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Marketing people make me laugh :P

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  • Marketing people make me laugh :P

    So Guitar Hero: Metallica is coming out today. Our company sent us a "launch kit" (it's not an actual kit, it's just small magazine with launch info inside) about a week and a half ago and it's a highly entertaining read.

    Apparently the developer thinks this game is going to be a wee bit bigger than it probably is. In my area I think the most pre-orders a store had on the game was maybe 20 and they didn't exactly send us a boatload of extra copies.

    HOWEVER, the stuff in the launch kit would make you think this game will be bigger than Halo 3.

    Amongst the gems in the book:

    - Ensure you have at least five staff members working today (we typically have only two or three on a sunday) and assign them all specific tasks relating to only that game. They want someone on the door for the first several hours after opening to do crowd control and limit the apparent rush of customers we're going get for this game. They also want someone else outside to "entertain the crowd" when the lines get uber long. (suuuuure....we'll get right on that)

    - Come to work dressed up like your favourite Metallica member (hahahahahahahahahaha.....No)

    - Encourage customers to dress up too. (Not likely for a game with this few preorders)

    - Expect a rush of customers wanting to buy the game when CHURCH services let out. ( Right because so many of those crazy metallica fans are devout church going folk. )

    - During the afternoon, assign one register to be used ONLY TO RING OUT
    GH: Metallica customers. (Wait, stop. What??? Most stores in this company have only two registers, three tops and less than 50 preorders and they think its a good idea to set aside an entire register for this one game???)

    Okay so I can understand some of these ideas might be feasible for larger stores with tons of preorders, but these make up a small percentage of our total stores. Most stores, like the one I work at, don't have a great many preorders and therefore this launch kit is really not relevant.

    However, I am sure we'll get another one of these fancy "launch kits" when Guitar Hero: Van Halen drops.
    Last edited by CrazedClerkthe2nd; 03-29-2009, 06:57 PM.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

  • #2
    Wow...their hopes are sure high.

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    • #3
      I do believe it was Dilbert that said marketing has a two-drink minimum.

      I guess now you guys get to be the engineers and explain to marketing why it's a bad idea to blow payroll to hell and turn your normal operations inside out over a game that they think is going to be more popular than it eventually will be.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #4
        Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
        However, I am sure we'll get another one of these fancy "launch kits" when Guitar Hero: Van Halen drops.
        Has GH:VH been confirmed yet? I thought it was still a rumor.

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        • #5
          Well, as long as the 'launch kit' is only suggestions, and your manager has more sense, I'd say it's just a perfect opportunity to mock marketing.

          If, on the other hand, they've got enough power to demand these things, they really, really, need a clue-by-four.
          The Case of the Missing Mandrake; A Jude Derry, Sorceress Sleuth Mystery Available on Amazon.

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          • #6
            Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
            - Expect a rush of customers wanting to buy the game when CHURCH services let out. ( Right because so many of those crazy metallica fans are devout church going folk. )
            You never know...
            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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            • #7
              Staff that have worked with me have found I'm a pretty go barometer for a game's popularity. In short, if they see me booking the day off, run.
              I AM the evil bastard!
              A+ Certified IT Technician

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              • #8
                Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                I do believe it was Dilbert that said marketing has a two-drink minimum
                Now that's an industry I can get passionate about. *sip*


                Quoth lordlundar View Post
                Staff that have worked with me have found I'm a pretty go barometer for a game's popularity. In short, if they see me booking the day off, run.
                What's the reading, M. Atmospheric Pressure?
                "For the love of all that is holy and 4 things that aren’t but feel pretty good anyway" ~ Gravekeeper

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                • #9
                  Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
                  - Expect a rush of customers wanting to buy the game when CHURCH services let out. ( Right because so many of those crazy metallica fans are devout church going folk. )
                  Quoted for sake.

                  That's great, are they going to say the same when Guitar Hero (or Rock band) NIN or Marylin Manson comes out? Heh, go to church then jam out with the music from Antichrist Superstar.
                  Quote Dalesys:
                  ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

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                  • #10
                    Quoth HorrorFrogPrincess View Post
                    What's the reading, M. Atmospheric Pressure?
                    Not even tripping a drizzle warning. Metallica music may be popular, but I don't recall an album in that level of demand for several years, let alone anything marketing them.

                    Of course, their draconian protectionism of their name can also be a factor.
                    I AM the evil bastard!
                    A+ Certified IT Technician

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                    • #11
                      I don't think we sold a single copy of the game yesterday.

                      I am anticipating some buzz around the upcoming Beatles Rock Band set, though. If EA is smart, this will be a Christmas release since the box will be $249 versus $199.
                      "Sigh, I'm going to Hell.....but I'm going with a smile on my face." -- Gravekeeper

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Mike Taylor View Post
                        I am anticipating some buzz around the upcoming Beatles Rock Band set, though. If EA is smart, this will be a Christmas release since the box will be $249 versus $199.
                        And maybe you can dress up like Ringo then

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                        • #13
                          besides the fact, metallica music has been available for download through Xbox live for months now...

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                          • #14
                            Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post

                            - Expect a rush of customers wanting to buy the game when CHURCH services let out. ( Right because so many of those crazy metallica fans are devout church going folk. )

                            I could introduce you to my brother, if you'd like.
                            I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                            Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth dendawg View Post
                              Has GH:VH been confirmed yet? I thought it was still a rumor.
                              Well, if it does come out, you'll have to switch singers halfway through and won't be allowed to sing anything from the first half of the game unless both the singer and guitarist get really drunk.
                              The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                              "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                              Hoc spatio locantur.

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