Stupid job titles!

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I was browsing a job board today and saw a listing for a "service champion" at Taco Bell. This is what they call the people who work at their restaurants. Then I saw an opening for a "Sandwich artist" at Subway and it got me thinking of all the silly names companies give their lower level employees to try and make them feel important...

- The Apple Store "geniuses"
- EB games used to call their staff "Game pros"
- The Geek Squad "Agents"
- At one place I worked they called us "Guest experience experts"

Who comes up with this crap?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Who comes up with this crap?

People who work in offices and sit at desks and know they will never, ever, be addressed by those stupid job titles.

For a brief time I was a PP at the swamp--Product Processor (or some such). That meant I unloaded and stocked trucks. Our manager was known as the Product Process manager, until that position was eliminated from our store, and possibly the entire company. I dunno.

Frankly, I'd have preferred the title "pack mule." Truth in advertising and all that.

[Merriweather]

I was browsing a job board today and saw a listing for a "service champion" at Taco Bell. This is what they call the people who work at their restaurants. Then I saw an opening for a "Sandwich artist" at Subway and it got me thinking of all the silly names companies give their lower level employees to try and make them feel important...

- The Apple Store "geniuses"
- EB games used to call their staff "Game pros"
- The Geek Squad "Agents"
- At one place I worked they called us "Guest experience experts"

Who comes up with this crap?

Disney workers, even those at stores no where near the resorts, are called Cast Members.

[telecom_goddess]

One of my personal favorite ones are "associates"

I'm known as a Service Assurance Technician ....basically I'm a switch programmer lol.

[underemployeed]

Im A "team member" where I work formally we were called "Customer Service Representatives"

I would prefer "Cashier" I mean really, there is no harm in the name people get way to hung up on titles sometimes. At my old co-op our Specialists used to be called Technicians and some of the upper management got annoyed when people wouldn't call themselves specialists like it was offensive to management that they were undervaluing themselves.

[Ghel]

At the bank, I used to be "Secretarial Support," which made it sound like I did the stuff that was too menial for the secretary. What it really meant was new accounts + answering phones + assistant to the president.

At a bank, Cashier is a very specific job, which has nothing to do with counting cash.

[fireheart]

Regarding the Disney thing, I think it's because they want to make it clear that they're actors, not cartoons come to life.

Sandwich artist does have SOME merit to it...after all, you're required to make a sandwich some 1000+ ways so...

As for the rest....

At the company I work for, Cashier refers to two things: either those who work in the cash office with payroll and such or those who do checkouts.

[Kristev]

I'm called "Associate" and "Maintenance." Try the more correct "Employee" and "Janitor." I am not here to push shopping carts for this damned Corporate-worshipping store anymore. I am not trained or able, in any way, to repair anything, which is what maintance implies. And associates have a say over what's going on and have a stake in the place! Employees are there only for the job.

[Chromatix]

Sandwich Artist actually makes sense, as it's the main selling point of a Subway. I know, it's really just basic food preparation, but it's right in front of the customer and to the customer's on-the-spot specs, so a flowery job title that remains descriptive actually makes sense, just like "Barista".

Officially I'm a "Senior Developer", but this occasionally gets adjusted when facing particular customers, to whom management wants to sell something very specific. So far so boring, but sometimes internally we say "Señor Developer", which is an inside joke.

Train drivers in Yankee land are called "Engineer" for obscure historical reasons. In Britain they are called "Driver" - a title which has survived privatised corporatism. But other train crew members now normally have bizarre titles, a trend probably started by Virgin with their efforts to turn their trains into ground-hugging airliners. (In terms of CO2 emissions they've probably succeeded, as each car of a five-car Voyager unit has it's own 750hp engine. Which is noisy and stinks when it's just sitting at a station.)

[Green_Fairy]

years ago, i worked at a job where i sat in a desk, answered phones, printed stuff off for the boss, called people to confirm orders...but they wouldn't let me call myself a secretary. nope. i didn't have a job title.

...i say secretary on my resume and applications. they can go f-themselves.

as for the barrista thing, i worked at sbux recently and shoot...i rarely actually made drinks. i mostly washed dishes and rocked the drive-thru.

[draftermatt]

Disney workers, even those at stores no where near the resorts, are called Cast Members.

Their designers/engineers are "Imagineers"

Though I do find that freaking cool.

At the Hardware store o' blue I'm a "Customer Service Associate" which is actually what I am, so it works, heh.

[bean]

There are no managers in my store. There is not a single employee. Nor do we have departments! Instead...

My company has either adopted Target speak, or Target has adopted Whole speak. Either way...

STL (Store Team Leader)
ASTL (Associate store team leader)
TL (team leader)
ATL (associate team leader)
TM (team member - me!)
NH (new hire, not voted on yet).

NH's have to be voted onto a team by all other TM's. My store has several, er, teams. Admin is where STL, ASTL, facilities, HR, cashup, etc are. Guest Service is basically frontend. Meat, seafood, bakery, and produce are what they sound like, same with grocery - but they're TEAMS, not departments, you see, and the words "department" or "employee" aren't supposed to be uttered anywhere in the building. Whole Body is vitamins, supplements, and body care, but with different people working body care. PFDS (Prepared Foods) is basically a really sweet, overpriced deli.

My "official" company title is "Guest Service Team Member", aka frontend slave. My store level title is "Guest Service Cashier". Aka I push buttons all day and grunt and sometimes toss breakable items in bags then toss a watermelon on top. Because we all know cashiering is just pushing buttons and throwing purchased items.

[Miss Fatale]

A company called Bonobos has Customer Service Ninjas.

At one job, I was not a professor, teacher, or instructor but a facilitator.

[Evil Queen]

I wanna be a customer service ninja.

*steals idea for later use*

[pitmonkey]

I am a controller. I clean offices.