So, does a spring thaw also mean that the ice has melted off of the lock on your gun cabinet? Because suddenly, everyone we’ve been towing has been armed.
Case 1 – A Saturn SL is left in the local Big Box Retailer’s parking lot overnight. Local Big Box Retailer does not allow this, so after they close we go up to tow out the straggler. And there, lying in plain view on the passengers seat was a .45 caliber semiautomatic pistol. Stuffed in between the front seats was the visible handle to a smaller .38 caliber revolver. In the backseat, several half-opened cartons of ammunition. Wow, way to go there Yosemite Sam. You’re lucky I’m a law-abiding citizen, because at midnight, in the deserted lot of a shopping center, with no one else around, and any camera watching being way too far away to get a good look at me, all it would have taken was a rock or a good kick with a boot and I’d have been able to stroll off with 2 free guns and plenty of ammo. Maybe you thought your mannish display of compensation would impress passerby. Maybe you were trying a new attempt at theft deterrence, but dude, it’s a Saturn, that’s all the theft deterrence you need. Anyway, I’m only sorry I wasn’t there to see the look on your face when you returned to find your car AND your guns had both disappeared. I hope the resulting near-cardiac arrest didn’t take too much time off your life, and maybe you’ll learn to at least PRETEND you care about the cardinal rules of gun safety/storage/transport in the future.
Case 2 – Tow out a Chevy Silverado for illegally parking in someone else’s space. Guy comes in to pick it up.
-Why’d you tow me! I was just at the restaurant next door!
-That lot doesn’t belong to them, it belongs to the apartment building on the corner. The person who pays for that spot came home, and had nowhere to park.
-Well, I’m from out of town, I didn’t know I couldn’t park there, I thought that was public parking.
-The lot is signed as private Sir, per Borough ordinance
-Well, I’m with the police department
*Gives me a PD identity card. Not from this town, but legit*
-Okay, and will you be paying cash or credit?
-You can’t cut me a break?
-No sir, it’s $105, cash or credit
-What if I don’t have $105?
-Then the truck stays here
-Well, my service weapon is in that truck, I need it back.
-Well, you can go and get it out, but without $105 that truck stays put.
-I don’t think you understand, my GUN is in that truck!
-If you need it back, just fill out this property removal form, and you can take anything you want out of or off that vehicle except the license plate.
-This is a freakin’ racket! It’s extortion!
-Sir, the prices are set by local ordinance, it’s the LAW. (emphasis was mine, see what I did there? Har!)
-Freaking rip off! *slams credit card down*
Yup, fines for breakin’ the law are nothing but a rip off, it’s kinda like speeding tickets, huh Officer? No, I didn’t say that, but man I sure THOUGHT about it.
Case 3 – I come in to work and find Yup unloading a Chevy Trailblazer. (One of the morning guys, I call him “Yup” because that’s pretty much all he ever says, “A’yup” unless he’s saying “Nope”)
Me – Impound?
Yup – A’yup
Me – What apartment?
Yup – PD Impound
Me – DUI?
Yup – Nope
Me – No license?
Yup – Nope
Me – Registration expired?
Yup – Nope
Me – What’d he do then?
Yup – Pulled a gun on someone who cut him off in traffic, cops threw him in jail.
Me – Well, that’s one way to get impounded
Yup – A’yup
Case 1 – A Saturn SL is left in the local Big Box Retailer’s parking lot overnight. Local Big Box Retailer does not allow this, so after they close we go up to tow out the straggler. And there, lying in plain view on the passengers seat was a .45 caliber semiautomatic pistol. Stuffed in between the front seats was the visible handle to a smaller .38 caliber revolver. In the backseat, several half-opened cartons of ammunition. Wow, way to go there Yosemite Sam. You’re lucky I’m a law-abiding citizen, because at midnight, in the deserted lot of a shopping center, with no one else around, and any camera watching being way too far away to get a good look at me, all it would have taken was a rock or a good kick with a boot and I’d have been able to stroll off with 2 free guns and plenty of ammo. Maybe you thought your mannish display of compensation would impress passerby. Maybe you were trying a new attempt at theft deterrence, but dude, it’s a Saturn, that’s all the theft deterrence you need. Anyway, I’m only sorry I wasn’t there to see the look on your face when you returned to find your car AND your guns had both disappeared. I hope the resulting near-cardiac arrest didn’t take too much time off your life, and maybe you’ll learn to at least PRETEND you care about the cardinal rules of gun safety/storage/transport in the future.
Case 2 – Tow out a Chevy Silverado for illegally parking in someone else’s space. Guy comes in to pick it up.
-Why’d you tow me! I was just at the restaurant next door!
-That lot doesn’t belong to them, it belongs to the apartment building on the corner. The person who pays for that spot came home, and had nowhere to park.
-Well, I’m from out of town, I didn’t know I couldn’t park there, I thought that was public parking.
-The lot is signed as private Sir, per Borough ordinance
-Well, I’m with the police department
*Gives me a PD identity card. Not from this town, but legit*
-Okay, and will you be paying cash or credit?
-You can’t cut me a break?
-No sir, it’s $105, cash or credit
-What if I don’t have $105?
-Then the truck stays here
-Well, my service weapon is in that truck, I need it back.
-Well, you can go and get it out, but without $105 that truck stays put.
-I don’t think you understand, my GUN is in that truck!
-If you need it back, just fill out this property removal form, and you can take anything you want out of or off that vehicle except the license plate.
-This is a freakin’ racket! It’s extortion!
-Sir, the prices are set by local ordinance, it’s the LAW. (emphasis was mine, see what I did there? Har!)
-Freaking rip off! *slams credit card down*
Yup, fines for breakin’ the law are nothing but a rip off, it’s kinda like speeding tickets, huh Officer? No, I didn’t say that, but man I sure THOUGHT about it.
Case 3 – I come in to work and find Yup unloading a Chevy Trailblazer. (One of the morning guys, I call him “Yup” because that’s pretty much all he ever says, “A’yup” unless he’s saying “Nope”)
Me – Impound?
Yup – A’yup
Me – What apartment?
Yup – PD Impound
Me – DUI?
Yup – Nope
Me – No license?
Yup – Nope
Me – Registration expired?
Yup – Nope
Me – What’d he do then?
Yup – Pulled a gun on someone who cut him off in traffic, cops threw him in jail.
Me – Well, that’s one way to get impounded
Yup – A’yup
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