The Tale of Magic Eight Ball Baseball

[Last Jewish Cowboy]

For three years I managed my music and video store. It took blood, sweat and tears to make it profitable. I was hampered by over zealous corporate loss prevention and corporate management who just wanted to make sure the store had not burnt to the ground. I built a wonderful but rather odd team.
This story is about, well, me, Jeff the inventory keeper and Erik.
Just a tad of back ground on these nuts. Jeff controlled the inventory and could tell you what we had in off the top of his head. He was a loner who would only work 5 am-PM, Monday-Friday. He refused to talk to customers and rarely said anything. Jeff knew the stock so well and the store set-up he and his assistant could do the work of six. He was worth the pain he sometimes was.
Erik was the Randel to my Dante. He loved to test the limits and thought the store was there for his amusement. Sometimes when he needed me up front he would call over the PA, "Captain Peacock to the front please." I was glad so few got his jokes. His death was a blow that hit home hard.

Monday

I arrived early, made coffee and entered my office. The normal paperwork greeted me. I had just started when Jeff entered.

J - Inventory is off.
M - ...........
J - .............
M - OK give me a clue.
J - I have been getting a crate of Magic Eight Balls weekly for the last two months.
M - Well find out how many we are supposed to have and send the rest back.
J - Done.
M- And
J - We are supposed to have 20 in stock and the corporate report shows that is what we have.
M - How many do we really have?
J - 240

Well no other store was missing any and reports kept showing the same 20 in stock. Weeks passed and the Magic Eights Balls kept multiplying. We had 400 and selling them at near cost did nothing. Jeff was getting mad at the space they were taking up. Erik was working with Jeff the next day so I told him to come up with a plan to rid us of the ball.

Monday, one week later

Arrived, coffee, paperwork, why me.

BANG

It was loud but not "get up and look" loud.

BANG

I got up and went to the loading dock.

BANG

The walls in the loading dock are normally white, this morning they were a sick purple.
Erik and Jeff slowly turned and Erik had a lead pole in his hand.

M - What in the hell are you doing!
E- Funny you should ask.
M - What's on your shirt? (It was covered in purple)
E - Did you know the liquid in an Magic Eight Ball in purple?
M - Urge to kill rising
E - OK here are the rules, lay down your money and then call your shot. Here let me show you. I put down five bucks. I say this shot the ball will break open and if "My sources say no" comes up I win twenty big ones from Jeff.
M - Oh god...
E - Watch
He swings away, the ball hits the wall and bounces around without breaking.
E - You would be surprised how often that happens.
J - I win.
M - Your destroying company property.
E - That does not exist.
He winks and nudges Jeff.
M - If this comes back to me you both are paying for this. Clean this mess up and get back to work.
J - No.
M - What!
J - I'm sixty dollars in the hole, how about a couple more games.
M - Just clean it up.
E - Boss?
M - Yes?
E - Do you have a shirt I can borrow?


The Magic Eights Balls stopped coming after several months and no explanation was ever found. Erik won money and the white walls were never really white again.

[Gurndigarn]

For three years I managed my music and video store. It took blood, sweat and tears to make it profitable.

But I bet it was a real Rush when it worked, despite working you like a Crazy Horse.

Erik was the Randel to my Dante. He loved to test the limits and thought the store was there for his amusement. Sometimes when he needed me up front he would call over the PA, "Captain Peacock to the front please." I was glad so few got his jokes. His death was a blow that hit home hard.

I'm guessing you're british, or at least somewhere in the commonwealth? Can't imagine too many USians would pick that one up.

[RentalRacer]

I am probably one of those rare USA residents who knows what the reference was too..at least I think I do..TV show "Are you being Served" if I am correct...it used to be on really early in the AM on BBC America or some other channel.

Personally, I liked the Clerks reference better...Dante and Randel are the perfect team...

[powerboy]

I loved that show "Are You Being Served" I really didn't care for whats her name, that one with differant color hair, on each episode. Clerks is a good movie

[lolad]

That would be Mrs Slocombe
You had to feel sorry for her cat.

I own every episode of AYBS and the sequel series AYBS? Again!
And it was even made into another series here in Australia

[Gurndigarn]

That would be Mrs Slocombe
You had to feel sorry for her cat.

Though I never was quite sure she was talking about a feline, mind you.

[Becks]

Now I want to play Exploding Magic Eight Balls!!!!!!

[Arcade Man D]

When I read that, I heard it as though OP sounded like Dante and E sounded like Randel, thanks to that little personality description.

[Ackee]

Nice

I like your team, they are crazy!
Did you say your kissing partner is not alive anymore?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Weeks passed and the Magic Eights Balls kept multiplying

Are you sure they weren't tribbles?

[digilight]

Are you sure they weren't tribbles?

The answer is completely obvious. They really werent magic 8balls, they were a rare species of mogwai (gremlins) and someone got them wet, naughty, naughty

[repsac]

I can totally picture that. Thing is, it sounds like a rather fun game...

[ForestDragon]

Sounds more like a rare breed of hard-shelled tribble to me.

That said, I would've liked to play Magic 8-Ball Baseball too - I'd want to dress in black first to hide the purple. With my luck, though, I'd end up getting the crap on my face and arms.