Lines Used at Work (from the old boards)

[purplecat41877]

Does anyone have any lines that are used at work? Not ones customers use but ones you do?

Example #1:
Customer: Sorry I broke the eggs.
Me: You didn't break the eggs, the eggs broke themselves.

Example #2:
Bagger: What do we have here?
Me: Groceries.

Example #3:
Bagger: How would the customer like his/her bags packed?
Me: Very carefully.

Example #4:
Customer: Sorry for the inconvenience.
Me: You didn't cause it, the register did.

I've said the things in examples 2 and 3. I've said things similar to examples 1 and 4.

[Cyanocobalamin]

This was from today:
Customer: What happened in here? (referring to the new store layout)
Me: Katrina's big sister. (Alluding to the hurricane)

Next time I might say "Mt. Rainier" (volcano) or "The Big One" (earthquake)

[Lace Neil Singer]

Customer: Are you free?
Me: No, I'm very expensive actually.

[Imogene]

Just about anybody: "Well, that was cheap."
Me: "Yeah, but don't let it get around, okay? I have a rep to maintain..." *shifty eyes*

[Naaman]

Just about anybody: "Well, that was cheap."
Me: "Yeah, but don't let it get around, okay? I have a rep to maintain..." *shifty eyes*

Customer: You're a gentleman (after me doing something minor\oinconsequential)
Me: There goes my reputation

[WonTon]

Customer: You are very pretty/I like your lipstick/You got it goin' on/You'd look better with no clothes on/That's a sexy sweater/Baby got back...and so on...
Me: Thank you. My husband thinks so too.

and they are the ones who act totally offended by my comment, calling me rude. Yeesh.

[Seanette]

Customer: You are very pretty/I like your lipstick/You got it goin' on/You'd look better with no clothes on/That's a sexy sweater/Baby got back...and so on...
Me: Thank you. My husband thinks so too.

and they are the ones who act totally offended by my comment, calling me rude. Yeesh.

Wonder how they'd react if you said "Thank you. My girlfriend thinks so too."

[WonTon]

LoL, that would be encouraging for some!

[Comp_geek]

Customer: "Where's your printer ink?"
Me:" Right in front of you, beneath the big INK AND TONER sign"

[COMINATCHA]

When I worked at Target (which is real big with 3 different levels)
I sometimes got people asking me..."How do I get out of here?"

Me: "I've been asking myself that question for a while now"

[Jaden]

Earlier today I accidentally bit my tongue while bagging and was joking about going home on injury. This was right at the end of the order, when I would normally be saying "Have a good day".

Cashier: You can't go home over something like that! Just don't talk.
Me: But then I'd get fired for not telling all the customers to have a good day. *turning to customer* Have a good day!

Everyone laughed, including the customers behind her

[bars.of.a.rhyme]

Them: Do you guys rent movies?
Me: Nope.
Them: Uh...
Me: This is an art gallery. You come in, look at the cover art on the boxes, and then you go home, without a movie.
Them: Without a movie?
Me: Filmless. Sans DVD. Without a movie.

Them: (After complaining to me about a late fee) I'll be seeing you again to talk about this!
Me: Not if I see you first.

Yes, I actually said that last thing (it just popped out!) but she didn't hear me.

[CherryCokeKissez]

Male Customer: You have nice legs.
Me: Thanks, you too!

*I wear a knee-length skirt while all the other hostesses wear pants, none of them can stand wearing pantyhose, which we're required to wear if we wear skirts. I guess my legs look good next to a bunch of pants...lol

[lordlundar]

Guy comes in with 5 energy-filled little boys.

Me: Can I help you with anything?
Him: I have an eight hour car ride with them.
<looks at kids, looks at him>
Me: So a case of valium?

(Really happened, no lie! )

[toolbert]

I used this one yesterday:

Customer: Excuse me, do you work here?
Me: Well I sure hope I do or this place is screwed!