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  • Bellydancing with a sad tummy (long)

    First real post, woot!

    So I am a professional bellydancer.

    The owner of one restaurant where I perform is just totally rude to his dancers. To be fair, he comes from a culture where dancers are on the same social rung as prostitutes. He just doesn't get the fact that bellydancers in the States are often educated professionals... I even know a few dancers with PhD's. But even though dancer after dancer has lectured him -- and many have quit and let him know why -- he continues to be a jerk. He expects dancers to come in as soon as he snaps his fingers, even though most of us live in the 'burbs, and gets annoyed when we remind him that he needs to give an hour's notice. It's like we're not real people and can materialize in an instant. He hits on the dancers and is also a huge pain in the ass about paying. His favorite excuse is that he "ran out of checks."

    Tonight I had food poisoning and it was my night to dance. I should have looked for a sub at the first sign of tummy trouble and instead tried to suck it up and just deal, so I bear a great deal of responsibility for what happened. But I told him as soon as I realized how sick I was (over an hour before the show) and asked him to look for a sub right away. After he lied to me and told me he'd called everyone and nobody could do it, I reiterated, "I can do a set if nobody else can come in." He finally DID call right before showtime, and made a point of doing so in front of me so I could hear his passive-aggressive remarks. Of course by then everyone had eaten dinner and had a full tummy and couldn't dance. If he'd just called when I first told him to he could have probably found a sub.

    It is a point of pride that I have never cancelled a gig, I danced on a sprained ankle once. I did a private party -- the most demanding type of gig -- the night right after I found out my dad had cancer. NEVER cancelled, ever.

    So I guzzled down some tea with cumin to settle my stomach and danced even though I'd been sick in his bathroom and felt like crap. I danced a shorter set (18 minutes instead of 25, which is about as long as one table can pay attention to a dancer anyway, since I was there at the request of one large group and the rest of the restaurant was empty) and I offered a huge discount. Luckily the people at the table were an awesome audience, they clapped and sang along and were soooo nice. They never found out I was sick and I'm sure didn't even notice that the set was a little shorter.

    He always keeps dancers waiting, too. I was there for three hours altogether and only about 20 minutes of that was spent dancing and changing. I swear I had to sit around and wait 45 minutes after the show was over to get paid, even though the owner must have known all I wanted to do was go home and get into bed! The restaurant was almost empty so there was no way the owner was busy. From him I wasn't expecting an "I admire your work ethic, Zoe." But I didn't even get a "thank you!" After sitting there for all that time waiting -- and seeing him wander in and out of the kitchen and walk past me several times -- he came out and asked, "OK, so do I pay you for dancing tongiht?"

    Um, yes, sorry. I still came here from the suburbs and danced for you!

    I apologized again for being such a pain in the ass about dancing and having to shorten the set and all he said was a quick "Don't worry about it" with no eye contact and left.

    I only took home $40 from the restaurant, a big discount off the standard $65 for a 25-minute set. I live in a place where the cost of living is very high, so for the time I spent there I made barely a living wage for dancing when I was miserably ill, and that's not counting driving time. The upside is that that really nice table gave me $15 in tips!

    OK, now that I've gotten that out of my system I actually will go to bed.

  • #2
    First let me applaud you for doing something as belly dancing. If I had the physique and the assets for doing such a thing I would.

    Second congrats on the ethic and I hope your tummy is feeling better after some well deserved sleep.

    Third your pseudo boss is a jerk and a pig. I would report such actions but then you wouldn't be dancing there anymore eh? So it's a double edged sword and on that note..

    Ever think about dancing with a sword, boss boy might change his tune if he knew his dancer knows how to handle such a blade and might pay up faster.

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    • #3
      Quoth Aethian View Post
      Ever think about dancing with a sword, boss boy might change his tune if he knew his dancer knows how to handle such a blade and might pay up faster.
      Actually I DID dance with a sword, lol. Didn't drop it on my tummy as usual, of course, but people think the blunt 2-pound sword is sooooooo cool.

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      • #4
        See thats when it needs to be a shiny sharp one... Could always do the Dueling Cock's dance from Mexico. But then that one gets bloody and you need someone to do it with and...erm...um...nevermind. *coughs*


        But still I envy you now.

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        • #5
          You ever noticed how we have the most fascinating people here on CS? We've got people who work at zoos, factory grunts like myself, managers, clerks, people who work in libraries, nightclub bouncers, bartenders, professional bellydancers...
          Drive it like it's a county car.

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          • #6
            I was thinking that as I read the thread - 'Belly dancer - that's new. I bet she has some unusual stories.'

            Wecome Zoe Hates You, and please don't hate us.
            "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

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            • #7
              blunt 2-pound sword
              hmmm... well you know a sword hilt may be good for chasing away sleezeballs from hitting on you.

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              • #8
                Wow a real bellydancer! I wish I could try that!

                If the restaurant owner is that big of a jerk, can't you just work for everyone else and not work for him?
                Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Aethian View Post
                  First let me applaud you for doing something as belly dancing. If I had the physique and the assets for doing such a thing I would.
                  If you're female, you have the required assets*. Even if you think they're too small/big/whatever. As for physique... that builds up with regular excercise over time. And if you're still too embarrased, consider wearing a more ethnic outfit instead of a cabaret outfit.

                  * Or male, though male dancers usually have a slightly different style.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Gurndigarn View Post
                    If you're female, you have the required assets*. Even if you think they're too small/big/whatever. As for physique... that builds up with regular excercise over time. And if you're still too embarrassed, consider wearing a more ethnic outfit instead of a cabaret outfit.

                    * Or male, though male dancers usually have a slightly different style.
                    I'm mis matched in that area right now and exercise really isn't the problem for me at the moment. Since I was formally diagnosed and put under Dr's care for my diabetes I've actually lost 30 lbs and am down to size 18 jeans from size 24's. However due to my small rear I have a 'muffin top' kinda in the front. Vicious cycle.


                    Now back on topic, kinda, how does one decide to do that as a second/hobby job?

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                    • #11
                      If it helps any, some of the best bellydancers are fat.

                      Supposedly it's because they dance so much, their muscles continue to stretch and after several years they extend and make the dancers look fat.

                      But that was what I was told many years ago. I don't know if that's still true.
                      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        That just....uh....yea that just doesn't sound too good.

                        Yea....um.... *erg*

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                        • #13
                          But it takes YEARS for it to get that way. Bellydancing is a great way to limber up and shed pounds though.
                          Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                          Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                          Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            My best friend is in a "goddess-sized" dance troupe, and they are AWESOME. My body certainly isn't perfect, either. Everyone can and should bellydance, IMHO. I also happen to know for a fact that one of the dancers in my town actually deliberately chows down on burgers the week before a big performance just so she can get a belly to dance with. Wish I had her problem...

                            I'm probably gonna make this my last month at that restaurant. Trouble is that almost every restaurant owner in town is like this, and many are far worse in terms of hitting on their dancers. I don't mean to sound racist, but a lot of the middle-eastern men who own the restaurants come from cultures where dancers are basically considered glorified prostitutes and the idea of MARRYING a bellydancer would bring shame on your whole family. Sad but true. Well-meaning students who dance for free are also hurting professionals who are trying to charge only the going rate, so paying gigs are scarce to begin with.

                            Not to mention that audiences sometimes suck. People are stupid, oi vey. "Why are you listed in the directory as an African dancer?... Wait, no way, Egypt is in AFRICA????"

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                            • #15
                              .... sounds like they're in a state of ... denial.

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