Home Edition

1 ... when you look at your living room bookshelf and mentally start designing a planogram for it.
2 ... if, while wondering if you're putting the books back where they belong, you go to your computer and attempt to look up the planogram.
3 ... you realize the ridiculousness of this idea and tell your spouse / SO / roommate about it, but he or she suggests a bookshelf plano might not be a bad idea after all.

[Sylvia727]

4. You face your bookshelf...and your roommate's bookshelf
5. You answer your phone with your work spiel
6. You refer to your non-work friends as coworkers
7. You refer to your professors as managers
8. You imagine a monster in your video games as a specific co-irker/SC and then blow its face off

[powerboy]

9) You call your parents "managers"
10) On your day off, you keep watching the clock
11) You start putting your DVD's into different categories & into ABC order.
12) You start saying code words from your work, to your buddies

[Dark-Star]

From a few friends - even I'm not this looney:

13.You find a SC's house on Google Maps and pray for it to be incinerated by a bolt of lightning.
14.Create a model of their house for a war-flight simulator and simulate bombing/shooting missiles into it.
15.Display a special optical illusion on a computer screen/tv. Show a repeat SC the screen/tv and try to hypnotize them. (was never told if it worked...)
16.Two words: voodoo doll.
17.Have fun with the movable letters on your co-irkers' desk nameplates. Bonus for x-rated things on the 'bring your kid to work' day.
18.Before returning a computer, amplify the windows startup sound file until it's ear-blasting even when played at low volume.
19.Call in an anonymous tip that there's someone who escaped from a mental institution at your store - who just happens to look very much like your boss.

[ArenaBoy]

20. When your friends are hosting a party the first thing that comes to mind is parking arrangements.

21. A family friend HIRES you to do parking for a wedding.

[Lace Neil Singer]

22. You look at your watch and see the time in units of money.

23. When someone says, "Hello" to you, you automatically reply with "Hello and how may I help you?"

[RetailActress]

You take your own clothes out of your own dryer and "precision fold" them, yet lack the S - M - L - XL stickers to place over the fold.