Christmas Wish List

[Antisocial_Worker]

For whatever reason, there's been a Christmas Wish List posted on the bulletin board at work next to the time clock. It started out as a blank page and gradually the folks from two shifts so far have filled it in with their wishes.

There's the realistic wishes, which include "new lab coats for everyone," and, possibly, "more thank yous."

There are the unrealistic wishes such as "A BIG CHRISTMAS BONUS!!!" and "the higher ups in the offices should work a full shift on the floor."

Then there are the ludicrous wishes, which include "my self respect back," and, my personal favorite, "diplomatic immunity."

And you? What are your Christmas wishes for work?

[Parrothead]

I want the big honkin' potholes fixed up. All eight of them.


And the gate fixed. And more hours.


A job to replace the one I just lost

[Calvin St.Hobbes]

I want...1. The secrets of the universe on 3X5 cards for E-Z indexing (hardcopy) and in Kindle format as well
2. The statute of limitations to expire....

[chrislb]

A pair of headphones that will fit my mp3 player and some chewing tobacco. If i get these i would be the happiest man alive. I don't need much to be happy.

[MoonCat]

At work?

- Certain people to retire before a) they turn 96 or b) I go insane from having to deal with them.
- We make a solid, no-exceptions rule: No one can place a death notice except the funeral home/crematory/whatever agency arranged the disposition of remains.
- Management to admit they bought a lousy computer system

[BlaqueKatt]

-people in my dept:

to be healthy-(we supposedly have a team of 5 for the last three months we've been working with three or less-due to two of them calling out every single day)
to quit bitching about the ones who aren't healthy

-people not in my dept-
dammit you have college degrees! Learn to read! do not use up the media made today while the stuff from a week ago goes bad-it does have a shelf life!

Let us know when you're getting low/take the last of something-nothing we hate more than "oh hey it's 4:20 you leave in 10 minutes, we're out of x and we need it" When x is usually something that takes 2-3 hours to make.

-Management-
Please our reviews were due in june, you promised them in november, it's almost january FFS!

Stop telling clients we can do z without checking to see if we actually can.

and to the sales manager:
I am ok with being your friend, that's fine, but for the love of all that's holy, I'm married, I am not leaving my husband for you, I barely tolerate you as it is, STOP HITTING ON ME!!! Oh and stop "sexting" me when you're drunk while you're at it. You are a creepy douchebag that can't take a damn hint.....

[Teskeria]

and to the sales manager:
I am ok with being your friend, that's fine, but for the love of all that's holy, I'm married, I am not leaving my husband for you, I barely tolerate you as it is, STOP HITTING ON ME!!! Oh and stop "sexting" me when you're drunk while you're at it. You are a creepy douchebag that can't take a damn hint.....

I'd like to recommend a nice discussion with human resources regarding sexual harassment.

[BlaqueKatt]

I'd like to recommend a nice discussion with human resources regarding sexual harassment.

ahahahahaha-that's a good one....we don't have a human resources dept, and most of it happens outside of work-so it would be a police matter, and it's not really worth it to take it that far-it's an aggravation only, he has never and would never do more than talk-and we do hang out sometimes and have a great time-he's the only person that can keep up with me cycling.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

A small thermonuclear device, a helicopter, and an alibi.

[Aethian]

Parcel runners

[Mytical]

Diplomatic Immunity sounds nice, as well as a Rail Gun. Hmm no better not get those...

I'll settle for peace and quiet....

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

My wish list?

My one and only request: Health Care.

I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I need basic and cheap medication but can't afford the visits to get the prescription. I'd buy the meds off the street if people bothered to do that. The meds don't get you high. But my company's attitude is that they think if they offer 50% off a gym membership, they've done their job. They want young and perfectly healthy people, new people who get payed the least, and stay around the least. Dream employees who live for the company, and never question any of their numerous, contradictory bosses. Young women who are gorgeous and love nothing more than attending pep meetings and team building exercises, and accumulating company swag.

They should start building Retail Droids then.

[Elspeth]

For me: for my current job to stay in business

for the hubby: to get the job he is interviewing for this morning.

[Rapscallion]

A small thermonuclear device, a helicopter, and an alibi.

That seems to be your answer to so many things. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that you're consistent.

Rapscallion

[PepperElf]

well tomorrow's my last day at work so... um.
give me a good word if i mention you on my resume?

eh. case of beer will be nice tho.
and not bud-crap-er. i want real beer.
maybe middle ages, swallow wit...