Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Rapscallion]

"Do you turn forty this year?"
"Last year, actually. It's just a number. I'm trying to get my waistline down to it and my IQ up to it."

Rapscallion

[Midorikawa]

<L3 Tech in other building> you are always depressed anyway
<Coworker> Really, though, do you want me to spiral?
<Coworker> I'll probably take you and a number of people out with me... :P
<L3> just go drink some more.. you will be ok
<Me> don't depress him too much.
<Me> I work in the same office as him.
<L3> and?
<Me> I don't need Marvin The Paranoid Android over there going over the cliff.

[Dreamstalker]

Obviously the universe disagrees with you.

[Midorikawa]

CEO: It's about as secure as a condom with the end cut off!

[Sakka]

In an office being audited.

Female Office worker: Auditor, still need to find Mr A and Mr B.
Auditor: Okay, I'll look for them, I don't want to tie you up.
office worker: That's okay, I like being tied up.

Another male worker nearby blinks, suddenly turns bright red and bounces off the door frame while hurriedly leaving the room.

Auditor:
Office worker:
Office worker: Don't worry about him, I do that all the time.

From around the corner, male worker who had hurriedly left the room with a bright red face: She does.

[Spiffy McMoron]

I've put $100 in the jar, now open your mouth!

[crazylegs]

Do you want some crack?

No sir, this is a petrol station - we don't offer a barter service.

[Food Lady]

"Hey, how come when T is yammering on about nothing you listen to him, but when I do it, you don't pay attention??"

[akaScooby]

"So you used a loaf of bread to get out of a fine?"

[Rapscallion]

"Never attritbute to malice what can be blamed on incompetence."

Rapscallion

[Cookie]

"It's like two monkey f@cking a football!"

[Rapscallion]

"He keeps his girlfriend at arm's length. Literally."

Rapscallion

[sarasquirrel]

"lets yank this thing"




"somebodys going to choke on it"
"they cant choke on it, if they cant get it in their mouth"

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

"That's a good song to kill yourself to."

[crazylegs]

With the right technique you can go on for hours...