Oh my god. ... ... I don't even know where to put this.
So my friend just left the store to get a better job elsewhere. He left on very good terms, (Almost .. necessary to the store. Very necessary. I miss the hell out of him already.) We spent half an hour with a group of people wanting to say goodbye to him how he should spend his Sundays when he visits us, which he still has free.
(So, this is my friend, the ex-employee, returning to the store on his Sundays to spend his time with his old friends.)
Luckily, only #1 and #6 are true so far.
If you had diplomatic immunity and couldn't burn a bridge, how would you spend your post-working days in your old favorite workplace?
So my friend just left the store to get a better job elsewhere. He left on very good terms, (Almost .. necessary to the store. Very necessary. I miss the hell out of him already.) We spent half an hour with a group of people wanting to say goodbye to him how he should spend his Sundays when he visits us, which he still has free.
(So, this is my friend, the ex-employee, returning to the store on his Sundays to spend his time with his old friends.)
- Pick up the phone when it rings, and just yell "I don't work here!" into the phone and hang up.
- Walk around giving people random directions to items the store doesn't have. "Do you have air conditioners?" "Yes ma'am. Go to aisle 86. It may look like we only have 40 aisles, but that's a trick of the light. You have to go to where Aisle 40 is and then turn around and go back to aisle 1, but make a left halfway down. When you see aisle 20, make another left and keep on going. You'll see aisle 80. Then turn around, and you'll be right in front of aisle 86. The air conditioners are on the top near the lawn ornaments and pie filling."
- He's going to stand behind the desk he had always stood behind, but not say or do anything. He's just going to draw on the baggies we have for loose nuts and bolts and keys. People are going to ask him questions and he's going to say "I don't know" or "I don't work here." ... Or "If you can tell them to give me a job, I'll probably be able to tell you."
- He'll pick up the phone when it rings, and try to answer a question, but then say "Oh, hold on, I'll get someone who works here."
- He'll pick up the phone and say "Hello, McDonalds. Err, wait, no, we're a <our store>. Sorry. We have a special on hamburgers today with every order of fries." He has actually done half of that before while working there.
- On Halloween, he's going to be one of the decorations. This has already been pre-approved by the managers. He's going as Batman. He has the costume and everything.
- His vest is being hung from the ceiling rafters. The contents of his vest pockets have already been divvied up to the nearby staff. The paint guy (17 years old, football player.) followed him around with a bottle of lotion and a hammer, pointing the lotion at him and pounding the squirter with the hammer. You know what he looked like afterwards.
- He's going to arrange all of the shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot in an intricate pattern. As an art major, I sincerely doubt it will be anything less than inspiringly beautiful.
Luckily, only #1 and #6 are true so far.
If you had diplomatic immunity and couldn't burn a bridge, how would you spend your post-working days in your old favorite workplace?
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