Uncomfortable conversations

[MystyGlyttyr]

Hmm, let's see. My conversations are never really that uncomfortable for me but I imagine they probably are for most other people.

Warning: The following are actual conversations Mysty has had at various places of work. Language intact.


Some Guy Hitting on Me At The Deli
Guy: "Hey, baby, lemme get your phone number."
Me: "No."
Guy: "Oh, why not? You got a boyfriend?"
Me: "No. I just don't like the look of you."
Guy: "Uh..."
Me: "How did you want your cheese sliced?"
Guy: *mumbling* "Sandwich is fine..."

Some Woman Asking About Kids At The Candy Store
Woman: "Do you have any kids?"
Me: "No, I don't want kids."
Woman: *something about how wonderful kids are and I don't know what I'm missing*
Me: "Maybe so, but I'd probably wind up beating the shit out of them, and I don't figure that's for the best for anyone involved."
Woman:

Oh Yeah, This One DID Make Me Uncomfortable
Brother: "So you've really never had sex?"
Me: "Nope, never. Don't plan on it anytime soon."
Brother: "You should, you know. You don't know what you're missing."
Me: "...I am not having this conversation with you."

Oh, That Wacky Newspaper Parking Lot
Local Cult Member: "HAVE YOU BEEN SAVED?!"
Me: "HAVE YOU BEEN SHOWERED?!"
Boss: *spits iced tea everywhere*


Yeah, I don't bother real easy, heh.

[Noelegy]

I don't fit in well with most of the coworkers in my department because I am 1) college educated, 2) I read, and 3) I don't have children of my own. I do have three stepsons, only one of which lives with me. And in the years since I've worked here, I've gotten divorced and remarried. It seemed that damned near everybody had to ask me if now I was going to have one of my own when I remarried.

1) I can't. 2) I don't want to. 3) Isn't three stepsons enough?

I don't like to ruffle feathers, but I definitely feel out of step with all the mommies and grandmas up here.

[Arachne]

Working where I do, there are a LOT of mommy/grandma-aged ladies who come into the store, and many of them are very home and family-minded. I don't have children, I've been seeing the same person for eight years and we're not married. There's a level of bonding which I'm just incapable of, and it can make things a little bit uncomfortable, sometimes. The knitting community can also be kinda gossipy, so that makes things worse.

Usually, however, people aren't so pushy that it gets to that point. I'm really comfortable with why I've made the choices I've made with regards to family and marriage, so I don't really mind being pushed a little bit about them.

The stories of customers using slurs in the store boggle my mind! I think if I had a customer start using ugly language like that, I'd tell them to clean it up or get out of my store.

[iradney]

I wish, oh how I wish that people would stop asking me when TTO and I are going to get married and spawn. Like, what the hey people, if you're not a close personal friend you have no right to ask me that! We'll get married one day, but we doubt we'll ever have kids. Ever.

[Dreamstalker]

Brother: "So you've really never had sex?"
Me: "Nope, never. Don't plan on it anytime soon."
Brother: "You should, you know. You don't know what you're missing."
Me: "...I am not having this conversation with you."

W...T...F? Did this dude think he was being "smooth"...? Ew.

[MystyGlyttyr]

W...T...F? Did this dude think he was being "smooth"...? Ew.

Heh heh, uh, no. That was my brother. My. Brother. My brother with whom I share certain genetic traits and was raised in the same house with.

Believe me, that makes the conversation way more horrible.

[morgana]

Local Cult Member: "HAVE YOU BEEN SAVED?!"
Me: "HAVE YOU BEEN SHOWERED?!"
Boss: *spits iced tea everywhere*

Oh, I am so using this with Reverand Rants-On-The-Corner . . .

[protege]

I wish, oh how I wish that people would stop asking me when TTO and I are going to get married and spawn.

Ugh. Several people have asked me when am I going to "settle down" with someone. Er no. Not happening. Yes, I *know* I'm 30--does that automatically mean life should slow down? Again, not happening--too much to do, and too little time to do it in. As for kids, well, I already have a cat...and he's enough.

[Rahmota]

I dunno. the wife and I have been married for 8 years now and together for 10 and even with two kids we havent slowed down that much. Mostly its still full steam ahead balls to the wall when it comes to living our lives. Its just what we do that has changed some. No more wild parties or staying out all night. We do have to be a bit more responsible you know. And most of our stuff is involving the family now but thats cool for us. Your milage may vary.

[Gurndigarn]

I dunno. the wife and I have been married for 8 years now and together for 10 and even with two kids we havent slowed down that much. Mostly its still full steam ahead balls to the wall when it comes to living our lives. Its just what we do that has changed some. No more wild parties or staying out all night. We do have to be a bit more responsible you know. And most of our stuff is involving the family now but thats cool for us. Your milage may vary.

It's nice when the older kids get old enough to do the babysitting. Then it's relatively easy to go back to the occasional late night. (We never did wild parties, so no losses there. But I think I've done something right, since it's the kids who try to change the topic whenever it rolls around to sex.)

[zzapp the witch]

My bf and I are not going to be getting married, been there, done that. I lost my hubby, and he lost the girl he was engaged to. He loves me and my kids, and loves the whole daddy thing without actually breeding (he's afraid of passing on a disorder he has). So we've got our perfect little arrangement here.

My Aunt: When are you going to be marrying that young man?
Me: There's no need.
Aunt: But you should get married. It's the proper thing to do.
Mom: She doesn't need to. They're all happy with what they've worked out.
Aunt: (And you can almost see this one coming) But what about the children? What kind of example do you think you're setting for them??!!
Grandma: She makes more money being a widow. Shut it.

(My aunt is very materialistic. My grandmother knows this and just pointed out to her that I get a check every month for being a military widow. To my aunt its dollar signs and a good reason to NOT get married.....figure that out. Sometimes I can't stand the way she is.)

Oh and the bestest babysitter I ever had was a guy named Dwayne. Who was gay. Anyone who tried to tell me that kids can't grasp that is full of shit. He was a teenager, and my parents knew he was even though HIS parents couldn't see it. We're in a very closeminded community in some ways. All my mom told me (and I was about 5 at the time) was, "Dwayne thinks boys are pretty instead of girls." And that's all there was to it. If I understood the basics of the situation from that little statement, you can't tell me that other children can't.

So yes, I DO think of the children. They ask me a question, I give them an answer. And everything is right in their world, especially when their "aunt" and her girlfriend come over to visit (especially when they bring caaaannndyyyyyy!).

[Seshat]

Aunt: (And you can almost see this one coming) But what about the children? What kind of example do you think you're setting for them??!!

A good one, demonstrating that grown adults can think things through and make decisions based on their values. Why, what sort of example does she think you should set?


Think of the children. Hmph. My niece and nephew are learning that even though their parents and grandparents choose a traditional life (marriage, 2.4 children, dog in the back yard), they will still be loved and cherished and considered part of the family if their own lives are different. Because, y'know, they can see their Auntie Seshat living a 'non-traditional' life and being part of the family.

And I dunno about the rest of the you, but I think it's important.

(And if either of them do turn out to be gay or anything else 'unusual', I suspect Auntie Seshat will be the first they admit it to. Won't that be fun!)

[Imogene]

It used to really fry me when people would ask "How come you don't have kids?"

Just cause I'm me, I'd have looked him straight in the eye, and in a dead monotone, said, "Got my parts shot off in the war."
/doesn't want kids
//lived in an in home daycare most of hir young life, so, knows what children are like

I wish, oh how I wish that people would stop asking me when TTO and I are going to get married and spawn. Like, what the hey people, if you're not a close personal friend you have no right to ask me that! We'll get married one day, but we doubt we'll ever have kids. Ever.

"Spawn? Oh, right, they're cooking right now, in my basement lab... Note to self: Name first one Audrey."

[Discourtesy Clerk]

Anyone who tried to tell me that kids can't grasp that is full of shit. He was a teenager, and my parents knew he was even though HIS parents couldn't see it. We're in a very closeminded community in some ways. All my mom told me (and I was about 5 at the time) was, "Dwayne thinks boys are pretty instead of girls." And that's all there was to it. If I understood the basics of the situation from that little statement, you can't tell me that other children can't.

Very well put. I'll have to remember that one.

[Rahmota]

Zzap and seshat: A big ditto on the well said.

I could go off on more but thats what fratching is for.


As for the original conversation some people just dont want to believe what the facts in front of them are, like denying reality would allow them to deal with it better. Besides maybe they where color blind? (To play devil's advocate)