Thursday's wtf-a-thon

[morgana]

My standard reply is "No matter how hard I try, I can't get another man pregnant."

Love it!

Nobody's asked me in years, but my usual answer to that question was along the lines of "I'd rather have a life." Got me yelled at a time or two, but if you're boorish enough to ask that question of someone you barely know . . .

My mom still thinks I made a mistake, but I don't. I married a man with five, raised three of them. I've done my time in the barrel, thanks.

As always, YMMV.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

"How did you get to be your age without having kids?!?"

"Well, none that I know of..."

[sms001]

"How did you get to be your age without having kids?!?"

"Well, none that I know of..."

And, of course, much funnier said by a woman....

[PepperElf]

OMG 29 and you don't have kids???
<jk> ... cos I'm 36 without kids yet.

Unless you want to count one cat (who is with sis right now), and my three potted plants. One of which I've named Mr. Ivy.

but no kids yet...

[Oberonsshadow]

I have kids...

They're just 4-legged and were raised in a barn, literally...

I have no desire for human children. My horses are plenty for me.

[Peppergirl]

Then there's the opposite:

I had my kids when I was 18 and 20 respectively. I look my age (40) or maybe just slightly younger, and my oldest who is almost 22 looks about 5 years older.

If we didn't look so much alike, we'd probably get alot of cougar looks.

When people do realize he's my kid and not my brother or something, I get alot of shocked looks and comments about 'starting young' etc. I'm not easily offended, but it does get annoying sometimes.

[LingualMonkey]

This reminds me of why we moved away from my family.

My wife and I had been married at this time for about 4 years and were still childless (this was by choice. We waited for kids until one of us had a thriving at-home business). At a family gathering, my sister uncorked her second or third personal bottle of wine, looked at my wife and said, "You guys have been married for awhile and don't have kids. Is there something wrong with one of you?"

My wife (and this is why I married her) replied, "No, but if there were, wouldn't this be awkward?"

She is awesome.

[Bella_Vixen]

I'm still relatively undecided about actually having kids.

My oldest (<---not really, but that's a story for another time) sister had her first kid when I was 8. My youngest neice (my brother's daughter) was born 4 years ago.

I've been baby sitting kids for most of my life. I'm kinda worn out. And this way, I can always send them back.

I don't really have the patience for it at the moment.

I told this story to my above-mentioned sister, and she was all: