Repsac being a loon. (Fun with condoms)

[repsac]

This is a couple of stories from me centering around condoms. No sex here, just me being silly.

1.) I was about to get off work, heading about the store trying to put everything back where it went. My cart was pretty full, and then near the very bottom I dragged out this box of Condoms. Big condoms. "Studded. For her pleasure" types. YOu know the kind. Grumping at this thing, I decided I really didn't want to walk all the way over the store to drop them off. Spotting an unattended buggy I just casually dropped them in and went to clock out.

A few minutes later as I was about to leave, I swung by the registers to grab some soda and things before I left. There was this elderly couple in front of me, and I watched to my amusement/horror as the lady reached into the bottom of her buggy to remove that box of condoms I'd dropped in there. Looking at them for a long moment she turned to her husband and said "Albert, do you really think we'll need these?" His look was classic. Just this smug smile.

2.) In one of my crazier moments in college, I grabbed a handful of condoms from a friend of mine and headed up to K-mart. At the time they were still giving away balloons for kids. Heading that way, I dilligently filled each condom up with helium; tied a string on them and pawned them off on kids. These things were huge, and very brightly colored. After that,I turned and wandered off through the store watching these kids parent's reactions. The manager had watched me do it, and even though he was getting ripped a new one every so often, I'd watched him laugh his arse off after each one. After that, I was banned from the helium tank.

[Becks]

Repsac, you are my hero. :swoon:

Maybe you can add those to the "not allowed to do at work" thread.

[Kitty]

I concur whole heartedly!

[lordlundar]

After that, I was banned from the helium tank.

Gee, I wonder why.

[kerrisan]

Ohh, I'll have to try #1 when I'm bored at Wal-Mart.

[Crosshair]

Ah yes, the magic of Helium. I was helping at a school function with my mom, who is a teacher, and got to play with it.

T = Teacher handing out baloons.
Mom = My mom
Me = Me

T: Go around the corner fill some more baloons from the tank. Do about 20.
Me: OK.
*10 min later*
Me: OK, here are 10, I'll go back and finish.
T: Sounds good.
*10 min later.*
T: Ah, I see you have the rest of the baloons.
Me: (Sounding like Daffy Duck) Yup, here you go.
*Little kids around me just start laughing.*
Me: (Still sounding like Daffy Duck)What? What's so funny?
Mom: OK, that's enough helium, you get to go collect tickets for the rest of the night.

My mom was NOT happy with me.

/Totaly worth it.

[Myra]

One Christmas at the grocery store, we got in all these seasonal signs like "Holiday Baking Needs" and such with our logo on the bottom. Our store manager gave them to the porter on duty (the maintenence guy) and asked him to get as much done as he could this evening when he wasn't busy. (The maintenence department had the tall sticks they'd need to attach the signs to the ceiling.)

Well it was dead, and the maintenence guy had very little do to, so he set forth putting up the signs. He had the plan as to which sign went on which isle, but he got an evil thought. The sign that read "Holiday Goodies" that was supposed to go over the seasonal candy isle ended up RIGHT ABOVE the condoms. Nobody, not even the manager ever saw it. No customers complained, nothing. It stayed there 'til New Years when it was time to take them down.

It was hilarious.

[Ree]

Ohh, I'll have to try #1 when I'm bored at Wal-Mart.

Yeah, I read that very thing in an email I got once. It was #1 on the list.
(The rest of the list just annoyed me.)

I thought I remembered reading that 'condom' balloon gag one time, too, but maybe I'm mistaken.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Incidently, I never buy condoms at the supermarket where I work. I've only recently started buying fags there, too. Guess I just want them to think I'm perfect.

[thegiraffe]

I've only recently started buying fags there, too. Guess I just want them to think I'm perfect.

Alright..... for those of us on the OTHER side of the pond (i.e. America), fags = cigarettes, not....well...I'm sure we all know the other meaning.

And as far as condoms, perhaps the funniest/most informative thing I've seen done with them was my freshman year in college. A lady came into one of my classes, and after a brief lecture, proceeded to unwrap a condom and place it on her head (the one with eyes, ears, nose, and a mouth) and pull it down to her nose. She then 'blew it up' (I'm sensing this could come across wrong on SO many levels) to show us that if a guy uses an excuse that he's 'too big', he's full of BS. This was one of the condoms that you can get for FREE from student health services. They allow like 10/week! Holy freaking crap. How do you have time for 10 scews/week AND school?

Ok ok ok I'll be good. It just struck me as incredibly entertaining, but I'll never forget it.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Raps is British, so I'm sure he'd be laughing at you Americans laughing at that just as much as I am. I tend to have a bit of a giggle every time I see a noob call someone a cigarette.

[MadMike]

A lady came into one of my classes, and after a brief lecture, proceeded to unwrap a condom and place it on her head (the one with eyes, ears, nose, and a mouth)

I would hope that she wouldn't have had the other kind.

[rvdammit]

Raps is British, so I'm sure he'd be laughing at you Americans laughing at that just as much as I am. I tend to have a bit of a giggle every time I see a noob call someone a cigarette.

Of course there's the reciprocal "Rolling a fag" causing much shock to the Statesiders.

[Depot Denizen]

Two countries separated by a common language

[Kogarashi]

And as far as condoms, perhaps the funniest/most informative thing I've seen done with them was my freshman year in college. A lady came into one of my classes, and after a brief lecture, proceeded to unwrap a condom and place it on her head (the one with eyes, ears, nose, and a mouth) and pull it down to her nose. She then 'blew it up' (I'm sensing this could come across wrong on SO many levels) to show us that if a guy uses an excuse that he's 'too big', he's full of BS. This was one of the condoms that you can get for FREE from student health services.

My high school health teacher (female) did the same demonstration for us during the sex ed. unit. Every semester she did this, she would then parade around the school with the health students trailing behind her, showing off in the classrooms. Apparently, one time she accidentally used a lubricated condom (getting the lubricant all over her hair).