So....we got Jimmy in the Urn in the back seat...

[roadside]

I work at a call center for a major car rental company (at least for a few more months...check out my thread below.) I handle roadside assistance nationwide. I set up tows, exchanges, give advice, etc. For most tows we have a list of tow companies that we go through. In Florida we go through another service similar to AAA that has their own network of providers. We call them, give them the info, they dispatch a tow truck. Sometimes it takes them quite a long time and ETAs get broken, bad things happen. There's just a bunch of kinks that still need to be worked out.

That being said, I got a fairly odd, and horrible call yesterday.

Me: Me

PG: Poor Guy
*********************************************

Me: Thank you for calling XYZ car rental company roadside assistance, my name's Roadside, how can I help you today?

PG: I've been on the side of the road waiting for my new car. First I was told an hour, then I was told another 30 min...it's been 3 hours total and I still don't have a car!

Me: *Checks notes on contract. Someone had called in and it was going to be another 45min* I do apologize sir, but it looks like it will be about another 45 min before they arrive with the new car.

PG: You don't understand, I have to have this car now.

Me: I apologize sir, they're coming as fast as they can.

PG: No, you don't get it. I have to get to a funeral, it's very important.

Me: I'm very sorry sir. If I could get the truck there any faster I would, but that's the time that they gave us.

PG: No, you don't understand. I have the deceased's remains in the car and the honor gaurd is waiting for us.

Me: *Presses my handy-dandy mute button so the customer can't here me* HOOOOLLLLY SHIT. *Presses mute again* I'm sorry sir. I will call the tow and have them call you back to see if they can expidite that in any way.


END OF CALL

I've had people be late to funeral before, weddings, birthdays, graduations, and the like. It happens. Cars break down. But this is the first time I've ever had a guy late for his own funeral. I just hope when I'm on my way to my final resting place, I'm not being hauled around in a rented, blue PT Cruiser.

[Rahmota]

Hehehe haha. Oh my gods. When I do die people are going to expect something like that to happen to me. Hopefully we wont find out for a good long time though.

[tollbaby]

Ever heard the expression "He'll be late for his own funeral"? Well, hopefully that guy was one of those and the family got a bit of a smile out of it when all was said and done (we all howled with laughter at my mother-in-law's funeral the other day when my sister-in-law was describing her mother's method of cooking turkey - cried lots too, but the turkey thing was definitely a bright spot).

[Ree]

Sometimes, laughing at the funny stuff is the only thing that helps a family get through a difficult time.

I'm sure it was probably stressful for the family, not knowing where the deceased was, while waiting to have a service for him, but hopefully, they are the type of family who are able to find humor out of it.

[Rahmota]

Yeah sometimes you gotta laugh through the pain.

I know it sounds kinda bad but with my mother's funeral she had a standard episcopal service (think catholic light) so you know it kinda went on for a bit. Towards the end the wind picked up in to a rather stiff breeze. To the point where the casket was rocking a bit on the straps. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing as one of the things mother didnt want was a long winded memeorial to her. She would have rather had a few simple words said over her and simply laid to rest. Better to remember her by. So I had this wierd mental image with the casket rocking of her opening it up and saying hurry up already.

[Kilamon]

When my father passed away, we had his ashes in the car on the way to the funeral. His nickname was 'Bud' and, since the ashes were to be buried, a plastic box was used. The joke became 'Bud in a box' which is horrible, but funny in it's own macabre way.

[BookstoreEscapee]

My mom doesn't want flowers at her funeral. She wants balloons.

(I only know this because a few years ago I came across a list she made while looking for something on her dresser; I think it was prompted when my boyfriend's (at the time) mother passed away. It kinda freaked me out.)

[zzapp the witch]

I think balloons is an awesome idea.

[RentalRacer]

A few years back I had to report a car stolen as it was not returned as scheduled and we could not get in contact with the renter via phone, email, or certified letters. Our policy is that we wait 30 days past the original return date to report the car stolen(which I think is way way too long of a grace period).

A week later the renters son was pulled over driving the vehicle. Apparently, his Mother had rented the car, and then passed away. You guessed it, he had the urn in the car. Of course, he was arrested for possessing a stolen vehicle. His story was that he thought his Mom owned the car, and left it to him as part of his inheritance.

Sad thing was although we got the car out of the impound lot the next day, it took him 2 months to claim his mothers ashes. Normally we only keep lost and found items for 30 days before we trash them, but how do you throw away someones remains?

[tollbaby]

Wow... that's filial love, right there folks.

My ex (we're separated, but not divorced, and we're still very good friends) has extracted a promise from me that I will have him cremated IMMEDIATELY and that the only form of memorial service he will accept is for everyone to go out to a bar. I have had to promise, in writing, that should his family INSIST upon a memorial service, that I am to keep his ashes hidden so that they can't force him to go to his own funeral I wish I was joking.

I did get him to concede that if our children wanted some kind of goodbye ceremony, that we could have a private thing to either scatter his ashes, but no one other than the children, myself, his niece (who is also one of his best friends) and his best friend are invited. *sigh* picky bastard.

I don't care what happens to my body when I'm gone. I'd like to donate my cadaver to the local medical school but I don't know if they'll want it. I have signed an organ donor card (and for my kids as well).

[Ree]

My ex (we're separated, but not divorced, and we're still very good friends) has extracted a promise from me that I will have him cremated IMMEDIATELY and that the only form of memorial service he will accept is for everyone to go out to a bar. I have had to promise, in writing, that should his family INSIST upon a memorial service, that I am to keep his ashes hidden so that they can't force him to go to his own funeral I wish I was joking.

A lot of people have that type of idea as their last wishes.
I can understand it, but I do have to say, sometimes, the services are for the family to help give some type of closure.

When my Dad passed away, we had 2 days of waking at the funeral home and a big funeral. It was pretty difficult for all of us, but when it was over, there was a feeling of peace because we'd had a few extra days to say good-bye, as well as the burial with a final good-bye.

When both my in-laws passed, they were taken right to the funeral home for cremation, with a scattering of ashes, several months later.
There was never a feeling for me that I had said good-bye. I was lost for days after with such an empty feeling.

That's just me, though.

[tollbaby]

Well, see, that's why I talked him into a service, but I'd keep the ashes somewhere else, not bring them to the service (if my in-laws are upset about the whole thing, I'll bring them an urn, it just won't have him in it - he REALLLLLLLY hates this sort of thing, like the only reason he went to his mom's funeral was because I made him so his dad wouldn't be upset any more than he already was). Win-win situation, everybody's... well, not happy, but at least satisfied.

[ShortTemperHatesStupidity]

My great-grandma passed away a few years ago. Now, she was never really the sort to have people fussing over her, which I'm sure was a difficult thing to avoid since she was the matriarch of the family. When the arrangements were made, of course it was a huge 'to-do' and took much longer than it should have to occur (and way overdone if you ask me... it wasn't what she would have wanted).

So we finally get to the funeral, and it's massive-tons of people, lots of sobbing and crying (I was sad too, but she had died a slow death and one I'm sure she wasn't happy about having to experience as it required more an more care and less and less independence so I'm sure she was in a better place). So the preacher does an open-mike segment for anyone who wants to speak about her. One of my relatives (*please see below*who happens to be a hypocritical bible-toting Jesus freak) gets up and starts preaching to everyone with this long, drawn out sermon of a speech. After about 10 minutes she's finally done and goes to step down off the podium-and fell flat on her ass and down 3 stairs. Everyone is standing up and gasping, looking to see if she's ok... I had to look away-it was all my mother and I could do to keep from busting out loud laughing. Somehow I think it was my mum-mum's way of saying enough already.

**Please do not take this comment personally as it describes only one portion of my family in particular. I have no problem with the bible, loving Jesus, or being Christian, as I was raised that way myself. I do, however, have a problem with a person following the bible so closely that it leads to events where she contradicts herself, but still feels the need to quote the bible all the time in an effort to make everyone feel as though they're going to hell because they don't live like her.

[captainvegetable02]

Back in high school I was hanging out with my older brother and some of his friends when the conversation turned to burial vs. cremation. One of his friends said made a comment that I still think is hilarious (though terribly morbid), "When I die - if I die before my parents do - I want to be cremated, then have my ashes scattered around my parents' house...so my mom has to clean up after me one last time."

[Banrion]

My mom wants us to have a party with lots of dry red wine. She has also decided that she wants to be a diamond when she dies. She's hoping that she has enough carbon for 2, but if not, my brother and I will have to have joint custody of the mama when she's gone.