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(Co-worker to me) "Did I ever tell you how your eyes sparkle just like a shard from the shikon no tama?"
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"But I don't want to be among mad people."
You can't help that. We're all mad here. Every fucking one of us. -
"What do you think is going to happen out there?"
"Same thing that always happens: I'm going to go push big metal things around the parking lot in a lightening storm.""Who loves not women, wine, and song remains a fool his whole life long" ~Martin Luther
"Always send a lazy man to the angel of death" ~Martin Luther
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me: that's terrible.
m: at least im not on the "varsity shaken baby squad."
t: great. now we won't get out of here till, like, 3 million o'clock.
j: he looks like he ate sean bean! and then stole scott stapp's hair! "one does not simply sing 'my sacrifice' in mordor!"Kim: She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
I'd like to exercise my constitutional right to not give a fuck.Comment
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'I'm going home to mend sheep panties now'Arsenic is 'natural'. Hemlock is 'organic'.Comment
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"I just cleaned this stupid grilll off. Alright, Tithera, come here, I need a sacrifice to the grill gods. You're a virgin right? Wait, wait, I don't want to know, just hop on the grill till your butt fat melts away."
"But, I don't want to!!!"
"I don't care you you don't want to. Those dishes aren't going to clean themselves, unless you have some magical powers I don't lnow about."
"Damn powers on the frits"*walks away*
"Hey!Hey! This is a resturant, we're supposed to act like we actually enjoy working here. Get that stupid look off your face! You're scaring the older couple in the corner!"
"But, this is my smile.'
"Oh dear lord, Tithera, get out there and deliver this food.K's smile is destroying the time space continium, and freaking the hell outt me."Just because they serve you, doesn't mean they like you. And just because they smile and act polite doesn't mean they aren't planning to destroy you.
"I put the laughter in slaughter."Comment
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"Damnit, either be in your office, or employ people who speak English. Or Spanish, I can at least get by in Spanish. German or Russian. Really, anything other than slobbering drunk.""Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."Comment
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"i half expect a fight to break out between the Jets and the Sharks over here. maybe they can have a dance-off."Kim: She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
I'd like to exercise my constitutional right to not give a fuck.Comment
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"And is there anything else I can help you out with tonight?"
"Well, see, I got these mushrooms, in my front yard...""In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case
“You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William StaffordComment
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"Who would have thought a search for 'Haven Toys' and 'Devon' would have resulted in so many porn links? Oh, a few transexual sites as well. Do you think our IT department can trace this?"
RapscallionComment
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"Please do not adjust your dyslexia."
"We like to call it The Rococo-a-Go-Go."
"He’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing."
"You mean a transvestite?"
"Quickdraw? Ha! Why do they call you that?"
"I'm a mighty fast marksman and I can shoot from the hip. What else could it mean?"You're not doing me a favor by eating here. I'm doing you a favor by feeding you.Comment
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"Anything I can do for you?"
"You can mow my lawn."
"How come you never ask me to drink your beer?"I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!
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"Is this supposed to be a plush eggplant??"
"I will END you!!!"
"It's been so long since I've been able to really play- my dice begin to feel neglected!"
"chrys is a PANZY!"
"Wait, who can I throw an Ant Lion at?""Respect: to admit that something one may not enjoy or prefer might still have great value." ~L. MunoaComment
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"Aldous the thingy exploooooded!!!"
"I will never stroke my horse again!"
"Freudian slip?"
"You wish"
"Excuse me, the place where you pee is over flowing"
"Yo, M!! Grab the mop, you have Janitorial work to do!!!!"
"Aldous, you think that he knows what that means, that's a 12 point word, hell I'm not sure what it means"It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
~~~H.L. MenckenComment
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"I don't know, don't question the mating habits of waterbottles!""Respect: to admit that something one may not enjoy or prefer might still have great value." ~L. MunoaComment
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"But, there's supposed to be a hole in the butt, Fox."I will not shove “it” up my backside. I do not know what “it” is, but in my many years on this earth I have figured out that that particular port hole is best reserved for emergency exit only. -GKComment
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