Dentist called me ugly

[Seshat]

I found out this week that she didn't say a word about my slightly misaligned teeth because in all her careful scrutiny, she didn't even notice. Obviously it's NOT a problem!

For most of us, things we perceive as flaws are just not noticeable except to us - and perhaps to professionals in the field.

I'd be annoyed if a dermatologist didn't notice some of my bicoloured moles, for example. But my husband only noticed one of the more prominent when I asked if he'd thought it had changed.

(For those who have a low risk of skin cancer: changes in moles, and moles with two or more colours, can be signals of cancer. That's why I'd be pissed off at a dermatologist who didn't notice.)

Oh! Need to run out the door, but before I forget, Seshat, that butterfly is awesome!! I am not okay with insect-y things, but wow... that was amazing to see, and to read about. I want to go see some in the wild now, even if they do kind of give me the creeps!

You're most welcome.

At one point, I was doing rehabilitation in a rehab hospital: one of the people who had a session in the muscle gym the same time I did, had lost his leg just barely below the knee.

He'd done one of the most gorgeous things about this 'flaw' in his body: he, or some friend of his, had created a 'puppy dog' cover for his bandaging!

He'd turned a 'flaw' into a major asset. Made him look gorgeous.

[Redbeard]

Thank you for sharing, Redbeard. I had been worried about that kind of thing, but I was also kind of tuning that out because it sounds so paranoid, you know? Obviously, though, it's within the realm of possibility, and this guy has already shown a complete lack of respect for my decisions.

Good for you! Some people seem to forget that YOU are paying THEM for a service, not for criticism, not for life advice, but to work on your bloody teeth.

Your sister sounds like a smart lady, you should listen to her

[Sapphire Silk]

!!!

My canines might be a bit weird, but they're MY CANINES. You don't touch them without asking me first!

I'd be pretty damn stabbity too.

I'm missing two incisors on my top teeth (the smaller ones, not the bigger ones); my orthodontist needed to remove some teeth in order to straighten them because my mouth is too small (not that anyone who knows me would agree with that ).

He tried to file them down, but I couldn't tolerate the procedure.

Still, the dentist was unethical to file Redbeard's canines without his consent. My dentist always gets a signed consent for anything other than a routine teeth cleaning, which I think is a pretty good idea actually.

But considering how hard it is to find a dentist that takes insurance, I can understand why Redbeard didn't make a big fuss. I've seen too many patients in the ER with dental problems because no local dentist will take Medicaid, won't take a particular insurance plan, the plan won't cover the work that needs to be done (typical dental plans cover 50% if you are lucky), or the dentist demands payment up front.

[Seshat]

I'm missing two incisors on my top teeth (the smaller ones, not the bigger ones); my orthodontist needed to remove some teeth in order to straighten them because my mouth is too small (not that anyone who knows me would agree with that ).

Oh, absolutely. I have a friend whose dentist removed his rear non-wisdom-teeth molars because there wasn't going to be room for his wisdom teeth. He, his parents, and his dentist had a mutual consultation and decided to take out the teeth that had been damaged and filled over the years, and let the brand new teeth take their place.

Sometimes teeth have to be modified, or removed. (I have a steel cap on one of my molars. I also had other molars filed down, at my request, because I was injuring my tongue on them.)

But very little dental work is so urgent the dentist can't ask first!


As for dental work coming into the ER because it's so expensive people can't afford it: fratch fratch fratchitty fratching!

[BuffySummers]

Dentists push the cosmetic work because most insurances don't cover it, so they can collect the full price. In order to participate with dental insurance (and thus have access to all the people in your area who are in that dental network), dental offices agree to a fee schedule, which is often 25%-50% less than the office fee. My old office charged $88 for an adult cleaning w/o exam, but insurances would pay between $49-72 for the service.

HOWEVER - there is NO EXCUSE for pushing the cosmetic work after the patient has already declined. That's the sign of a young guy who just realized he's in over his head with his new practice and needs to make rain fast.

I recommend looking for a woman dentist, or an older, more established dentist - someone who will discuss cosmetic matters if you are interested, but won't push them, and who focuses on the care and maintenance of your teeth.

Is there a dental school where you are? You could look into making an appointment with a student, or at the faculty practice.

(I office manage for a specialist dental practice, and have managed several other general practices in the past)

[Maria]

I recommend looking for a woman dentist, or an older, more established dentist - someone who will discuss cosmetic matters if you are interested, but won't push them, and who focuses on the care and maintenance of your teeth.

Is there a dental school where you are? You could look into making an appointment with a student, or at the faculty practice.

There is a dental school, I am pretty sure, and it might honestly be a good choice. I've always balked at that because I have mutant genes that make me a little difficult to work with -- whoever got the idiot idea to put so much connective tissue and joints near teeth, ought to be fired! But now that I'm rethinking that, you know... a school might be a good match for me; maybe I could get someone who's open to the idea that he/she might not know everything in the world yet.

I think what hit me so hard was that I'd just spent a month working on the very issues he touched on, but y'all are right, we were having two different conversations there. I was discussing healthcare, and he was having a sales meeting. And he's fired now... it took some work to realize it, but what I got from that visit, that wouldn't be okay with me if it happened to anyone else; it shouldn't be okay to happen to me either.

Also, something I wanted to share -- working my way through all of this, I found operationbeautiful.com which I haven't gotten to look through yet (somebody loaned me the companion book just last night) but it's quite relevant to the thread, so I wanted to share it with anyone else who might come along.

(And Redbeard, you've got that totally right -- my sister's the smartest, most inspiring person I know. I'm so glad I found her!)

[Shangri-laschild]

a school might be a good match for me; maybe I could get someone who's open to the idea that he/she might not know everything in the world yet.

Not to mention that, at least at the school I work at, they wouldn't be doing any of the complicated stuff so there wouldn't be any benefit to trying to sell you on it.

[RootedPhoenix]

Maria, I'm glad you fired that dentist. He really didn't have your best interest in mind. I hope you find a good one soon.

[fma_fanatic]

I'm sorry your dentist is a tool, Maria. I wish you could see my dentist. He's awesome and great. I have a huge phobia with dentists because the one I saw as a kid was horrible. I don't think he liked kids and didn't have much patience with them.

I hate needles and his assistant is kind enough to hold my hand when he as to administer the novicaine. He's never pushed for anything cosmetic because he's more concerned with "putting out the forest fires" with the amount of work he's done on me.

DaDairyDruid has a great dentist as well, and as far as I know he'd never said that he needs cosmetic work.

[Andara Bledin]

I've seen too many patients in the ER with dental problems because no local dentist will take Medicaid, won't take a particular insurance plan, the plan won't cover the work that needs to be done (typical dental plans cover 50% if you are lucky), or the dentist demands payment up front.

My dental coverage will do routine maintenance, but any actual work is only covered up to something pathetic like 10-15% unless you let it get so bad that you're in pain and require emergency service, at which point it gets covered 100%. >_< And this is the best my company can find even going through a co-op service.

As for dental work coming into the ER because it's so expensive people can't afford it: fratch fratch fratchitty fratching!

I hate to say it, but I will likely be one of those people. I know better, but the work I need done will cost more than my car after insurance, and possibly as much as my house. That, and I have a terrible fear of doctors in general and dentists in particular that's so bad I can feel my blood pressure rising just talking about it.

^-.-^

[Seshat]

I hate to say it, but I will likely be one of those people. I know better, but the work I need done will cost more than my car after insurance, and possibly as much as my house. That, and I have a terrible fear of doctors in general and dentists in particular that's so bad I can feel my blood pressure rising just talking about it.

My fratching-due opinion of the situation is NOT to the people trapped in the horrible situation, Andara. It's to the society-as-a-whole that has that situation happen.

I am very much in sympathy with the various attempts many US folk have made - and continue to make - for peaceful change. Especially with your health care system: with trying to make health care affordable. And I include dental care as part of health care.

For price comparison:
I had a crown put on one of my molars a few years ago. It didn't require a root canal, but did require significant work and two extended visits.
Total cost would have been a bit over $2000 (but the govt paid). The Aussie dollar is almost the same as the USD right now.

I'm almost tempted to suggest visiting Aussieland and having your dental work done here: it might be cheaper! Even with the plane flight!

If you're anywhere near Canada, check how much a Canadian dentist would charge you. It might be worth the road trip to get it done there.

[pzychobitch]

If you lived in/near Orlando I could recommend a good office for you. Completely opposite of what you experienced. They're professional. They know their shit.