A dilemma - what to do?

[Fera Festiva]

I need some advice. Can anyone help me?

Backstory: because the library I work for is part of a college, we are only supposed to take days off during the holidays - i.e. not during term-time. This policy is something our manager puts in place, not a company policy, and she sometimes bends it. In special circumstances, she will let us - but we are talking about very special circumstances. I have posted about this manager once before - she can be nice (e.g. randomly bringing in cake and strawberries for everyone if we've been busy, paying for all the drinks at the Christmas meal), but also can be pretty nasty (she sometimes says really thoughtless or insensitive things, and often goes back on her word and that sort of thing). Not only that, but she has a habit of being really inconsistent.

More backstory: my Dad has managed to get tickets for the whole family to go and see Bruce Springsteen in November. Bruce is significant for our family (there is, of course, a separate issue around us all being so into Bruce Springsteen, but let's leave this one for now ), and this will be the first time we've managed to get enough tickets for all of us to go. The concert is also part of my brother and sister's 21st birthday celebrations.

The concert is in Birmingham, which is a five-hour train ride from where I live now. It's a Thursday night. Can you see where this is going?

Basically, my options are:

1) Pull the mother of all sickies: call in sick on the morning of the Thursday, and then turn up back at work on Monday morning "feeling much better, thanks!"

2) Throw myself on the mercy of my manager, explain that this is a big deal and a really significant family event and that the tickets cost a lot, remind her that I will only be missing one session "on desk" (ie dealing with customers) and the rest of the time I want off I'd only be in the office anyway (which she is usually much more accomodating about), and one of my co-workers has already agreed to cover for me - and hope she understands and lets me go.

There are a few other points which might come into play, too:

- The manager has, within the last year or so, had rather a lot of term-time-holiday herself, making it (theoretically) more difficult for her to refuse. Theoretically.

- I also need the afternoon off the following Friday, to travel to my hometown for my bro and sis's actual birthday (my family go in for big celebrations, alright? ) and I don't want to look too pushy or like I'm asking for special treatment or anything.

- If I take the pulling-a-sickie route, I will feel incredibly guilty and will worry about it for a long time. Hell, I've already lost sleep over what to do. On the other hand, if I confess all, I might not get to go. Double I'm not worried about missing the concert so much as I am about letting my family down and not getting to be with them.

- I have only spoken to one co-worker about this, and I trust her, and I know she won't say anything. So if I do pull a sickie, considering I am a good liar, my boss shouldn't have any reason to suspect.

Argh.

So... what to do? What would you do? Any advice will be gladly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

[evilhomer]

To answer your last question, I recently had the same dilemma, tickets bought and booked right at the start of a large project. I gave my boss two choices in a joking but serious manner, one week off or two weeks notice, (I was giving ample notice to get a replacement for that week). I happen to be in a position where I can pull a stunt that ballsy, I'm a valuable employee who would be difficult to replace full time. I'd advise against this route but hey, it worked for me.


On to yours, I hate the spot you're in. You want to go the honest route BUT, there's no turning back from it. Given that you've covered your bases, I think the situation merits time off, it's not like they'd be scrambling short-handed. I would certainly give you the time off and I see no reason why your manager wouldn't, but I don't know what goes on in her head. Look at her history, you stated she gives it to herself, but has she also granted the courtesy to others? When she has refused, why did she? Was it simply because of no replacement, or was she just being bitchy.

If she has always been reasonable then go for it. Really though, in your situation I'd play the sick card. Being honest is great and all but you miss out on the whole thing if you get a 'no'. Don't feel guilty, it's your job, your family is your life. You've already covered yourself so it's not like anyone will be hurt by it. Be honest the following Friday, an afternoon is a lot easier to get a 'yes' to than two whole days, plus if you can't get it, you'll only miss one dinner and still have the rest of the weekend. Springsteen is a one night, be there or miss it event, honesty is too risky on that one.

That's my two cents, just don't get yourself on the jumbotron, K

[Gurndigarn]

- If I take the pulling-a-sickie route, I will feel incredibly guilty and will worry about it for a long time.
<snip>
So... what to do? What would you do? Any advice will be gladly appreciated.

I'ld tell her that you have an important family event, and need the day off. And if the question of what, say you have a family get together which will include time together, a family concert, etc. Make sure the word "family" comes before "concert"; it'll come across better.

If you don't get it off, go to the event anyway. Remind her you could have called in sick. But ultimately, go. If you get written up, so be it. You don't have to worry about a guilty conscience, and most importantly, you don't miss important family time.

[Depot Denizen]

I would try and work with the manager as quickly as possible. The concert is nearly a month away, so its not like you didn't give her enough warning. I would mention the extended holiday and see if that helps any. If she doesn't, is there any way you can talk to the bossman? Also, check with any coworkers and see if they want to bite for extra hours. Having a sub already planned is a great help.

[Fera Festiva]

Thanks guys. All your advice is useful, and also I'm glad that this isn't just me being weird.

I don't see my boss again until Monday, so I'm going to spend the weekend thinking very hard about this one.

Le sigh.

[Giggle Goose]

Hmm...

It also depends, I think, on how "good" you've been about requesting time off in the past. This past month, I called in sick for the first time EVER and I've been working since I was 14 (I'm 20 now). At first, I felt really guilty about it, but it was because a) I knew my absence wouldn't leave the store short-staffed and b) I go to college about 2 hours away from my family and I hadn't seen them in the LONGEST time. And they believed me since I hadn't tried to pull that crap before. so, if I were you, I would recommend calling in sick if you are a "model employee" (you sound responsible to me) because if you told the truth you run the risk of getting shut down. And if you try pulling a sickie AFTER that, your manager will know what's up. And HELLO, it's Bruce freakin' Springsteen, that's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!!!!!! By all means, do whatever you can to get there!!!! I wish you the best of luck!!!!!!!!

[Banrion]

If it were me, I would be upfront with the boss. You say you already have someone to cover your counter time, so what reason does she have to say no? Also can you maybe get ahead on some of the office work so that doesn't suffer in your absence?

[Salesmonkey]

Are you hourly or salary? If they don't have to pay you for time off, I can't imagine your boss having problems with your time off to see "The Boss".

And if they do have problems, maybe now is the time to look for another job. I recently went freelance, and although I'm making less money, it more than makes up for that in the whole ability to tell people to ##uck off when they are incontrovertibly annoying.