More hilarious posters at work!

[ThePhoneGoddess]

The main call center here hires a lot of freaks and deadbeats. Apparently, their average length of employment over there is 22 days. We, over in the smaller and saner revenue assurance dept, like to amuse ourselved by reading the bulletins that are posted daily for all the morons---excuse me, CSR's---that work over there.

A few highlights:

PLEASE do not purposely make a mess in the bathroom. There are many people here who need to use those bathrooms and do not appreciate finding it vandalized and unusable. Your Mother does not work here, if you ACCIDENTALLY make a bathroom mess, please clean it up yourself. Thank you.

Do not have inappropriate conversations with your coworkers while on the call floor. Management does not have time to explain to a customer what 'tentacle rape' is. No do they want to know themselves. Thank you.

It is NOT ACCEPTABLE to go into the bathroom marked for the opposite sex. If you are caught doing so you will be immediately terminated. Thank you.

You do not get paid to socialize. There is no yelling, running or flirting allowed on the call center floor. Please save your socializing for your breaks. Thank you.

Stealing sodas from the soda machines is not acceptable and can result in termination. Just because you saw it on YouTube does not make it a good idea. We have installed cameras in the breakrooms, and if you are seen 'working' the machine you be immediately terminated. Thank you.

Please do not take calls using fake accents, cartoon voices or nonsense rhyming. It is distracting to our customers and will negatively affect your call score if you are monitored. Thank you.

You do not have the authority to 'make deals' with customers. If they do not have a valid way of paying for their minutes, advise them you cannot help them. Anyone caught 'making deals' will be immediately terminated. Thank you.

Our biggest question is always 'What the hell do they DO in their free time over there?'

[lordlundar]

okay, a couple of signs at my new location.

"Remember where you parked, you're going to be here a while."
"If you've been at <store> for more than 6 hours, phone the police and tell them you're not missing."

The sad part is, these signs are justified.

[moekosowl]

At my workplace, we have a "motivational" poster by the cafeteria which has a story about a man who throws back a big fish, but keeps a small one because he has a small frying pan.
I'm not sure of the point, but my question is this.....why can't the guy cut the big fish up or share with someone?

[Rapscallion]

Dare you to write that on there.

Rapscallion

[AirHostess]

Posters in the crew room:
'Recommend a friend to be cabin crew and get £200!'
A generic anti terrorism poster about reporting anything dodgy to the police.

Random crap about team work and how great being airline crew is.

[CrazedClerk]

The main call center here hires a lot of freaks and deadbeats. Apparently, their average length of employment over there is 22 days. We, over in the smaller and saner revenue assurance dept, like to amuse ourselved by reading the bulletins that are posted daily for all the morons---excuse me, CSR's---that work over there.

Wow and I thought my call center was bad, but that's just...wow.

We have posters at work that irritate me, they are just general "motivational" posters provided by corporate showing a happy, smiley white guy or girl wearing a headset and apparently loving their job. The funny thing is, staring at them makes me think even more of how much I hate working there.

[AFpheonix]

There's a new LP poster up in the office, with some sick guy reaching out to get into a bunch of pill bottles in the pharmacy.
Apparently we're not supposed to self medicate with the merchandise, who knew? Well, there goes one of the perks of my job

There's also an AARP sign up thing, where we're supposed to encourage old people to come hire on as cashiers and whatnot. But rather than have a picture of an old granny smiling toothlessly behind the counter, it's a 20 something manager.