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Worst LP guy ever

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  • Worst LP guy ever

    I didn't know quite where to put this. I hope this is the right forum.
    A few months back I was at work at the wine shop. We are located in a grocery store directly across from their public washrooms. (We get SO many questions about where the washrooms are, even though you'd have to be standing directly in front of a 4 by 6 foot sign that says WASHROOMS to even ask).
    So one day this guy comes into the store and I ask him if he needs help, etc, and he says no, he's loss prevention and is actually following a woman who he thinks is planning on shoplifting. She's taking a bunch of stuff into the washroom, and he figures she's going to tuck them away in her bag in there. He wants to pretend he's my customer until she goes to leave, so she doesn't get suspicious. I look across the aisle and I can see this woman waiting in line for the bathroom (they're single occupancy).
    So LP guy and I get talking, and he starts leaning on the counter, telling me all about the "dangers" of his job etc, and he has completely turned his back on the washrooms. Five minutes later, I see this woman leave the washroom (sure enough, the merchandise has disappeared and her bag is bulging). I don't say anything for a minute, but she's nearly out the door at this point, and I don't think this guy has a clue...he's STILL leaning on the counter flapping his gums at me. So I say, "Um...I think she's leaving". he says "What? Oh! Right! Shit!" and takes off. He manages to catch up with her and a few minutes later I see him bringing her back into the store heading towards the management office.
    How does this guy still have a job in a field that requires attentiveness? I mean, hey, I'm not THAT pretty.

    If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

  • #2
    Maybe he values intelligence?

    I think you have an admirer.

    Rapscallion

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    • #3
      Reminds me of my first day working with the police departement for my internship. Show up ready to go, and the first thing out of the mouth of the guy I was paired with.

      "Crud, gotta go home, forgot my gun"

      - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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      • #4
        Sounds like Clown Horn Guy finally got a new job.

        (For those that don't remember, it's a reference to the funniest story I've ever read on this forum. Alas, I can't find the actual post. The nickel version is that the LP guy for an electronics chain decided to discourage shoplifters by placing clown horns around the stores... if employees saw something going on, they were supposed to give a toot, as it were. Presumably, the goal was to make the shoplifter want to go to the circus instead of stealing. Something like that.)
        I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond Chandler

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        • #5
          reminds me of my LP guy who was telling me bout al the dangers of his job and how he is on his way to become a cop and how nothing escapes his eye etc etc etc



          i told him to go back into the store, and stop smoking on duty
          Fan? This is shit. Shit? Meet fan.

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          • #6
            Reminds me of a quote from Blue Collar Comedy show: "There's a difference between a wanna be and a gonna be.."

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