Story from my mom

[evileatinggrasshopper]

Hi all,
I'm more of a lurker than a poster, but reading through these stories reminded me a a story my mom told me. First, some background. I'm one of 4 kids. We're all really close in age. 11 months between me and my older brother, 17 months between me and my younger brother and 17 months between my two youngest brothers. So my mom was basically constantly pregnant for 5 years.

Anyway, onto the story. My mom was pregnant with my youngest brother at the time and went to a routine dentist appointment. She sticks by the 6 month rule, so they were familiar with her. A dental assistant was prepping her and making small talk. This is how my mom says the conversation went.

DA-dental assistant (I don't know what the actual title is, but not the actual dentist)
MOM-my mom <3

DA- *small talk* Oh wow, I see you're pregnant again. Which one is this?

Mom-This will be my forth.

DA-It seems like every time you're in here, you're pregnant again. Have you considered abortion yet?

Mom-

Well my mom had no idea how to reply to that. She says she just mumbled something and went through with the appointment, but she was really shaken by that comment. Afterwards, when my dad came to pick her up, she told him what happened. Apparently he stormed in there, and raised holy hell to the assistant and the dentist in charge. It's over 20 years later and my mom still remembers how shocked she was that someone would just make a comment like that

[Teefies2]

OMG

Words fail me.

[Sparky]

Kudos to your dad!

[NateTheChops]

I assume the assistant was promptly terminated for such a comment. There are far too many opportunities where a slip of the tongue like that could cost the dentist she works for very dearly.

[evileatinggrasshopper]

My mom has no idea if she was fired, she never felt comfortable going back after that.

[NateTheChops]

I don't blame her. I mean, I've had some misfires before with my brain mouth filter. I think we all have. But it amazes me that a professional can make such a comment like that, especially given the enormous amount of responsibility that comes with that position.

[Sapphire Silk]

DA-dental assistant (I don't know what the actual title is, but not the actual dentist)

If she is the gal who cleans your teeth, she is a dental hygenist. If she is assisting the dentist during procedures, she is a dental assistant.

DA-It seems like every time you're in here, you're pregnant again. Have you considered abortion yet?

Oh. Wow. Just . . . wow.

No excuse to say something like that. Totally insensitive and unfunny.

Don't blame your mom for bailing. I would have bailed too.

[tollbaby]

Wow.... That's an unforgivable comment. I'm glad your dad gave them what-for.

[tropicsgoddess]

That was thoughtless, insensitive and unprofessional of her to say that to your mom. Glad your dad raised hell about it.

[Captain Trips]

I would put that on the same level as a medical provider telling her she should NOT have an abortion! Medical providers are there to provide a service, and NOT to make moral judgements, one way OR the other.

They shouldn't say "have an abortion."
They shouldn't say "don't have an abortion."
They SHOULD explain the pros and cons of each choice objectively, and let the patient make a decision.
And if they are not in any specialization that has to do with reproduction, like, say, dentistry, then they shouldn't say anything either way.

[Sapphire Silk]

I would put that on the same level as a medical provider telling her she should NOT have an abortion! Medical providers are there to provide a service, and NOT to make moral judgements, one way OR the other.

They shouldn't say "have an abortion."
They shouldn't say "don't have an abortion."
They SHOULD explain the pros and cons of each choice objectively, and let the patient make a decision.
And if they are not in any specialization that has to do with reproduction, like, say, dentistry, then they shouldn't say anything either way.

No discussion of abortion should take place before the provider has assessed the values of the patient.

[wolfie]

I would put that on the same level as a medical provider telling her she should NOT have an abortion! Medical providers are there to provide a service, and NOT to make moral judgements, one way OR the other.

They shouldn't say "have an abortion."
They shouldn't say "don't have an abortion."
They SHOULD explain the pros and cons of each choice objectively, and let the patient make a decision.
And if they are not in any specialization that has to do with reproduction, like, say, dentistry, then they shouldn't say anything either way.

Definitely! The only mention the dentist should have made about the pregnancy was if it would affect treatment (i.e. X-rays, local anaesthetics, etc.).