Insane Company Commercials

[Cosmic Cat]

During the summer, my store had a television in the lawn & garden department that played an ad for our new trimmer. It went like this: "It's time to KICK. SOME. GRASS!" and then a weedeater head buzzed across the screen. It was very annoying to work in the department because I would hear, "It's time to kick some GRASS!" over and over. All day.

Then we had this TV ad at about the same time. It opens with a guy being told by his wife that he should clean up the yard. He walks out into the yard, and the hedges are tangly and the grass is a foot high. He says, "How will I EVER get all this done?"

Then, poof! Ty Pennington appears! Ty says, "You can get all done with Craftsman!" and whips out a chainsaw while grinning; it was creepy. Ty cleans up the yard for the guy, who says, "Thanks, Ty Pennington!" and hugs him.

Then the guy's wife comes out and asks why he's hugging thin air. He says, "Uh, nothing honey. We've got to get to Sears RIGHT AWAY!" and runs off screen.

[Knightmare]

Lowe's has a commercial out right now that drives everyone in my store nuckin' futs.
"It's a Christmas commercial which a woman approaches a Lowe's employee for help. She doesnt know what the item she wants is called so she uses her hands to kind of describe what it is. The Lowe's employee immediately deduces what she wants And then the lady goes through a series of these "charades" and the Lowe's employee figures out what she wants every time, including when the woman even has to describe her husband because she apparently is so stupid she cant remember his name."*

So we at the store get these 'funny' customers that try to tell us what they want while pantomiming everything. Next time some customer does that, I'll just tell him/her it's outside.

That commercial also brings back memories of my RadioShack days.. customers come all the time, looking for something but don't know how to put it into words.
"I'm looking for a thing that is shaped like this (indicates a circle) and hooks up to my television (indicating a rectangle) with a thingy (pushing the air, thumb and forefinger clenched together).

Bastards. Tell me what you want.

*Quote taken from PFB, because I was trying to find a video link for this commercial, and after wasting too much time with no luck, I saw that the poster from PFB put it into better words that I did. So, thank you, PFB for that concise description. Link to post here

[Worker-Intellectual]

Anyone who lives in Canada knows of our commercials and how horrible they are. Thank god they killed off the Canadian Tire Guy. They would play on the TVs in front of the register... where you can't escape them.

Every time I see that stupid commercial about some stupid lady who can't find a wrench I want to kick the TV

[powerboy]

As everyone can recall, the Walmart commercials suck the most. Who are they trying to fool having every employee smiling. What was also stupid, was having the cart guys in suit and ties pusing in the carts. Also a clean parking lot at Walmart....come on? Also, having every employee smile, that would not happen at Walmart. All Walmar employees present and past can aggree with me on that.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Menards used to have the creepy Menards guy, an older guy with thick glasses, who at the end of the ad would say "blah blah blah MenAAAARRRRRRRDDDDDSSSSSSS!"

My store used to have a fairly foolish TV ad that came out at back to school time. It showed a woman shopping at our store,enjoying a movie at the theater, getting some beauty work done at the spa, doing other fun relaxing things, and then returning home. Before she walked in the door, she messed up her hair and her clothes and then walked in and told her family "You have no idea what I have gone through!"

Yeah right! Back to school at my store is just as hectic as it is anyplace else!

[MadMike]

Lowe's has a commercial out right now that drives everyone in my store nuckin' futs.
"It's a Christmas commercial which a woman approaches a Lowe's employee for help. She doesnt know what the item she wants is called so she uses her hands to kind of describe what it is. The Lowe's employee immediately deduces what she wants And then the lady goes through a series of these "charades" and the Lowe's employee figures out what she wants every time, including when the woman even has to describe her husband because she apparently is so stupid she cant remember his name."*

I saw that one too, and I just had to roll my eyes when I saw it. I know that I had enough of "I'm looking for these... things. They're for.... doing stuff. You know what I'm talking about right?" without idiotic commercials like these.

Just one of the many reminders why I'm glad to be out of retail.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I saw that one too, and I just had to roll my eyes when I saw it. I know that I had enough of "I'm looking for these... things. They're for.... doing stuff. You know what I'm talking about right?" without idiotic commercials like these.

Just one of the many reminders why I'm glad to be out of retail.

I've been seeing those as well . . . somehow I can't seem to get that scene from "Clerks" out of my mind with the guy in the video store.

[paige]

Back in the late 90's, I was a directory assistance and long distance operator for MCI (outsourced).

All those 1-800-collect commercials were horrible, but the worst one of all was where the guy is calling his parents and says "first name is Bob, last name is Wehadababyitsaboy". His father hears the name, refuses the charges, then tells the mother "That was Bob, they had a baby. It's a boy."

Not a single day went by that some schmuck didn't try that same thing to pass info without paying. Eventually they added a voice over to the commercial about it being illegal, but too late.

Some supervisors insisted we go ahead and put the calls through anyway, but most just shrugged it off.

(btw: first post from long-time lurker )

[Kogarashi]

Every time they cycle in a new collection of commercials for the Wal-Mart TV system at my store, there's at least one with some form of voiceover/music/etc. that makes me want to put a football through the televisions. This week, it's one advertising music CDs and musical cards. They use a clip from the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, where all the other kids shout "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!" and then start shouting "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing" (I refuse to call it singing). The song cuts off after something like the first line of the song, and the commercial plays at least twice every half hour (with only two other commercials between the two playings of it). If there was anything to give me a new loathing of that cartoon....

[Erin]

Menards used to have the creepy Menards guy, an older guy with thick glasses, who at the end of the ad would say "blah blah blah MenAAAARRRRRRRDDDDDSSSSSSS!"

Is this the same creepy Menards guy you're talking about? http://www.answers.com/topic/ray-szmanda

Shocked me to find out that the creepy Menards guy is the uncle of the actor who plays Greg on CSI??? Surprised the heck out of me.

[AFpheonix]

My store used to have a fairly foolish TV ad that came out at back to school time. It showed a woman shopping at our store,enjoying a movie at the theater, getting some beauty work done at the spa, doing other fun relaxing things, and then returning home. Before she walked in the door, she messed up her hair and her clothes and then walked in and told her family "You have no idea what I have gone through!"

Yeah right! Back to school at my store is just as hectic as it is anyplace else!

This is my favorite Target Back to School ad ever!

I greet my husband with a "hello, Lunchmeat" still. It's strange the wierd bits of media that clings to your brain over time.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Anyone who lives in Canada knows of our commercials and how horrible they are. Thank god they killed off the Canadian Tire Guy. They would play on the TVs in front of the register... where you can't escape them.

Oh, God, I hated the Canadian Tire Guy so much! Especially when the commercials would play in my departement-then I would have visions of beating that chipper Bob Vila ripoff with a (YardWorks) shovel. I don't mind the new ads, though. They range from amusing to pretty funny-although the ones in the summer were better, IMHO.

BTW, I felt bad for the Canadian Tire neighbour-he's had to put up with CTG's crap for years. As well, I think the Canadian Tire Wife is on Prozac.

[BrassCowboy]

Have you seen the one where the Lowe's employee is continually harassed for information, not only at work, but as he leaves work and even when he gets home. That commercial gives customers the idea that working at Lowe's is a fun fantasy ride that nobody wants to leave. Seriously, I feel bad for those employees who are now probably coming home late because a customer saw in the commercail that employees would help any jackass with a question.

[protege]

Lowe's has a commercial out right now that drives everyone in my store nuckin' futs.
"It's a Christmas commercial which a woman approaches a Lowe's employee for help. She doesnt know what the item she wants is called so she uses her hands to kind of describe what it is.

When I first saw that commercial, I was wondering where that woman's "helper" was. I mean, people that stupid shouldn't be allowed out in public. If I was the employee, I'd be trying to hold back from saying something like "spit it out, you fucking moron"

[Cosmic Cat]

As everyone can recall, the Walmart commercials suck the most. Who are they trying to fool having every employee smiling. What was also stupid, was having the cart guys in suit and ties pusing in the carts. Also a clean parking lot at Walmart....come on? Also, having every employee smile, that would not happen at Walmart. All Walmar employees present and past can aggree with me on that.

Oh no no no, the Burger King commercials are the worst! I hate the one in which some guy wakes up and the the Burger King is laying next to him in bed! Then the King just gives the guy some breakfast and guy is like, "Oh hooray! Food!" That is just creepy.