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"The first aid room is not to be used for any purpose other than first aid. So please do not rinse out cups in the sink there or leave bottles of rapeseed and massage oil in there."
"Soap samples, apparently with a pubic hair already implanted in each one. Must be for the customers who really don't have enough time in the day to do the essential things."
"Let's play tomato soccer!"
"No! There are no winners in tomato soccer."
"Is that the voice of experience?"
"Yes. Also it's really hard to get tomato juice out of leather pants."
"Hey, did you talk to that guy?"
"Which one?"
"The one who looks like a prick from 80 yards away."
"Is the door locked? The sign there said it was."
"Uhm...sir...?"
"Yes, I realized that right as I finished the sentence. Thanks!"
"Do you have any weapons on you right now?"
"No, officer."
"..."
"...So, when you said 'No, officer', did you mean 'except for the handgun'?"
"Hey! Good morning!"
"Burn in hell you cheery fucker, it's too early for that shit."
"Why are you so pissed?"
"Because I've only worked 6 hours."
"How many hours do you have left?"
"6 hours."
"That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
"What IS fun to fight through?"
"Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."
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