Velveeta!

[Barefootgirl]

We do a Secret Santa at work, and its always rigged for certain people. We assume that one day our ditzy sales manager will figure out why she is always the one who gets the feminine hygiene item, or the sex toy, or the inflatable sheep...but I've been there six years and she hasn't twigged yet. Last year, she got a thing called a She-Wee that allows women to pee standing up.

we also have a company camping trip in the summer. Attendance is entirely voluntary, but the numbers are always good because our company president gives us vast quantities of money to buy beer with.

[Tria]

We used to do a "Secret Santa," which I think is really dumb, because I have more than enough people to buy gifts for. If I want to give a gift, I will have a good reason and not because I picked their name out of a hat.

That's right up there with Valentine's Day back in grade school....

Me: You mean I have to give a stupid piece of paper to everyone?

Teacher: Yes.

Me: Even the jerks who beat me up on the playground?

Teacher: If I don't see it I can't do anything.... And we don't want anyone to feel left out.

Me: Besides, everyone ends up with the same amount, this is NOT so we can all feel warm and fuzzy. This is so we can show we like someone. I don't like that guy who beats me up or anyone else here and the feeling is mutual. I don't want cards and I won't give out any.


/end third grade flashback.

Sorry about that, it's just stupid because you either end up with EVERYONE getting something even the guy who caused no end of trouble. Or everyone gets their feelings hurt but the popular kids.

[AFpheonix]

We did a secret santa last year, it was pretty fun. I think the stupidest thing we ever tried was some santa hats our manager tried to get us to wear, but they were so bloody HOT we had to take them off or else we were gonna die of heatstroke.

The best thing this year so far was a pumpkin carving contest. I haven't gotten to hear the results yet, since I've been home sick. The last time I took any time off from work was in college when a goddamn horse kicked me in the side of the knee and I couldn't bend my leg, thus I couldn't get in the saddle. I don't like being useless.

Anyhoo, here's my pumpkin...

[Rapscallion]

Last year, she got a thing called a She-Wee that allows women to pee standing up.

I think the first commercial version of that was called the "p-mate" and was only available in The Body Shop.

Amazing what a person remembers...

Rapscallion

[wagegoth]

I miss the white elephant lunches we had at my old employer. We'd fight to get the cheesiest item.

Secret Santa blows chunks. I have gotten the stupidest, most clueless gifts. Unless it's just the people in your department participating, you can wind up with the most useless c**p. Hello, take a minute to walk by my desk and you can see what my interests are. Ack! Just get me a giftcard to the bookstore if you can't think of anything else.

The worst was a set of 3 soda cans turned into Christmas Carolers. Everybody just gasped in horror when I opened the box. I can't find a picture, but you take an empty can, bend it so that the top becomes the face with the opening as the mouth, then add yarn for hair, cloth for the body and a little craft paint to finish the face. I'm thinking it probably cost about $2 total. The limit for that year was $25, and it was not supposed to be a joke gift.

So many people came over to my desk to commiserate. They couldn't believe just how ugly the d**n things were.

[KuzcoLlama]

Oh wow, Wagegoth, that's a crappy gift.

My last gift were toe socks. Each toe has something on them. Santa, christmas tree, ruldolph, candy cane, and a snowman.

I love them!