First words

[TTAZ]

Advanced Flea's post reminded me of this one from yesterday:

Off the clock maintenance guy shows up with his little toddler girl. I asked how old she was, and was told that she's 13 1/2 months old. I was surprised because she is walking around like she is born to do it, and commented as such. The maintenance guy says she walks, she splashes the potty to tell them when she has to go, and she says a few words like "mommy", "daddy", "juice", and "keys".

Right after the word "keys" left his lips, this little darling throws her head back and yells "SHIT!!!!" at the top of her lungs.

It was fantastic.

[olstar18]

LMAO!! Looks like the kid learned a new word!

[Sheldonrs]

Maybe she found a new way to say she has to go potty. lol!!

[Geek King]

Or maybe daddy loses his keys alot.

[bainsidhe]

My friend's little girl wanted to go outside, so she picked up her shoes and, clear as day, said "shiiit". Apparently she couldn't say shoe, so she chose a close alternative. Which is pretty funny, considering she kept asking about her shoes.

Not as bad as my little niece, though. She couldn't say frog, so at the park with the church group, my sister ran around hurridly explaining why little daughter kept saying "fuck, fuck" as she tried to climb on the frog statue.

[PCGameGuy]

Heh, evil uncle PCGameGuy.

Had a friend who rented, and didn't like his landlady much. I'd go over and get to talking, and invariably I'd go on with the old SNL skit by Eddie Murphy, 'Kill The Landlord'. Spent quite a bit of time with his son, just going over it, making sure he got 'kill the landlord' right.

I found it hilarious when he told me about his trip to the laundry room when the landlady was there the next day.

Sigh, good times.

Images, By Tyrone Green

'Dark and lonely on a summer night. Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.'
'Watchdog barking, do he bite? Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.'
'Slippin' in window, breaking neck, then his house I start to wreck.'
'Got no reason, what the heck! Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.'
'C-I-L-L my land lord.'

[Dreamstalker]

"Fuck" and "shit" were two of my first words. apparently. The house we lived in had a fireplace, and my dad was trying to get a fire started. I was of course sitting on the stack of logs on the floor watching intently. Something happened that resulted in a huge cloud of soot into the living room, Dad starts swearing up a storm and the rest, as they say, is history. Amazingly, I didn't get in trouble for it, just told never to say that in public.

(on hearing the tale, a friend was pondering if I was even then practicing for a tech support career. Cthulhu knows for awhile I was living the "kid knows more about computers than the parents" dream)

[SteeleDragon78]

sadly my first words were "fuckingcarburetor" but to me it was all one word.

my father had a 1975 vw rabbit that had been a flood car. so needless to say it was a trial when it broke down. and i learned most of my extensive vocabulary from that little car

[Horsetuna]

I dont know what my first words were, but I /was/ quite the innocent darling as a child..

One time, mom said I was staring at a pair of gentlemen with turbans (I dont remember ... Sheiks?), and she asked me what was wrong. I pointed at them and loudly said "MOM LOOK!, its GENIES!"

She never did tell me how they reacted.

Another time, this one I remember, I was in a store with her and this guy in a wheelchair rolled up. I stared at him, then walked all the way around the wheelchair several times, before asking him "WHere are your legs?"

I think he said something like 'I forgot them at home' or something, heh.

I miss being cute and innocent and naive.

[JoitheArtist]

My parents were pretty careful not to swear around me and my sister, so my dad was very surprised one day when this conversation ensued.

young Joi: Daddy? What's ass mean?
Dad: *trying not to panic* Um....it depends. Where did you hear it?
Young Joi: Oh...like in asscan.
Dad: *remembering that my pronunciation wasn't so good* You mean, "ashcan"?
Young Joi: Yeah
Dad: *breathes sigh of relief*

Poor dad. I scared him for a minute.

[Ghengis51]

One day years ago my youngest nephew who could barely speak was building a tower of blocks. He got it pretty high before it collapsed. He just looked at the block, looked at my sister and goes "well, shit". My sister fell on the floor laughing.